Crying in a pub toilet on a sat night - Fertility Network UK

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Crying in a pub toilet on a sat night


So my expected fear happened and one of my closest friends told me she was pregnant last night in the middle of a crowded pub. I had to leave the table and went and cried in a toilet for a few minutes. I knew she and her hubby were going to try but they only tried for one cycle. It seems so utterly unfair. I know I am not alone in feeling like this but last night was a new low on this journey!

19 Replies

It’s so so hard to see others get what we desperately want so easily. I hope you have some nice things to do today. Treat yourself and don’t be hard on yourself xx

It is so hard. I’m at the point where my friends are having their 2nd and 3rd babies in the same time that we’ve been trying for one. It’s difficult not to feel left out & then feel guilty for feeling that way in the first place. I hope you don’t dwell on it and manage to distract yourself from such emotions. We’re all here for the necessary rants xxxx

I had a similar experience and managed to hold it together until I was alone. Just cry, we all need to some days....and don't feel bad about it!! Sending hugs xx

Hidden in reply to Cinderella5

I know lots of people who have cried when they found out someone else is pregnant and they are not.

On one hand you are glad for them and wouldn't wish ill on them but you think why can't that be me?


I feel your pain! I went to dinner with my old boss and his wife, and they announced she's pregnant, when they weren't even trying properly, and on the tube home I started crying and I literally couldn't stop and this women was comforting me and I still couldn't stop crying ! She must have thought I was mad I'm so embarrassed but the sadness over took me and I kind of lost control maybe I'm having a break down !

So I really understand how u must have felt on Saturday, sending u hugs xxx

Thanks all it’s comforting I’m not alone! Just makes me furious, sad, angry, jealous and embarrassed at the same time when things like last night happen.x

Hi there

I'm so sorry to hear you are struggling so much and was in that situation 😟. It is so very hard to deal with pregnancy announcements most espically in public.

I am due back to work this week after a failed ivf cycle and dreading it. Don't know how I'm going to deal with things and my emotions as all over the place. will also be in contact with someone pregnant .

I hope you are OK (as you can be) and as pps said don't be too hard on yourself and feel guilty (easier said than done) . Hope you are finding it a little easier today and not feeling to overwhelmed and sad.


My reply crossed with your update, can completely sympathise with all those emotions ,completely xxx

That sounds really hard hopingforasign. I truly hope work goes well this week. I’m feeling less overwhelmed today. We are staring or first ivf round very soon.x

Thankyou, after I sent that I worried a bit it would come across the wrong way like I was projecting my problems . It was said to let you know your not alone in your feelings .I know you know your not but it doesn't make it easier when your feeling all the emotions that come with ttc/infertility

I'm glad you are feeling a little better and please to hear you are starting ivf soon hope you have a good support network . If your keeping it private (understandbly) then here seems a good place to post for support ☺



It is very unfair when it seems others get things easy and you don't and it's natural to feel that way.


I get you. I have cried in so many toilets. Mostly at the kitchen table at home though. No one understands unless they go through it. This place is full of kind people who are sharing so many similar stories. Starting IVF is a mine field of emotions but we are here with you should you want to talk. Don't give up! Hope, trust and science for the win xxx

Oh you poor thing. Yes, I’ve been there - I usually manage to hold it together then cry in the car, at home, in the toilets. Infertility is such a horrible thing because at any other time, it would be your friends who comfort you but we feel we have to hide our tears. Just know that you are not alone xxxx


Oh bless you - it's so hard but most of us have been there. I was away one weekend with a group and 2 women announced to me that they were both 8 weeks pregnant. At the time we had just had our first doctors appointment for investigations...We were all out for dinner one night and I had to excuse myself and cry. It's isolating and horrible so 'rant' away. Thinking of you x

Totally crap feeling. I so know what your going through, it sucks. You feel like you’ve been punched in the stomach and the heart at the same time with the stuffing knocked out of you. It gets easier to deal with after the shock sinks in. One thing u can do though is have a bloody good drink and get wasted with the rest xx

I hate myself every time I hear someone’s amazing news and feel gutted/angry/sad. You’re not alone xxx

You poor thing. Hope you’re feeling a little better this evening. I know how much hearing friend’s and family’s pregnancy news can hurt. You take care xx

Oh no, it’s just so difficult isn’t it, especially when you are ambushed with it and aren’t expecting it. I think everyone on here feels exactly the same and we just struggle on in the hope that someday it’ll be our turn to share this type of news😔. Sending love x

Hoping your weekend got a little easier. Lots of hugs. I hate moments like that x

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