Losing a twin and reality sinking in - Fertility Network UK

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Losing a twin and reality sinking in

My_Miracle_Is_Here profile image

When I finally got my BFP I didn’t fully appreciate that the journey we were on was no where near being even half done.

I was so happy seeing 2 strong heartbeats at my 6 week scan. I felt so lucky, twins were so special. But at my 8 week scan there was only one heartbeat. The other twin had died not long after my first scan.

It’s so sad losing one, and I am so thankful that the other is okay. But the reality of how easy it is for my baby to die and not even know about it until a scan makes me so sad. And the possibility that I could lose the other baby feels so real now.

After trying with 5 good quality embryos, I feel that if this doesn’t work I’m giving up. It’s just not meant to be. IVF is so incredibly difficult before even dealing with the first trimester. I feel like I’m wasting my life being miserable trying so hard for something that should be easy - it’s what my body was designed to do after all!

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My_Miracle_Is_Here
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9 Replies
Kattalex profile image
Kattalex

My heart goes to you in this difficult time. I, myself am in limbo now until next Wednesday. On our 7 week scan we had 2 heartbeats but one was not as strong so we were told to expect the smaller weaker twin not to survive. Am trying my hardest but not sure how prepared I will be for the bad news on Wednesday. I hope you can concentrate on the little one that is there... hopefully all will go well for you from now on! Happy pregnancy 🤰

E_05 profile image
E_05

So sorry for your loss but congrats on your other little one. I totally understand how your feeling, both my pregnancy’s have ended in MMC and this year we saw the heartbeat then to have nothing was beyond devastating. I would say it’s natural to be more worried but try to keep positive for the little life you have growing inside of you, try not to think about trying again or not being able to put yourself through IVF again as hopefully you won’t need to. Have you spoken to your midwife about your concerns, she may be able to support you to have a few extra scans for re assurance? I think our hormones and moods are always going to be on a roller coaster ride because of what we’ve been through, I know mine are everywhere at the moment but I hope your able to enjoy Christmas xx

My heart goes out to you the same thing happened to us ( look at my old posts) happy to say tho now 33weeks with our strong fighter xxx

I’m so sorry to hear about the loss of your twin, it’s such an anxious time. I have everything crossed for you that your other baby keeps growing strong x

Kempton profile image
Kempton

Keep positive! I was so anxious about our one little embryo but we've made it this far. Once we had the 12 week scan I was less worried, but still worried! Then after 20 weeks even less worried. The fear doesn't go away but try and have confidence.

I used to keep a journal for every time I had a negative thought. I'd write it down and then move on. I barely use it now but it felt like I was sharing my fears and that allowed me to move on from then. Maybe try that!

Manesp profile image
Manesp

My heart goes out to you! Stay positive you have come a long way in your journey. Hope your baby is a fighter. Big hugs 💚

Missy_22 profile image
Missy_22

I’m so sorry to hear this. We lost a twin last year at ten weeks and then the other died at 23 weeks. Awful time. Most twins have I think they said 95% chance of survival so we were just very unlucky.

I wish you all the best for your pregnancy. Stay strong xxx

I'm so sorry for your loss. This must be such a worrying time for you. Congratulations on your other little one though. I want use cliches such as 'relax', 'try not to worry' etc - I will just say do whatever you need to do to get through this time, and look after yourself and your little one. Big hugs xx

Fredaflintstone profile image
Fredaflintstone

Sorry to hear about your loss and wishing you all the best for the future. xxx

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