Sat night on the sofa crying, a new normal that I'm still adjusting too after a couple of years of this ttc sh*t.
I've had my pregnant best friend here all day who doesn't know about the ivf which I just found emotionally draining as I tried to carry on as normal. Then this evening I've got lower back periods type cramps and the usual stringy discharge that always signals I'm about to start the dreaded spotting a few days before my period. Feeling pretty devasted and low 😔
Thinking of all you wonderful women who do not deserve to go through this!! Xxx
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Shamrock16
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A friend, who's a qualified mental health nurse and works for CAMHS, told me that to be sad, unhappy with life or a bit depressed (mildly depressed for no more than a week, if more than a week to go to gp to access support) is totally normal and she can't understand the obsession in society with trying to pretend to be happy all the time. She said it its unhealthy and does far more harm than good. It said ups and downs are part of life.
She made me feel a lot better and gave me a big hug xx sending hugs to you xx
That is so true and good advice. I have really tried to / had to put a brave face on throughout this whole experience but it has taken it's toll on me and affected many friendships. It's so hard to open up though. I always worry about being talked about...but maybe that would be a good thing. Thank you. Hugs to you too xxx
I went to a counsellor for part of the first year of going through ivf and that helped. I just knew coping with infertility was going be the toughest thing I'd ever face - I'm usually pretty resilient. I didn't want to feel like I was overburdening others with my problems so felt happier paying to see someone.
I have been lucky to have some excellent friends. One friend went through this and she understands that I can't see her sometimes, it's nothing about her but I just can't feel sociable. My energy is used up for work, I've nothing left.
Oh, honey, I'm so sorry. I do not think there is anything that can make you feel better. When I feel sad I stay in bed for a while and then I'm looking for something to do. My mom gave me this idea so I could keep my mind busy and not think too much about my infertility. You can try cooking cookies or organizing your clothes. It does not help to completely overcome things, but it serves me to clear myself up a bit. None of us should go through this.
Hey it could be a good sign! I'm 5dp 5dfet and I was wishing I'd had af type cramping because at this stage on my last fet I did, and I got a bfp! On days 5 and 6 I had af cramps all day, even spotted a couple of times. Nothing like that this cycle 😞 I'm not trying to get your hopes up for nothing, it's just that apparently it's very common to get af symptoms.... xx
Awe hun it sounds like you have had a really tough day. The joys of this 2ww! I had a 5 day transfer on Wednesday. This journey can play crazy games with your mind and I'm absolutely rooting for you. I'm here if you want to chat. Thinking of you xx
On Day 4 – On the fourth day, the blastocyst continues dig deeper into the uterus Light bleeding and spotting may continue on this day as the embryo invades the endometrial blood vessels to nourish itself through the maternal blood supply. However, the absence of any bleeding, cramping and spotting does not mean that implantation has not occurred so don't let your mind play games with you.
Got a day by day page I googled what happens to embryo after transfer.
Oh good luck to you too sweetie. My mind is really playing tricks on me. My test day is not until Saturday but I know I will know before that! When is yours?
Mine is 13 days from ET I had it on the 2nd. Say a lady on here had hers same day and hers is this Friday.
I just don't want to get my hopes up to be let down it's a crap road this ivf and 2ww isn't it
On the page I've been reading it does say your hgc levels should be high enough day 9 but it can give you a false reading so keep to what you've been told.
Just the 15th seems so far away,
And the days and nights I swear are going super slow, xx
I too have spent a good few Saturday nights in tears disappointed, devasted or in pain. I am preparing for my FET and my head is spinning with everything so this evening I plan on getting my blanket out and watching something sat on the sofa. I have washing to do but you know what......it can wait!
I walked passed 2 pregnant women today and that was tough so I can only imagine how you must have felt today. I guess if I had to be objective I don't know what these women really went through to become pregnant. I am sure if one day I become pregnant people will assume it was all easy.
Have you chosen not to tell your best friend about your IVF journey? I didn't tell anyone which was the right decision for me.
Try to rest as much as you can and stay hopeful. Xx
It has been awkward between my friend and I, we were "trying" at the same time and having almost daily conversations, then she got pregnant ( over a yr ago) and just stopped talking about it. I was going to tell her about this but she beat me to it with "I'm pregnant again". I feel so guilty and awful that I am driving a wedge between us with my complicated emotions!
Good luck for you FET. I pray you get the beautiful baby you deserve. Xxx
You shouldn't feel guilty or awful! It's a very emotional journey. No matter how hard it is for me I am happy for women when they fall preganant. It is wonderful news. My sister in law didn't want to tell me that she is pregnant so the news was passed on to me through her husband. I did cry a lot then because I had just miscarried (no one knew) and I was upset at the way the news was shared with me. I thought she could have told me herself. 6 months later she still hasn't found the courage to tell me she is pregnant and she is avoiding me all together which is ridiculous. When you said you are driving a wedge with your complicated emotions I thought my sister in law has made things so awkward for no reason between us and she didn't go through IVF. So complicated emotions can also come from women who fall preganant without any help. I have been through hell but I would still welcome her. I am sure your friend means well but maybe she isn't too sure how to approach such a sensitive subject. My sister in law has really behaved badly in avoiding me and cutting me off. To be honest it will be hard for me to forget how she dealt with everything. Atleast your friend isn't behaving like that!! Xx
Oh no, that does sound very difficult. In my experience there is just such a lack of knowledge and understanding about infertility that people don't know what to say or how to deal with it - on both sides.
I'm sorry you're having to deal with that on top of this already difficult journey. Xx
Just wanted to say Good Luck Shamrock. 🍀🍀🍀🍀🍀 You can do this!
It's okay to be overcome by this whole insane process sometimes...it is physically and emotionally gruelling, but I feel sure you will triumph! Stay strong xxx
Thank you so much. Your kind comments give me strength. I think I was just totally overwhelmed last night, things feel better this morning. Good luck to you too!! Xx
Sorry to see you had a hard day yesterday, it sounds like one that anyone would have struggled to handle. Hopefully the signs you have are good ones but no point second guessing until test day. Sometimes I wish we could wear a blindfold until then! Good luck Xx
You're right that there is no point in second guessing. When I look back on my google history it's embarrassing - some desperate questions, still no answers!! I know you and others hear understand this vicious cycle of emotions that I'm running through. Feeling a bit better today xx
Oh honey I feel for you! I am in exactly the same place, got my normal flow last Wednesday, 2 days before I was due to to the pt after a 5dt. Now today is my birthday and I'm having lunch with 2 of my best friends, one has a 4 Month old the other is 7 months pregnant. Happy birthday me! All I can say is you can't give up hope, keep on moving.. have your down times but try to find happiness in other things around you. That's what I'm doing - it works sometimes! 😂 Good luck xxxx
Oh sweetheart, happy birthday! Although theat sounds like a hideous combo for your birthday lunch - do your friends know your story? Some situations really test every last ounce of your strength, I don't know about you but I definitely feel much more tired these days just trying to keep everything going. Thinking of you today. Xxx
Yes they do know and actually one of them fell pregnant through IVF (first time) so she does get it and the other one is the biggest sweatheart so they were very supportive but its still massively hard! Anyway you might not even have to worry! Saturday could be a good day for you Thinking of you too xx
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Thinking of you too xx
Bleeding 4dp5dt
Seriously low day today - sister in law had baby in night and I feel like crap! 😢😢😢
4dp5dt symptoms 
4dp5dt!!!
