Can I handle this again?

[Niki_B]

Hi ladies, first imwill let you know I live in New Zealand...we don't really have a chat or group like this to discuss our ivf woes. So i just finished my first round of ivf. Was overjoyed for egg collection when 15 eggs were retrieved at my age just turned 38 (and let me tell you my egg collection was horrendous...they do not put you out here...suppose to give you good drugs that apparently you won't remember the treatment...yeah right to remember everything and was screaming like I was in a slaughterhouse. Anyways so out of those 15 eggs, 14 were mature and then 11 fertilized overnight! Yay! So I thought for sure when I go in for my fresh transfer I will at least have 1 or 2 to freeze. Nope nothing and the 5 day blast we had was "middle of the road" embryo were her words.all those embryos and none good enough to freeze? Well obviously was a BFN I was devasted. So the government here will only fund 1 more round and and I'm asking myself can I go through this heartache again? Because of the 2nd time doesn't work we don't have the money to fund another round. Sorry for the long story just feeling so upset and confused about everything. I didn't think I would be this devasted as obviously I know it doesn't always happen first time..

[abcgirl]

Sorry I hear this. It is so heartbreaking. In my first round I had 8 eggs collected and nothing fertilised. I was devastated. Unfortunately IVF is part diagnostic and some trial and error. Hopefully they have a better idea of what they can improve upon for the second cycle. We tried again, did ICSI in round 2, got 17 eggs (more than double!) and 12 fertilised. Ended up with 6 blasts. So it was literally night and day. Take some time to recover but you can do it again.

Also as for the potential cause why they didn’t do so well from day 3 to 5, I’ve read some research/info that has pointed to the sperm being less than ideal. Of course it’s hard to pinpoint but might as well go into round 2 knowing you’ve done everything possible to increase your success. Is your partner on vitamins or anything? Might be something you can try doing before the next round.

Bets of luck and stay strong.

[Niki_B in reply to abcgirl]

Thank you so much for your encouraging words. Yes we did icsi too as my partners sperm mobility isn't the best. Do you think sperm was the issue? Yes his diet is horrible he hates fruit and vegetables etc. Maybe next time round if I decide to do it I will make him take vitamins or eat healthier. And in New Zealand rules are very different here...if you have less than 5 fertilized embryos they will look at them at day 3 and decide whether to go to day 5 or not. In my case I had 11 fertilized...once they put them in the dish they do not even look at them until day 5!!! I wss shocked when I called on day 3 to see how they were and the embryologist said no we don't look at them or touch them as we do not think disturbing their home is a good idea...its best to let them sit until we are ready for fresh transfer day 5. I was gobsmacked whatnot they all died! All this ivf is new to me but been doing so much reading...i have alot of questions for my doctor at our follow up! I just think all those embryos and none to freeze she did say a couple made it to blast but they were very not good quality and would have never been a baby. Was so upset

[abcgirl in reply to Niki_B]

I’d say eating a balance diet with fresh fruits and vegetables is where to start and it doesn’t hurt. Sperm parameters can vary wildly... it does take about 3 months for any lifestyle changes to make an impact though.

That being said my husband didn’t have any Sperm issues according to the tests, we did IVF and that failed miserably. He doesn’t smoke, only drinks occasionally and eats well. I got him on vitamins anyway but vitamins can’t really replace a balance diet.

HE wasn’t a ‘typical’ candidate for ICSi but we did that the second time with an additional treatment and it worked like a charm. Still waiting for a BFP but each step we’ve gotten further along.

It does seem like a crap shoot. You can only try doing different things and hope something works.

At my clinic it’s the same - if you have more than 5 embryos (I think) on day 3 then they go to day 5 and dont check in between. I don’t know why you never hear of day 4 transfers. And of course there’s debate on whether a day 3 that didn’t survive in incubation would have survived in the body... you can never know. And that’s the hardest part about all this... there are always some unknowns and you have to make peace with that. Nothing is predictable and no matter how hard you try, doesn’t guarantee success. It sucks

[Mules2018 in reply to abcgirl]

Hi there - my clinic checks and reports on the embryos from Day 1 to 3 and then Day 5. I was told by the embryologist and the Doctor that they don't disturb the embryos on Day 4 because they are going through a big change at this point and getting more complex so it is best to leave them on the 4th day and let them progress to blastocyst. Hope that helps a bit.

[Mantaray75]

Sorry to hear this. I had no response to drugs first time, 8 eggs second time with one resulting blastocyst but miscarried and then 2 blasts and then 1 blast on final round. So much for having spares!

I'm in NZ too although originally from the UK. I had my treatment with Fertility Associates in Dunedin although went to Christchurch for 2nd round cos Dunedin was being refurbished. I never got funding here as needed to have 5 years of unexplained infertility to qualify and also I was turning 40 at the time.

We're now about to go to Spain for egg donation as I'm 42. Still trying to get my head round it.

Otago and Southland have a good facebook group and they meet up too so there might be something in your area. I can put you in touch with this group if you want cos at least they're good for advice.

x

[elle80]

My egg collection was horrendous too! I woke up twice, the first time they gave me more sedation and then I woke again and wasn't allowed anymore. I was crying my eyes out! So I really feel for you and could understand why you may not want to do that part again!

My husband has poor sperm and he had to take zinc, selenium and vit c. There are other vitamins that others take. He also exercises regularly, and barely drinks and doesn't smoke. These things can damage sperm quality. I think there's some vitamins that claim to improve quality of eggs too. But obviously being healthy and eating healthy foods is a good place to start. It's a shame that they don't look at the embryos every day, over here people have 3 day embryos put in..

But I wouldn't give up, especially as you have another funded go. A lot of people have success second time.

Good luck xx

[Niki_B]

Thanks for your replies ladies. I've just been so depressed and just making myself sleep cause it's easier to just sleep than think cry and be upset. I hate this feeling I have of just being completely useless. I just feel like a waste of space I'm actually starting to worry about the thoughts I'm having...ive been trying to be strong for too long just don't know how much more I can take