Panic Attack: I was told on Monday that... - Fertility Network UK

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Panic Attack

beauty1984 profile image
9 Replies

I was told on Monday that I had 3 empty sacs, then Tuesday I had another scan which confirmed the empty sacs. I was so scared about going through a miscarriage that I decided to have surgery instead which I had yesterday. This morning though I have woken up in pieces, I can’t breathe and can’t stop crying, I feel like I’m having a panic attack. Have I made a huge mistake. I have read stories of people who were told they had empty sacs but they left it and a few weeks later there was a baby there. Have I made the biggest mistake? I am so heartbroken and don’t know what to do 💔

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beauty1984
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tiger-cub profile image
tiger-cub

Oh!! It's total heartbreaking.

Of course u feel like crying. But this process is so painful sometimes u can't stop crying and sometimes u are numbed . So just listen to your heart and be nice to urself . And on the positive side I did get pregnant.

But believe me sometimes one needs to take out all what's inside and then get stronger and move on .

I'm sorry your feeling so bad this morning sweetie but you must let yourself grieve in order to get stronger then in time move on. This is the most awful thing to go through so its normal to doubt decisions you have made but I'm sure if there was any doubt after your 2 scans they would have rescanned you again in a few days time before agreeing to doing your surgery. In time you will get stronger & you will get through this I promise. Please just be kind to yourself until then. Sending love to you xx

Breathe. You are here. You are alive. You will get through this even though it seems impossible right now. People love you.

I know it's hard to trust what you don't know and can't understand. There is no logic for this pain you have to go through but know you are not alone. The internet will show us what we want to see sometimes, against all better judgement. There will always be stories of this or that or what ifs. The important thing is to remember this is not your fault. It is crushingly sad and it's OK to feel this. No way the doctors would have conducted the surgery with the possibility of this turning around and being a viable pregnancy. But of course, I understand these thoughts, I've had many similar. I grilled the consultant about why my pregnancy didn't continue, who could I Blame, them, me, the universe! So many unanswered questions.

I'm a month on now from that awful time and I'm writing this to show you that you will get through to the other side, and am here if you need me on this one xx

Much love x

DianeArnold profile image
DianeArnoldPartnerNurseFertility Network UK

Hi beauty1984. Oh my poor poppet! No wonder you’re so upset. Please be reassured that you had two scans that both gave the same diagnosis. No specialist would perform a D & C without confirmation that it was OK to do so. It’s been such a stressful time for you to have to go through so much. Why not have a chat with your GP who might prescribe something to help you over the next few days. Hope you have plenty of support at home. Sending you gentle hugs and I am thinking of you. Diane

Autumnmoon profile image
Autumnmoon

So sorry to hear of your understandable heartbreak as everyone has said there is no way they would have done surgery if there was the slightest chance for you but of course it was what you wanted more than anything so your mind is playing tricks on you I hope you are surrounded by people who love and support you and that you have time to heal sending love x

AllWeNeedIsluv profile image
AllWeNeedIsluv

Bless ya hun, I can totally relate with these feelings I felt like this back in November when I lost bubu at 6 weeks but it didn't come away naturally and had it confirmed at 8 weeks. I kept thinking if I leave bubu there it will grow and have a heartbeat etc I was torturing my own self I had to go with Medical management..

Hun please grieve and like Diane said maybe go to drs to see if they can prescribe something to help hun.

Your bound to feel all these, raw emotions don't expect nothing from yourself and take all the support you can.

We're all here, for you hun whenever you need us.

Big hugs darling. Lots of, love

💝😘💝

Ninirk profile image
Ninirk

Hi, I am really sorry that you are going through this. Please try not to worry, you have not made any mistake and I think you were right in trusting the doctors who knows what is best for you. Please know that it is OK to cry and feel broken after this emotional ride, me & my OH couldn't get our heads around an early miscarriage a few days ago after our first ever bfp. Please try not to feel bad about the outcome as it is totally out of our hands. I wholeheartedly wish you recover from this soon. Please talk to your clinic and see if you can get some counselling if you think that might help you. But as others have said we are all here when you need us. Wish you only the best of luck in this journey.

Penders profile image
Penders

Oh hunni please don't do this to yourself, you have already been through enough. stop reading these stories they won't do you any good! It's understandable to have these feelings. I felt like it too with my first miscarriage last year I thought they are wrong something will develop in a few weeks so we waited to miscarry naturally, 3 weeks went by no miscarriage happened and nothing developed on the baby side either. Had to have medical management and all the what ifs went through my head. They would not do your procedure unless they were certain that the sacks would not develop. Allow yourself to grieve shout and scream if you have to. Let it all out before it consumes you. Sending you lots of love and big hugs. If you ever need a chat I'm here. 💗💗

Looby25 profile image
Looby25

😢 sending you love and hugs x x x

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