Moments of getting down....

[Snowy76]

We had our first BFN mid November and waiting to start second cycle (self-funding). Really trying to stay positive but have moments when really just want to cry. Support from Gp surgery and from ACU have been fab.

However work seems to be the problem. I went off during 2WW and was off for another month after result. Went back to discover I had become the subject of gossip, was getting unsolicited advice and looked at left, right and centre like my head was falling off. I've been badly let down by 2 of those I trusted at work NOT to tell anyone ( one was a manager , one a colleague who I have to work closely beside). As a result I've had to totally clam up and not say anything to anyone. I hate this.

The one silver lining is that a different colleague came up to me quietly and said, that she knew, totally understands if I don't want to talk about it and that her child was IVF too. She understood.

Meanwhile, I am still listening to the 3 pregnant women at work talking about baby scans and not looking when "they're measuring the femur" or the suspected pre-eclampsia she may have had and all the support she's getting. When I heard the scan talk at the end of the week, I realised I would've been about 3 months now and starting to announce our news.

Some days I just to cry and get this out of my system and I HATE that people seem to think it's oK to know about other's private life.

Thanks for reading x

[7AVA]

I’m so sorry to hear what you’re going through. Hold on to that silver lining - your colleague who has shown support. Try to remember that you are the most important part of your world and although it is not easy and can be painful, it really doesn’t matter what other people think or say. Wishing you the very best of luck with your next cycle. Xxx

[Dunla]

I’m so sorry to hear your situation in work has been difficult. It’s very disappointing to hear that your manager and colleague weren’t more discrete and respected your right to privacy. It is very hard when people are offering you unsolicited advice, especially when it’s such a private and emotive issue. Not exactly what you want brought up at work. I do have some experience of what you describe and it’s not easy. I ended up staying out of the staff room because of it.

When do you think your second cycle might be? xx

[MissyR]

Hi there, really sorry that people at work have been so unsupportive at such a difficult time for you. In particular, It’s rubbish that your manager broke your confidence. I know it’s easy to say but try and ignore other people- they have no idea and their opinions/advice don’t matter at all. Screw ‘em and focus on the colleague who understands and reached out to to you.

Take care and I hope it gets easier.

[Snowy76]

Thanks 7AVA, Dunla and MissyR. Thankfully, I do get on well with the lady who reached out to me. I tend to avoid the staff room at busy times - believe it or not there's been 16 pregnancies alone at the work in the last 4 years that we've been trying. Gradually over time, I've learned to block a lot of the talk out.....every so often a little snippet does get to me tho. If anything, it is actually helping my work life balance as I'm just going in and doing what I need to do and then leaving. I just have this niggly worry / anxiety about the gossip in the background!

Dunla - our review was just three weeks ago, and the consultant wants us to get cracking as soon as the paperwork and payment is sorted - a big factor in this is my age (41). We got a letter form the consultant just yesterday confirming an ever-so-slight practical change to our next round so will be phoning the business manger who oversees the waiting lists and payments side of things on Tuesday - my day off.

Snowy x

[Jules0277]

Ignore them, they will be chatting about other things soon enough. Wear some headphones and listen to some music if you’re able. Block out their nonsense 😀

What did the consultant advise to do next? What was the small change? I’m 41 later in the year and have completed 3 unsuccessful rounds. We plan to do a 4th cycle in April and want to try something different. X

[Snowy76 in reply to Jules0277]

Sorry for not replying sooner. I will have menopur injections for the first week or so. HOWEVER, the change is that for the first 2 days of these, I will have the dosage split into two injections per day , one in the morning and one at night. We started today and we're doing the short protocol. This I'm glad about as really did not enjoy the mood swings from the seprecur nasal spray!! x

[Jules0277 in reply to Snowy76]

Oh fab, did they say why splitting the dose would help? Are you pleased to try something new. Have they upped your total daily dose? x

[Snowy76 in reply to Jules0277]

I think - I think - it's just to give an extra push encouragement to get things going!

[Jules0277 in reply to Snowy76]

Brilliant! Good luck with it.

[Snowy76 in reply to Jules0277]

Thank you!