Hi is any other couple doing the ICSI procedure? We rarely drank anyway now stopped and stopped smoking yet during an examination the dr asked if I smoked I told her I used too not for ages now and she did not seem to believe me now wants to do random checks to see if I am smoking! Is this normal as I am starting to think it is personal she always seems distracted and speaks at me etc as well and disappears randomly during appointments also chats to her colleagues over my head while doing internals and I am humiliated now this smoking thing worries me as when we first began treatment i did have small level of carbon m in me from before I am upset and feel like not going back I feel she has it in for me not sure why once I asked if my man could be in room during an examination as I got upset and she tutted at me and made a pffft sound and said if you insist like I was annoying her is this normal as surely she should be more sensitive ..
ICSI: Hi is any other couple doing the... - Fertility Network UK
ICSI
I’m pretty sure it’s protocol that if you say you have quit smoking to have IVF then they do random checks to make sure you haven’t gone back to as you’re in a stressful situation which could make you go back to old habits? X
Yeah I heard that too ut it just feels like she is being picky I have no reason to worry as I don't smoke but she seems very accusatory maybe it is just my hormones as my oh doesn't feel the same he thinks she is ok ty for the reply I will try to keep in mind it just has to be done even if she is a pain x
My husband and I were checked before we could start ours. We had to do a breath test but neither of us have ever smoked. A friend of mine who was due to start treatment, her partner was a smoker and he had to be clear for 3 months before they were able to start treatment x
Ty we both stopped over 6 months ago so should be fine we had a first breath test and the nurse was happy enough but said maybe their would be more random ones which is fine I just got a feeling the Dr did not believe we had genuinly quit x
This is so odd, if I was you I would ask to see another doctor, you should never made to feel humiliated especially by someone who is meant to be caring for you!! I’m also not sure about this smoking thing, I would see if it is within the clinics guidelines that they can randomly check. I would then go and make a complaint to whoever is in charge of patient care. IVF is bloody hard without any extra dramas, and your Doctor should be more than aware of this xx
We saw the Councillor and she said we were not the only cople to express discontent at this particular ladies as she put it, bed side manner, I wasin tears once and she asked why the nurse said I think she is in pain and she replied well she knows this won't be easy, I honestly thought I was imagining it or being over sensitive so I started to write down each nit picky or off thing she said and it is for bad reading her attitude is sour to say the least she also asked if we didn't think we were rather young to be doing treatments , I am 32 my man is 34 and a half and we have been ttc for years this is our second attempt 1st was ivf with a different dr that never worked out this is the furthest we have gotten with treatment I start Down Regulating soon and this Dr we have now said to me if I am so teary now how do I expect to manage when I am full of more drugs she makes me feel stupid and naive says massive words etc and has been known to swear during examinations I feel I can't complain as she honestly seems to be against us my oh had a problem with depression before and during the welfare check paperwork side she asked how he was now he told her he had no problems was off all his medication and happy glad to be on the roll with the treatment etc and she replied people with your history hould be careful and not jump into parenting! I t was the not being able to have a family that brought his depression on bad in the first place then she asked why we never finished treatment before (5 years ago) I told her I was younger a lot more stressed and my oh and I hadn't been able to cope we almost split but we are fine now happy engaged and settled, older and wiser and ready and determined and she looked at me like I was an idot and said it's not something to take lightly yet when I got upset she said I was taking it all to rough and being over sensitive it really feels like she has a grudge on me or us my mans noticed but not with it as much as I have as he is very robust anyway I don't want to complain incase it causes a set back I was due to start down regulating last month yet he cancelled for no apparent reason the nurses etc checked up on next app and she had not even made it yet then asked for a reason for the delay and she gave no explanation said she saw so many people per day she could not remember and would check her records which all of a sudden were not updated since august september for us to which she then said a genuine error no apology, I don't know what to do 
x
sorry meant she canceled not he x
It’s great you’ve spoken to the counsellor, and by the sounds of things she’s a witch to others, but that really isn’t on, the way she’s made you feel is outrageous. Are you at a private clinic or a hospital? Xx
Hospital first round drained our funds hun so now Nhs the other staff and clinic are great it is just that one Dr mayb she is stressed etc but she needs to be nicer tbh xx
None of this sounds right at all! I am a fertility nurse and work for an amazing doctor who would never treat any of our patients like this. IVF/ICSI is stressful enough without your doctor making it worse... I know you don’t want to delay things and I totally understand that but I would ask to see a different doctor or change clinics completely, you need to feel looked after and safe while doing this to give it the best chance... I am here if you wanna chat..
Lucy xxx
I agree that it sounds like, if this round doesn’t work then you should switch clinic. And don’t be afraid to tell her if she is speaking out of order.
Is there a medical director at the clinic who you could send a copy of your notes to as part of a complaint? Or a request to switch drs?
I am going to ask about making a written complaint after I next ee her I will say calmly etc how she is making me feel and if it happens again I will make it official ty for the advise I am a lot less stressed today so calm now too but all of you have been lovely I will tell her for sure next time I can't continue to accept it as I know myself I am not imagining it or her behaviour as others have said similar etc xx
No option of Dr change as would mean more setbacks x
Ty Lucy the clinic itself is great Top class and all other staff and our 1-1 Nurse is an amazing kind woman, changing Dr now would mean to many delays for us so I have to bite my tongue but I was just so upset, to begin with I was releived it is not just me she is like this with now I am annoyed on others as well as my own behalf I may make it official if she doesn't top it but I will say again calmly etc to her next app thats her attitude etc is harsh I like to give chances even though she did cut me off each time I spoke last app.. anyway I will give her one more opertunity to stop this behaviour she should know better or change jobs if she can't be at least a bit more sensitive I have started to note each thing so it makes sense later if I do have to make it official if she is not aware and apoogises etc fine but if she is funny with me again I will complain, ty for your advise and the amaing Job you do without you guys we would never have the chance of Motherhood and I am so grateful I hate to sound picky to anyone in the profession it is just that 1 Dr who is a cold hearted..not for screen lol xx
Oh I meant to say my little eggs have gone through ICSI today! Our first round we did just ivf but fertilisation was a bit crap, so the subsequent rounds we used ICSI. Fertilisation was doubled! Xx
Oh good luck honey 
I am so nervous but it will be worth it in the end , are you ok? rest up x
Right now I’m laying in bed waiting for the call to tell me how many, if any, have fertilised, and I am absolutely terrified! I’m a nervous reck! My husband on the other hand is fast asleep next to me! He’d rather not stress until he has to!! Xxx
Breathe and be happy honey God bless you I hope your prayers are answered xx
My husband said he smoked but meant to tick he had and he had to go on 12 week nhs course although he hadn’t smoked for over a year to test his carbon levels, but luckily they put us through as there was a little wait from referral to start so time we started we had the certificate, xx
That is fortunate, we were just told 3 month wait if we r found to be smoking at random check it is fine as we havent been but my friend has never smoked and her Carbon level was pretty high she was really upset as they delayed her treatment etc never believed her at all that she had genuinly never smoked x
My hubby sometimes had high ones but he works with machinery that produces carbon.
Traffic can even give high readings,
I think long as your readings are under 6 your be fine,
Ty we did worry about this as my OH works near the train station and in the City centre loads of traffic etc x
I've never been a smoker and they still checked me to make sure I wasn't smoking so I wouldn't take it personally! It's a shame you feel the consultant isn't being sensitive though. I'm sure doing what she does she must realise how difficult infertility and ivf are and she has obviously chosen the field so try to give her the benefit of he doubt. I'm sure she doesn't mean to come across this way! Good luck x
Ty my oh tries to reassure me a lot too said maybe shes tired stressed and overworked etc but I do still think she is a bit harsh well very like I can only describe her as like a wicked headmistress or something my stomach drops like im about to be excluded every time i see her name on a letter etc she really gives me bad vibes x
Omg your doctor sounds like an absolute twirp, I understand you don’t want to make a complaint because of set backs. I really feel for you. Maybe make a complaint after the treatment. There’s no way she can speak to people like that! As for icsi, I’m starting it in December/January as my 1st round failed with ivf. Try to forget your doctors attitude and concentrate on you. Best of luck to hun xxxxx
Ty hun best of luck we were same didnt go to pkan first time around so now icsi stage I will keep you up to date about to start down regulating etc will try not to let dr get to me need to be calm maybe will complain later though I feel less emotional today lol clearer headed ty for the advise and yeah she is a twirp and more hun xxx
Hi, I've just read through what you've said here and I'm sorry you're having this experience. She's sounds quite awful to be honest! Are there other doctors at your clinic? I wonder if you can ask to see someone else instead? As we all know, this is such a sensitive and difficult process anyway without being made to feel uncomfortable by your doctor too. If I were you I would maybe try and ask for another doctor for appointments during your treatment then make a complaint afterwards. Is that possible?
Also nothing you feel along the way is wrong! There are so many ups and downs and we put bodies through so much so we're bound to feel emotional at times, don't let anyone make you feel like that is a weakness. The fact you and your OH have come through difficult times ready to fight again is amazing.
Good luck xxx
ty we are closer than ever and it is amazing The Dr is just a bitch I think like a proper ice queen but she is the best available where we are and another Dr won't be available till next year unless we change clinic which means more tests and delays so I will have to put up with her though next time I think instead of letting her upset me I will calmly state what I think of her, make sure she hears me rather than shutting me off mid sentence and see what she does about it, if nothing then I will complain later also I am going to ask for a nurse with me at all times so if I do complain it can't be twisted into anything myself or my other half have done or taken wrong as I know for sure from our counceller that she is snippy with most of her patients I do not think she has the right personality for the job not a human empathic side at all to her she is just nasty but needs must, I am calmer today lol never kow when I will be up or down but clearer headed so calmer too ty for the advise hun xx
I’ve not read all the other comments so don’t know if I am repeating others or not but this was my experience. Me and my husband both smoked but gave up for IVF they asked we said we’d given up and that was the end of it never had any kind of a test.
Your doctor sound awful and you shouldn’t have to put up with it, it’s hard and stressful enough without a nasty DR. Be strong and complain, not about the testing for smoking thing but her general attitude towards you.
Hope you get things sorted x
Ty I think I will xx
Hi. We don’t smoke and were checked twice at the beginning. But honestly this process is stressful enough without the doctor being like that. You are well within your rights to ask to see someone else, to make your life that little bit easier.
Have you got to go back and see the doctor in the near future as I rarely see the doctor and see the lovely nurses. Are they ok with you?x
The nurses and other staff are amazing I think I will ask for a nurse or chaperone to be in with us at next appointments if we can't change dr which seems almost impossible just now so need to stick with the witch will be worth her venom if this works but I do get upset so think I might complain I hate to moan or get her in trouble but I am never easily offended and I am usually the one telling folk to lighten up etc but with her it is like she hates me for no apparent reason very off and cold with me and this has been every time not 1 or 2 so now I think I need to sort it out as we have a long way to go and I am in tears even when I see her name on letters etc and know I have to see her, Thankfully the next couple of apps are with nurses so should be fine ty for reply and advise hun and best of luck with everything x
It’s absolutely wrong that you are being made to feel bad like this. I think you should ask your councillor to advise on how you could make a written complaint and draft it now so you can at least get it off your chest. Even if you just write it in a note on your phone and note down what happened when, you will feel a little better knowing you have put words to your feelings. IVF is so hard emotionally and you need to be feeling as relaxed and happy as possible. Have you thought of doing a bit of mindfulness? It might sound a bit random if you haven’t done anything like it before but there is a great app called Head Space and it’s free to download and only takes 5 mins a day. It really helped me to quieten down my constant upset thoughts during my last cycle which coincided with a few upsetting things which we were out of my control. Be kind to yourself and try to minimise her impact on your happiness. Hope this helps and the very best of luck to you.
I haven't my sister does and advised it too I might give it a go I did try a hypnosis thing but it never helped much tbh, I am open minded will try most things so I will try head space I actually forgot till you said just now I am happier today she just really gets to me and I was starting to think I was being touchy but so many said it is her attitude not my fault I beleiev now she is defo in the wrong I will ask about this at next app ty and good luck with everything xx
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