So angry!! Need to let it out so I ca... - Fertility Network UK

Fertility Network UK

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So angry!! Need to let it out so I can move on!!

CBOO1
CBOO1

Fathers Day........ my partner has a 7 year old son who lives in Australia - he moved out there with his mum last year. He does his best to keep a relationship, he even went over there for a long weekend last year because that’s all we could manage financially but he said a few days is better than nothing....... I realise he is 7 & so maybe not quite understanding of what day it was here yesterday but his mother would know & yet no phone call, no message, no card, nothing all day! When he was here I used to buy a card but we agreed that now he is not it wouldn’t be right because quite obviously it is from me & he said I’m not your dad so it would be abit weird now! Every other Sunday he FaceTimes in the morning, this one special day, he does not!! Late last night he finally calls, first thing he says, Dad there’s a toy I want......... no happy Father’s Day Daddy, no thank you for the last toy we sent! And when he said did you know it’s daddys day today he said oh yeah I forgot. The hurt I could feel coming off of my man was unbearable!!! And all the while I am desperately trying to make him a dad & when that happens he will know how much he is appreciated & what a brilliant dad he is every day of the year!! And that can’t come soon enough!!

8 Replies
DianeArnold
DianeArnoldAdministrator

Hi CB001. I was so sorry to see how upset you were about this. Father's Day in Australia is on Sunday 2nd September this year, so hopefully she will remember to get your partner's son to send him a card then. Bless you, it must be so difficult when you are both desperately trying for a baby and having to cope with such days on top of everything else. I don't know what else to say, but I really do hope that the time will soon be here that you can enjoy Father's Day over here in June with your partner. Thinking of you. Diane

CBOO1
CBOO1 in reply to DianeArnold

Thank you Diane for your lovely message! It is so hard, I wish she would just put a little more effort in considering she took his son away, I’m sorry to say I think she knows exactly what she’s doing but that’s another matter entirely! Fingers crossed we get somewhere with all of this soon, just got to win the lottery first! Thank you again xx

DianeArnold
DianeArnoldAdministrator in reply to CBOO1

Bless you. I feel you will with such determination. Diane xx

I dislike Father’s Day my ex husband makes very little effort with his kids over the years never got me cards off the kids for Mother’s Day. But I always ask them if they want to get him one which they do and my daughter made him a present. My bf doesn’t want to be their “dad” as they have one but wants recognition on Father’s Day as he’s bring them up. I find it difficult to find the right balance over a stupid day it irritates me. It’s sad if no effort is made and he’s doing his best for his son. His mother should have said to mention Father’s Day tho if it’s on a different day in Australia she might have just forgot.

CBOO1
CBOO1 in reply to gcw104

I agree with you in the sense that it’s all gone abit crazy & I think it’s gotten so commercialised now, but at the end of the day my partner is a daddy & a very good one & it wasn’t his choice for his son to move so far away to a place that is practically inaccessible to us because it is just so expensive to get out there & it makes me so sad that he is suffering & there is nothing I can do about it. I know exactly how your boyfriend feels, I felt the same when it came to Mother’s Day & his son was here as I did a lot of the looking after him. Being a step parent is a thankless & really hard job, you do all the parent stuff but without the unconditional love being there, you have to get to that point on your own & it’s even harder when there’s a nightmare ex in the wings making it even more difficult! I hope your partner had a special Father’s Day of his own with you & felt special for the ‘dad’ he is being xx

I bet it’s really hard for him not being able to see all the time and is sad when a card and a happy Father’s Day phone call cost nothing. My kids got him card and a little something this year he was happy with that. I got him a little father to be card for him as I’m pregnant so next year we’ll have a baby together. Although he couldn’t show it to anyone as we haven’t told the kids yet I’m only 7 weeks.

CBOO1
CBOO1 in reply to gcw104

That’s really lovely, congratulations! I would love to believe that next year I’ll be able to do the same but it’s getting further & further out of reach every time I add up what our treatment is going to cost 😢 Yeah she should of got him to send a message at least but if the past is anything to go by then she knew what she was doing & she didn’t do so on purpose!

I know my ex has never got cards for me off the kids my parents took my kids the first few years to get me stuff really annoyed me we were together for 16 years.

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