BFN

[LadyMM]

Since I started this IVF journey I felt angery

At my body .

Since we are little girls we were told that we going to be mothers no one prepared us for this . I got married at age of 40 I knew my husband a year before that would be different if I married earlier I don't think so

However I wish I knew I had blocked tubes earlier I wish I knew I would have fertility problem may be I wouldn't get married and stayed single . Now being married I long to have a baby . My faith thought me to be strong and thankful and iam thankful to so many things but wanting this made me weak It's really hard to keep being strong my poor husband feels bad when he sees me crying . I hate IVF but at the same time I need it . When this feeling stops ? When I can take this journey in a positive happy approach when I face BFN I want to smile again even if I saw BFN

[SeaChange]

LadyMM,

Firstly you are not weak. You feel sad and angry. You have emotions and you show them but that makes you strong, not weak. It’s okay to break down, being strong isn’t about not feeling bad, it’s about letting yourself feel those things and then being able to put yourself back together again (either on your own, with your husband, friends, family or support network).

My only advice about happiness is something I try to live by. Which is to never regret. You are who you are today, with all the things, people, experiences and memory’s because of your past. It may not be perfect and if you did it again with what you know now, yeah you might have done things a little differently. But you are a powerful and wonderful woman today because of your past. And trust that every decision you ever made was the best decision you could have made with the information you had at the time.

Sending lots of love and strength. Xx

[Shivvyboom79 in reply to SeaChange]

Seachange

I just want to say what a beautiful message.

😘

[LadyMM]

Thank u seaChange

You words reminded me who I am and what I achieved in my life . It's a tough experience and am going to be strong no matter what coz I am strong and am hopeful that I will get my BFP . Thank u again

[Shivvyboom79 in reply to LadyMM]

LadyMM,

All that I can say to you is stay positive and think about the end result.

I’ve just started my 1st cycle of Ivf

And I’m staying as calm as possible. I’m 38..

For some reason I feel at peace with everything

Sending you Lots of love xx

[LadyMM]

I keep praying that I reach to that peace

The acceptance and knowing that to keep trying

I don't want to give up I want to try but it's the disappointment that hurts

[Music1]

It's ok to feel angry. I feel exactly the same.

When I was younger I never wanted children because I was so career orientated. I was always told "be careful, because if you get pregnant twins run in our family". So when I turned 37 and met my oh and we both decided we would get pregnant before my 40th birthday. Had I left it too late? I figured it was more important to find the person whom I could spend the rest of my life with and bring up a family together etc. After all, you hear of loads of people these days leaving it till late.

My tubes were damaged by Endo as well. We've had 5 rounds of BFN and I'm now fast approaching 44. Someone should tell me to stop, but we've put so much into this already and it's all I've wanted since meeting him. When I was single, it was all about finding "Mr right" and then the family. Nobody prepares you for 'BFN' and the heartache that follows. Everyone else in my family has 'twins' and I'm left with nothing. I completely understand where you are coming from. I just wanted to give you a huge 'hug' and say you're not alone. Best wishes xx

[Leesara]

It’s Normal and natural to feel the way you to but try hard to be kind to yourself x