Need some strength

[KJLee]

My gosh, how do you ladies do ‘X’ amount of these cycles?! We have our first failed fresh cycle and I’m in bits!

Test date was yesterday - BFN. Asked to keep pessaries going for a couple more days and retest, but I’m not feeling hopeful as it feels like AF is about to turn up uninvited any day now.

I took yesterday off work because of the spontaneous crying outbursts but hubby and a good friend of mine took my mind of things and I started to feel ok.

I decided this morning to go into work, get back to normality and hoped it would take my mind off things. Boy was I wrong! Think I cried all the way home and the flood gates opened as soon as I walked through my door and hubby gave me a massive cwtch.

Hoping for a bit of warrior fairy dust as I’m not feeling very strong right now 😪 xx

[everhopeful83]

So sorry to hear your news, sending hugs💗xxx

[Smang]

I’m so sorry KJLee, it’s ok to be sad and upset that doesn’t mean you’re not a warrior, because believe me you are! This entire process has so many ups and downs, but at the end of the day no matter what happens we are strong women for not giving up in the first place. It will take some time and when you’re ready you will be just a little more stronger than when you first started. Sending positive vibes and love your way xxx

[KJLee in reply to Smang]

Thank you @Smang xx

You’ve made me cry again! 🙈 currently trying to focus on the positives, we’ll have a good summer together then get ourselves in a good headspace and try again xx

[Smang in reply to KJLee]

Sorry didn’t mean to make you cry again. But I just want you to know that it may not feel like it at the moment, but you are incredibly brave and strong. Enjoy the summer and take s break from all this and together you and your other half will get through this xxx

[Cinderella5]

God I dont think there is an answer to that! The strength just seems to come from nowhere really when you are ready! I think its really important to have lots of tears, hugs and talking. Treat yourself to something nice to do together, you deserve it for going through all of this....its a shitty thing having to take all those drugs - especially when it feels all for nothing!

You are strong even if you dont feel it. To get through an IVF cycle is a feat in itself. No its not for the faint hearted but you did it and even if you didnt get the outcome we all want you still did it! Take time and come back and fight when you're both ready! Sending hugs.xx

[Barbara101]

I am so sorry KJLee. It will get better, you’re stronger than you think right now. Its ok to feel the way you do right now and when you’re ready you can decide what to do next. Stay positive xx

[Blondyboo]

I know how you feel x i found that organizing the next cycle and doing research in what I could do more of like tests and things helped me. I found focusing on the next round got me through it.

IVF is a gamble like a gamble flipping a coin. if a baby = heads and you flip a coin your 'heads' may not come up for a few times and you get tails but eventually heads will appear! xx

[Asweetpea]

I’m not surprised your finding it hard. You have been through so much. You need to give yourself time to grieve. I have huge admiration for people who have been through this many times. Everyone on here are so strong. A real inspiration. You will get there. Give yourself time. Perhaps look into counselling.

Lots of love and hugs. Crying is ok.xxxx

[Noobs]

Aw KJLee. Sending you lots of hugs. Might not feel it right now but you’ll get through this💪.xx

[lorraineb61]

So sorry to hear of your BFN. For me the first one was the worst as you build up all this hope and start planning and then it cruelly gets taken away from you.

You have no idea how strong you actually are until you go through this. Anyone that goes through all these procedures, injections etc is already strong.

Take time to grieve and in a few days you will realise how strong you actually are and will hopefully start planning for cycle 2.

It's that hope and belief that gets us all through the hard times.

Sounds like you have a great husband - remember he's grieving too - hold onto 1 another and be selfish - if someone asks you to go out say no!!

Look after yourselves xx

[Hidden]

Oh sweetheart it’s normal to feel like this!! I’ve been through 6 rounds and it’s draining in every possible way!!! Takes so much effort, energy, money, heart and soul but we preserved relentless (words of our Consultant) and we got there. Take your time to grieve and believe me you’ll find the strength to pick yourself up and crack on and you will get there!! Everyone who goes through this builds a fierce inner strength 😘xxx