One of them days..: Awaiting IVF... - Fertility Network UK

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One of them days..

Rachwithers profile image

Awaiting IVF referral after over 2 years of trying, and after being overwhelmed by babies at parents evening and parents who don’t care for their children sufficiently (I’m a teacher), I am feeling really low. Smallest things are setting me off crying again and me and I have been so short with my husband :( any advice on how to overcome this depression cloud that seems to be looming over me due to the worry and stress of not ever having our own baby to love??

Thanks x

9 Replies

You are going to get ivf? If so you have hope. Xxxx

It’s been mentioned and after another 3 months of trying due to having only one tube then yes, ivf was discussed. I should have hope but I just feel really hopeless? I don’t know why, work is stressful at the moment and am struggling to be as strong as I need to be at home and at work x

You'll get more positive once you are actually in the ivf process. Waiting for it to happen and having surgeries to go through was so frustrating. I found out this year that both my tubes are blocked and that I have no cervix so it's been bloody tough but now I'm actually a week into ivf I feel so calm and hopeful. Xxx

I have everything crossed for you 🤞🏼♥️

Push to get started with the ivf, you will definitely feel better once you're actively doing something.

I ended up going part time and giving up my assistant headship, this gave me more time to look after myself as I go through infertility treatment. I know it's not an option for everyone but it's what I did and I cope better now x

Awe hun. So sorry you are having a bad day. This fertility lark has its ups and it's downs. Maybe you could pencil in somethings to do with your OH. A few treats whilst your in the waiting process. Maybe a few date nights? I did things like go to our fave restaurant for no reason, booked the theatre or a concert just so we had stuff to look forward too. I also joined the gym. Its so difficult. I hope you feel better soon xx

Hey, I can totally relate to what you're going through. I curse myself for feeling that way but can't deny that every time I see my Sisters not paying enough attention to their kids it's just killing me within that they have got more than one children and they could hardly care for both at a time and I'm just suffering even for my firstborn. It's very natural when you're suffering for years. I'd say take a vacation the two of you and just try be the lovers again. Hope that helps!

I know exactly how you feel as I felt the same way while we waited for referral after 2 years. And now that I'm in the middle of IVF I'm more hopeful and positive. I would use this time to channel your energy and focus on preparing your body and mind for this journey. Consider starting yoga, going for long walks or meditating or starting a gratitude journal - those are things I used to get through those low moments and I know those habits and tactics will continue to help moving forward. I also started acupuncture with an IVF specialist and found refreshed and positive after each session. There's also a good podcast episode I listened to recently about emotions and infertility:

There was also this one about different coping techniques

Hang in there... there'll be more down days but all up days. You can do this

Don't beat yourself up, those feelings are natural for anyone going through so much heartache. I am a teacher as well and I took a year out to help reduce stress levels. Going part time, if an option for you, is another great way of making sure you don't lose it completely. When faced with such challenges, it is so important to re-focus on what matters most: you and your husband. Best of luck with the rest of your journey X

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