Just had a 'moment' :(

we are waiting for our appointment regarding IVF on 9th July after a long wait (tests started last October, bloods, scans, laparoscopy was told I'm now all fine but OH has low sperm). In the mean time my cycles have got shorter and shorter and it's got me so down. I rang my GP who was actually very helpful and said she would give me some blood tests for more than anything to put my mind at rest I'm not pre menopausal. I get the results tomorrow. She said it would be very unlikely at my age 38 and is probably just stress and after hearing that I did actually feel better about it until approximately 1 hour ago I started spotting on day 20 again over a week earlier than normal. I was ok at work but got in the car to come home and on the m5 and it hit me I cried! I must have looked a right tit driving along but once I started I couldn't stop!

I've now come home opened a bottle of wine and started to write this!

Bloody hate feeling so hopeless and being in limbo waiting for what feels like an age for a specialist to tell me what to do. I'm worried IVF isn't going to work because I've left it too late.

To top it off its my god daughter birthday today and I was going to pop over tonight to give her pressy but I just don't think I can.

Sorry for the rant just bloody annoying how the emotion just creeps up on you ! X

7 Replies

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  • I'm sorry to hear you're having a bad day it's so so hard sometimes

    . I hate waiting results it's so difficult you always end up thinking the worse. I know I always do! I really don't blame you for getting a bottle of wine !!

    I'm waiting for a date for my op it's so tough.

    I do hope you get the all clear 2morro and gives you the peace of Mind you need right now.

    Here if you need to talk Hun. Good luck with your results lovely X

  • Hey, we all have days just like today when everything just gets too much. Dont be hard on yourself!! You are only human and going through quite an ordeal! Drink that wine, have a cry and don't feel one bit guilty. Give yourself this night to just be fed up and angry at life. Tomorrow is another day and you will pick yourself up again. Thinking of you. Ive had many of these days over the last few months and know exactly how you feel xx

  • Thank you guys I actually feel a bit better now OH is home had another cry and on second glass of wine! ;) x

  • Oh I know this feeling all too well, have sobbed many a time behind the wheel!! I too suffered with short cycles, spotting from day 21/22. It's so downheartening :(. July isn't that long away now, hang in there :) xx

  • For me being in limbo land is very hard. It's ok and normal to have 'moments'.

    Glad to hear you felt better after a good cry and seeing your OH.

    We're all here for you and understand how you feel.

  • thank you. Im ringing for the blood results in my lunch break as im at work. Im going out with a friend for lunch so at least if its not good news i can cry away from people! x

  • Just to let you know results were clear so not pre menopausal, just stressed apparently?! Feel much better but anxious for next meeting x

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