What next?

[Sarah_a_2018]

I think I’m just about back to normal after my failed IVF cycle, back to the gym, got my appetite back, hormones are about as normal as they can be, I might even be ovulating again already, all the signs are there but will just need to wait and see if I get my period in the next couple of weeks.

How long does it take to get back into TTC or considering another attempt at ivf? I was really reluctant to go through this again and really need answers as to how/why this has gone wrong because I know in my situation it’s been a bit more than just bad luck, I’m at a loss for what to do, have had to take myself off Facebook and Instagram because I can’t cope with what feels like daily pregnancy announcements, I’ve bought books, have looked into acupuncture, we’re seeing a nutritionist at the end of the month, not seeing the consultant until the end of March which I’m not happy about but not much I can do, I feel totally lost because I don’t know what to do to make this happen but reluctant to put myself through more emotional upheaval, spend money that we don’t have on false hope.

Any advice much appreciated, thanks x

[-noodles-]

hi sarah, all of what you’ve said could have come directly from my mouth!

it sounds like you’re being really proactive and doing all you can do better your chances. i’ve tried lots of things too - hypnosis, chinese medicine, acupuncture, reflexology. for me one of the hardest parts of this nightmare is total lack of control - with failed implantation it feels like so much of it is just down to luck which is shit.

i think the most important thing is to allow yourself time to grieve - it’s still early days, and you have been through a huge ordeal - physically and emotionally. have you considered counselling?

we are about to start our third round - self funded, despite me saying last year i would never do this to myself again! time is definitely a healer.

sending love & light ✨💕✨

[Sarah_a_2018 in reply to -noodles-]

Thanks it makes me feel a bit more at ease knowing that it’s normal to feel like this, totally unfair and I wouldn’t wish it on anyone but I feel really alone right now and don’t know what to do but feel like I need to keep trying before it’s too late, but I spoke to my therapist and I know myself I need to be in a better place emotionally before I even think about trying this again.

Wishing you the best of luck with your next cycle, hope it works out well for you xx

[DianeArnold Partner Nurse Fertility Network UK]

Hi Sarah_a_2018. Bless you, you're obviously feeling very fragile after your failed attempt, which is so understandable, and I do hope you have plenty of support, and i know the ladies on here will be here for you. On a practical level, it is best to have a normal cycle before commencing with further treatment. I do have a couple of lists of questions I could email you in confidence if you want. You could look through them before seeing your specialist again, just in case there is anything you forgot to ask. My emails are confidential, so email me at [e-mail] and I will send them to you, if you want. Thinking of you. Diane

[Sarah_a_2018 in reply to DianeArnold]

Thanks Diane that would be great, will email when I am home from work

[Dunla]

Hi Sarah, it does take time physically and probably longer emotionally to recover from failed ivf and begin to contemplate what your next step might be. I completely understand you feeling bewildered by it all. You do sound like you’re being really proactive which I think in itself can be good for your emotional wellbeing. I think physically you could wait for a cycle or two to let your body get back into its own natural rhythm. The soonest I had ivf again was probably six months. This was for emotional and mainly financial reasons as we had to self fund the majority of our treatments. I do hope your appointment in March will be helpful for you in finding a way forward. Sending you lots of love and good luck xx

[Sarah_a_2018 in reply to Dunla]

Thanks Dunla, it’s going to take quite a bit of time before I can attempt another IVF cycle, we have one more NHS cycle and then we’ll need to self fund but realistically it’ll take us at least a year to save for one cycle, so I need to be in the best place physically and emotionally to give this the best chance of working.

We’re going to take some time for us, see the consultant and find out what the next steps are but try to do things naturally as best we can and if nothing happens then will try again, I’m going to be 32 in 3 weeks so like to think that time is still in my favour, doesn’t really feel like it right now, hope everything is going well with you xxx

[Dunla]

Time is definitely still in your favour. I think you’re absolutely right to take some time to make sure you feel good physically and mentally to give your next go your best shot. Between now and your appointment, enjoy some time for you and your partner and be good to yourselves.

All is well with me, testing tomorrow. Fingers and toes crossed xx