I have been determined to document our donor egg IVF journey since I first realised how embarrassed I was that I didn't even know donor egg IVF existed. The ridiculous but normal, reasoned but crazy thoughts that go through your head are - at best - unreal. Until I set up my own blog to share my thoughts, this forum is kind of like my home to document them. So if you're already bored of me - sorry!
We live in a society where there is still a taboo around IVF; and donor conception in general. I felt so alone in trying to work out whether donor conception was right for us.
My first IVF ended on 17 July 2016 and last week on the morning of my BFP while looking for some paper for my friends daughter to scribble on I found a pros and cons list for donor egg conception that me and Mr Emu had created on 24 July 2016.
I love this list. I want to frame it and keep it forever! I'd never looked at since we'd written it but this will give you a very clear understanding of the thought processes me and Mr Emu went through. As well as demonstrating why Mr Emu is an absolute rock and makes me laugh every day.
In case you're wondering... I do have a small forehead. I hate it. But I cried a lot about not passing on. Mr Emu has had massive forehead. He hates it. I cried with laughter at the thought of our poor child ending up with it!
I don't know why I thought I wouldn't have loads of injections! Five weeks I was injecting for!
Also, I had to leave his plectrum over a word I wrote to describe one of his cons... that "it might work." He's from Yorkshire. Parting with money is difficult for him! So I called him a naughty word!
So I wanted to share this to show there are crazy and funny times on this journey as well sad ones. It's ok to have crazy thoughts. It's ok to take your time to decide what to do. It's ok to laugh and cry at the same time; this was not in your life plan.