Explaining not drinking to friends du... - Fertility Network UK

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Explaining not drinking to friends during IVF....

12 Replies

Hi has anyone had trouble explaining not drinking?

During ttc I had cut down on alcohol and a few months before IVF totally stopped drinking.

Has anyone else found this difficult? I have tended to avoid social gatherings for the last few months as know it is a big red flag if people see me not drinking.

Also really painful if people think I am pregnant and we are having this hard time trying.

Any tips advice welcome ladies.

Xxx

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12 Replies
Lilli79 profile image
Lilli79

I thought this would be the case with me as I was a relatively big drinker before ivf. Nobody really noticed that much, when we were out with friends I just drove everywhere and said we were trying to save money etc etc. People either weren't bothered or just didn't ask. My mum and dad were aware of our ivf but no one else in my family, so at family gatherings my mum would buy me fizzy grape drinks because they looked like wine and I could get away with it. If people really do notice (or ask) just make up something dramatic and say your doctor says your allergic to alcohol or something, that'll keep them quiet. I find the 'I'm trying to be healthy' only cuts it for a few months and people were constantly asking me when I was going to start drinking again! Lol! xx

in reply toLilli79

Haha yes!!! I was saying I am detoxing....and this seems to have been ok. I suppose I am just more aware of it than other people are!

Xxx

Lilli79 profile image
Lilli79 in reply to

Yeah I wouldn't worry too much, I really don't think people take too much notice. When you do get pregnant everyone will be like 'oh I knew you were pregnant as you weren't drinking' which always make me laugh as most of the time I've seen people and wasn't drinking I actually wasn't pregnant, we were just in the midst of doing ivf! Despite that, I did actually have a few drinks during ivf - it kept me sane!!

in reply toLilli79

I am in the middle of the tww and dying for a wine! ;)

Lilli79 profile image
Lilli79 in reply to

Ah yes obviously best to avoid alcohol then 😉 I am currently 19 weeks and alcohol free beer (not allowed name the brand 😶) is my saviour!

Asweetpea profile image
Asweetpea in reply toLilli79

Have to agree, thank goodness for alcohol free beer.

HPLondon profile image
HPLondon

My best advice is to just own the fact you’re not drinking. Just say ‘I’m off the booze right now - not been feeling great so on a health kick’. I found that trying to hide it just meant I’d eventually have a drink or it looked really shifty and people thought I was pregnant. The more confident you are with it, the less people care - especially given everyone seems to be on a health kick nowadays!

in reply toHPLondon

Aww thanks - you are SO right. It helps that I have been going to the gym and off gluten etc....so just added one more to the story! :)

All about the confidence - thanks for the advice.

xxx

lucylob profile image
lucylob

I said I was on antibiotics or I buy orange juice or lemonade when out so it looks like I’m drinking. I also told the waitress in a restaurant. Last week and she announced my drink as vodka orange lol so nobody would ask why it was just orange . I also make a swift exit to the ladies when shots arrive so by the time I get back they have been drunk . X

in reply tolucylob

oh haha good work! I never thought of that. Isn't it mad what we have to do?! :) x

lucylob profile image
lucylob in reply to

It really is but it’s worth it not to have to answer the difficult questions etc. My one friend knew and me and her had a right laugh as she was downing the glasses of prosecco that were being poured for me whilst no one was looking and chucking shots away for me if I did get caught in a round . The waitress just assumed I was pregnant when I asked if she could pretend it was a vodka orange and it was fine as it saved me having a million questions asked xx

staceymac83 profile image
staceymac83

It’s such a hard one, I used to say am working the next day but lately we have been a lot more open about our ivf journey and it has made these type of events a lot easier but I understand that’s not an option for everyone xx

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