Rant post warning: My OH and I are two... - Fertility Network UK

Fertility Network UK

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Rant post warning


My OH and I are two months into our 6month waitlist for donor sperm.

We are doing down the donor sperm route as he is a paraplegic and has zero semen.

What is annoying me at the moment is the amount of young people that are falling pregnant and terminating the pregnancy. Or people who have known each for a short period of time and are trying for a baby!

It annoys me that we are on a waitlist and have to jump through so many hoops to try for our miracle but these people are "just going to have one". Literally a comment from a coworker of mine - her and her bf have only been together and only known each other for 2 months and she already has a daughter to another guy. I can't even put into words my frustration but you can't know someone after 2 months and just try for a baby especially when you have your 4 year old to think about.

8 Replies

Yep I feel your pain!

Im a manager and a few weeks after finding out that my OH didn’t have any sperm, one of my team got pregnant. She was 18, couldn’t tell her mum, couldn’t tell her BF and so she told me.

She ended up having an abortion which I completely supported as she could not have looked after a child and I fully support a woman’s right to choose, but it was bloody difficult.

Every time she came to me to arrange one of the appointments I just faked it and cried at home.

It’s just so tough...and maybe even a tiny bit worse when you know there isn’t any chance of ever having a miracle pregnancy. Sending hugs xx

Ajplus1 in reply to Kyell2


try not to get upset. The sad fact is for most people getting pregnant , when you're young and healthy, is something you have to actively avoid if you don't want it to happen. We've been trying for 6 years and each pregnancy, each flippant remark feels like a kick in the teeth, but for most people this isn't something they experience or have any appreciation of..just focus on your treatment and best luck!

Ajplus1 in reply to Billywhizz10

Good luck on your journey xx

Yep - totally feel your pain. I just can’t understand it. Can’t understand why it happens for them and not for me? What have I done so wrong. Seeing heavily pregnant women smoking without a care in the world, women with multiple children pregnant again ‘because they can’. All my life all ive ever wanted to be was a mum, took for granted that it would happen and sadly as of yet it looks like its not meant to be 😞 xx

Hidden in reply to Sunshine92

Oh god yes! When I went for a scan in EPU I actually saw a women in labour outside smoking! I know she was in labour as she came in with a man who asked her what floor she needed for the delivery suite! She was attached to a drip & everything! Last time I had a ERPC another patient was on her phone outside my room saying if what she read on Facebook was true, she would just have an abortion! Totally shocking what we see & hear sometimes xx

Ajplus1 in reply to Hidden

Wow that would definitely be shocking to see xx

Ajplus1 in reply to Sunshine92

I definitely understand that one. One of my co workers is pregnant with number for her eldest just turned 4!!

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