Pros of not having kids! : Ok I admit... - Fertility Network UK

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Pros of not having kids!

Saya85 profile image
13 Replies

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Ok I admit- an odd thing to post on a fertility forum but I have really started revelling in the pros of being infertile recently!

The grass isn’t always greener on the other side? Right?

I think it’s me chuckling recently at the mums having to trudge in the snow to drop their little ones off to school... or pick them up in the rain whilst I’m in bed snuggled up warm (albeit due to recovering from a laparoscopy and a cold!)

I went to the hospital for a blood test precisely just before school hometime and it was empty!! Yayyy (Gota get your kicks from somewhere)

My hubby refused to get a parrot I wanted because he said he wasn’t going to clean the poo out of the cage and that they were too noisy ... I did reply that babies were noisier and sh*t a hell of a lot more than parrots... alas he didn’t change his mind.

So yeah I don’t know if this is somewhat morbid or not but I’m going with it... footloose and fancy free ... anyone else? Anyone?... just me then?

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Saya85 profile image
Saya85
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13 Replies
louisear profile image
louisear

hi, I can relate to what you're saying. I've come to terms with the fact that I'm never going to get pregnant so instead you have to consider the pros of which there are many. It's not a worse or better life, it's just going to be different to the one I had planned and you have to grab it by the horns and make the most of the situation we find ourselves in! Good luck 🍀

Saya85 profile image
Saya85 in reply to louisear

Aww I’m sorry and happy to hear that at the same time.

I haven’t been told I’m infertile officially - but last ivf failed and were due for FET in February.

But I have Hashimoto’s thyroiditis and feel like absolute crap this year that I don’t even know if I could carry a baby ...

I knew since my teens I would have trouble conceiving so it’s not a big shock and at certain times in my life I’ve wondered if I truly want kids, that actually I would be absolutely fine not having them etc

But you don’t know if that’s just your defence mechanism preparing you for the worst.

Tbf I am generally quite pragmatic and do believe in a higher plan and purpose for everyone... so wherever this journey takes me I will grab it with both arms (if my carpal tunnel syndrome would allow) and have a few chuckles along the way!

As you said - life isn’t always good or bad or better or worse- it’s all different and all relative - you can choose how to react to it though.

I choose chocolate 😁

kumkums profile image
kumkums

It is not just you. I regularly think of the pros of not having children yet and I tell myself to enjoy every moment and when they arrive, enjoy every moment with them too. Although It might sound very insensitive to people who have had rough times in this journey but I still think once in a while think about the pros and enjoy it.

Saya85 profile image
Saya85 in reply to kumkums

Absolutely ! I often get mothers telling me it’s not all it’s cracked up to be lol - and I have watched my nephew and nieces grow to adults and it almost feels like I’ve done the whole kids thing by looking after them!

It’s a bit like marriage too- hundreds of blessings but not always better than your single life! Lol.

Enjoy whatever stage of life you’re in - we’ll all be dead anyway 😁

There’s a group on here run by fertility network for people who are at the end of their fertility journey and remaining childless, just thought I’d highlight it in case any of you want to take a look.

Saya85 profile image
Saya85 in reply to Lizzielizzielizzie

Thanks... what’s the name of it?

Lizzielizzielizzie profile image
Lizzielizzielizzie in reply to Saya85

More to life.

Saya85 profile image
Saya85 in reply to Lizzielizzielizzie

Lol great name. ThAnks

Cez81 profile image
Cez81

That post was fab. So positive for people. Males you think of it a different way. And you’re right about the grass not being greener. On another note if you want a parrot go get 1. But after experience of owning 1, I’d stick with a dog. Xxxxx

And good luck to all of you going through this journey xxxxxxx

Saya85 profile image
Saya85 in reply to Cez81

Lol glad it made someone smile.

Thanks for the advice! Choosing/having a pet seems harder work than having a baby!

Who’da thunk it?!

Peace and blessings to u xx

Cez81 profile image
Cez81

And you. Have a fab xmas and a pet-tastic new year xxxxx

KatieB84 profile image
KatieB84

Had to laugh at this. Made my morning 😂 Good luck on your journey. With a positive attitude like that I’m sure you will breeze through it xxxx

Saya85 profile image
Saya85 in reply to KatieB84

Lol I’m the most pragmatic non-mum you’ll know. I’ve spent my whole life growing up around kids and hearing all the stories and seeing all the pain of the mothers.

Having a baby is a miracle... but it ain’t always beautiful!

#rosetintedspecsoff

Hope you continue to have a great day! Xx

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