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Fertility Network UK
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What to do?

Girls, my friend needs your advice. My friend is not yet registered on the forum, so I describe her question. Do you think it's more appropriate to keep their embryos in the clinic or is it better to give someone a chance to become parents? She and her husband talked about this, and they are very worried about the financial side of this issue. Since every year they need to pay a certain amount and they care about the fact that they are frozen and this can last for many years? Her husband says that they need to give someone a chance. And my friend does not want to give someone her embryos. Of course, they are not ready to make a decision now. But they decided that this situation should be resolved in the future. But they would like to hear your advice. Because it is quite an ambiguous situation. Since at first they thought they could give their embryos to other couples. But now my friend thinks that somewhere her children will grow up, and she will not even know about it. Of course, the amount that they pay the clinic every year is not very large. But nevertheless, they decided that this process can not last forever. Therefore, they will be very grateful for your answers and advice.

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thanks)

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How many embryos does she have? How many children does she have already and will she want future children? The storage charges are not so high mine only charge £100 approx per year for storage.

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Has she finished with having children?

How many do they have left?

It’s not a huge amount to store them, if they concerned about the future when they no longer need them, it’s a very personal choice to donate. I probably would not have donated before my struggles, but now that I know how difficult my journey has been I probably would rather donate than destroy but it really also depends how many they actually have and if they feel they will need it in future.

Have they looked into the costs of storage and is it definitely out of their reach?

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Maybe a compromise for both of them would be to donate them to be used for research? That way they are not “wasted” by being stored but never used but also they aren’t growing up as children she will never know. It all depends if they’re morally ok with research but by doing ivf everyone has benefitted from research in embryos so it is a way to give something back.

The other option is to use them of course.

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This is wat we decided in the end as I wanted to donate and my partner didn't i donated 8 egg but the embryos we agreed for research were both happy with that!! X

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How’s your 2ww been Cohen? Xx

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Thank u for remembering I cheated and started testing at day 7 I got a faint line I 've done 4 more since then they have all be bfp and very dark now but I still have to wait till sat to do there test they gave me! My other half won't believe me till that test!! But I don't know if this is normal but my right side is in agony I keep getting Sharpe pains!! I think it's from the egg retrieval xx

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Ahhh great news! Congratulations!xx

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Thank u I hope it's right I 've never heard of a chemical preg now I'm scared it's that lol I really wanna know about the recipient but don't get to know till it's time to have the baby if she gets that far!! Fingers crossed xx

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It’s all sounding very positive xx

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Yeah hopefully!! Good luck to u how long u down regging for this was suppose to be 2 weeks for me but after 3 weeks still hadn't so had to have tablets for 5 days on top lol xx

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How long is a piece of string?! Down regging till they say I can stop! Started on day 21 and my clinic will scan me seven days after my bleed starts, so hoping for about 2 1/2 weeks then on to stims.

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Yeah that's the thing isn't it it's all just see how it goes!! Well I'll be thinking of u and looking forwards to hearing how u get on good luck hun xx

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Same to you, hope you still have those two lines x

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I have this problem. We have 5 embies frozen although I think we will try for a sibling for our little girl, and I appreciate it might take all 5 but if we are as lucky as we were first time round I have no idea what we'll do wit the others.

Research is fine, and we are both scientists so know how important research into the area is and it's probably what we will do, but I also want to give all my embryos the chance of life. But I don't want them growing up and me not knowing if there are full biological siblings of my daughter somewhere out there.

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Hello, they already have twins and they understand that financially they will not be able to provide more children. Yes, you correctly noticed that the payment for storage is not very big. But still this uncertainty worries them a little. At first they would like to give away the embryos, but then changed their mind. But most likely, this year they are not yet determined with the decision. Because looking at my friends, I concluded that they are not very determined. But, as they overcame many obstacles on their way to the first pregnancy, it is difficult for them to make a choice. I do not know, maybe they just leave them in the clinic on storage? But it's just that it's meaningless? They also worry that the cost may increase with time.

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