Sister trying for a baby, pity party over here!!

[Jonesjp]

This feels really selfish and pitiful but my sister has just told me that she's going to start trying for a baby! It sounds ridiculous but I could have just burst into tears. I gave her all the folic acid/ time of ovulation advice etc as I truly wouldn't want her to be going through the same as us all and I held it together, but literally felt like I could throw up. Slightly extreme I know but I think this is because it's my little sister. I just know she'll end up falling straight away which would be grate for her but it just feels like all the shit in life lands In my direction. In the past I've had numerous ops for one thing or another (non IVF related!) as well as two replacement hips and a eye condition that is causing me to go blind (I currently only have 8 degrees of eyesight) when we started this journey we just assumed we would fall quickly, now I seriously worry that should we even manage to get pregnant I won't be able to see my baby much beyond there toddler years. My sister (thank god) has never really had anything go wrong for her and sort of floats through life, so I just know it will happen quickly and that will be such a kick in the guts! Sorry for the pity post but you guys are my go to girls, just needed to talk and get that off my chest!! Much love to you all x x

[llc1987]

I really feel for you. It's hard with anyone you know getting pregnant but when it's family you feel so conflicted don't you. We happily got a bfp last week after ivf and told our parents who have been so supportive. Low and behold, 3 days later SIL announces her pregnancy number 4. We are happy for them but they get pregnant the first time every time. The selfish parts of us think they could have waited a few more weeks, as it could have been a different outcome.

You will get there and when you get that positive nothing else in the world will matter. Stay strong and vent as much as you need to x

[Jonesjp in reply to llc1987]

Congratulations on your BFP hunny that's amazing 😀! I know it's such a conflicting feeling, I wouldn't wish this on anyone never mind my sister who I love to bits but it's just so bloody hard! Why do SIL have to steal everyone's thunder, I think it must be in there job description!! Wishing you a fantastic pregnancy x x x

[Littledee88]

22nd of June was a Thursday me & my husband went to our first hospital appointment hot bloods done and set dates for starting our ivf journey. My sister was face timing me later that night thought she was face timing me to ask how I got on at my appointment when in fact she asked me to go and get my husband and sit down so here was me and my husband sitting and on the other side was my sister and her bf telling me she was away for a scan today to check cysts and there she was 9weeks pregnant she called it a little miracle baby. I smiled and said congrats and left my husband chatting on face time to them said I had to go And check the dinner was not burning I was broken sure happy for her put said for myself at the same time. She was phoning me talking about her pregnancy all the time I could not bare it anymore and we had a bit of a fight and now not speaking. I was on ivf drugs injections and she was hormonal. We will hopefully make up soon but just now it's too hard for me. Chin up Hun sending u big 🤗. Ps I thought I was just being a bitch feeling that way but since Joining the forum I came around similar stories. Xx

[Jonesjp in reply to Littledee88]

Aw hunny that's awful, I think if any dinner had be burning I'd of thrown it out the window!! This causes so many conflicting feelings, you want to be happy for people but it can be so hard and I find myself avoiding my friends with kids which is awful but it's like self preservation!! I hope you and your sister can find a way through but I certainly understand your feelings x x x

[Littledee88 in reply to Jonesjp]

Ended in me and my husband arguing cause he had the snip then got it reversed but he has a low sperm count so I just went mad at him i know it's not his fault he wasn't to know his 1st marriage would end and remarry . The dinner never got touched was home made steak pie aswell 😂 aw the joys life can be so cruel at times xx

[Jonesjp in reply to Littledee88]

Aw wasting pie isn't good lol! 😂❤️x

[Hidden in reply to Littledee88]

no you are not being a bitch feeling like that. Of course you feel how you do. Its only natural. If you were acting on the feelings and wishing harm on people then that's being a bitch.

[Jonesjp in reply to Hidden]

Thank you hunny x x

[Bibble-2016]

Hey, it's not a pity post at all. I can relate to that awful pain of seeing women around you get pregnant easily/quickly/accidentally while for us it's this huge huge battle. It's not a pity party at all. It's one of the worst things I have ever faced. Look after yourself xx

[Jonesjp in reply to Bibble-2016]

Thank you hunny that makes me feel not so much of a witch! Feeling a bit better about it now I've slept on it, I suppose it was inevitable, but still upsetting x x x

[Leesara]

Wow, I can so relate to your post.... my sister is due in a weeks time and although delighted, it's also so hard to heard- when it seems so easy for other! And hard to be around those who are pregnant. I hope your times comes oxo

[Jonesjp in reply to Leesara]

Thanks hunny, it's not like she's even pregnant yet, but I just know it will happen in a flash! It's so frustrating, were in Wales so they make you wait another year before they will even start IVF and even then it may be moths after the 12 months is up , we joined the waiting list in April, knowing our luck she will of probably had her baby before I even get to my first injection 😩! X x

[Lynnr54]

I agree, it's so hard. My sis started trying straight after her wedding when I was waiting for my IVF to start and I was convinced she was going to fall straight away and mine was going to go wrong. Everything always seemed to go right for her too. I don't know how I'd have felt if that was the case but fast forward two years and the situation is now reversed. I got lucky and fell pregnant on my first IVF cycle and now have a 16mo whilst she is now on the IVF waiting list. I'm about to start FET to try for a second baby and feeling guilty in case that works and her IVF cycle doesn't (my cousin took 3 cycles for hers to work) as she must be feeling now how I felt 2 years ago. I think all you can do if she does fall pregnant straight away is ask her not to talk about it all the time and try and understand that whilst you're pleased for her, you're fighting your own battles and need her to be sensitive about it. When you have down days or just need a good old moan about it then we'll all be here to listen.

[Jonesjp in reply to Lynnr54]

Thanks hunny, wow you and your sister really have been on a rollercoaster!! Thus journey really is so unfair, I hope your FET and your sisters Cycle going well ❤️ x x

[Allybally81]

Its normal to feel like this, we have tried off and on for ten years now and it's so hard seeing everyone go through having their first babies, second and beyond and I'm left here with zero. I've found it difficult to handle at times, because I've always been the childless one I end up being the one to support everyone else, listen to everyone's moans from childbirth stories to how hard it is to be a mum, in not sure people even consider their audience at times. I've come to live with it over the years and you work out your own coping mechanism. I feel your pain, your not alone with that xxx

[Jonesjp in reply to Allybally81]

Thanks Hun, it's just rubbish isn't it, I think generally people just don't think! Hardly anybody knows about the IVF, I think people assume I haven't bothered having kids due to my eyesight and having to use a cane, little do they know!! However I suppose one of life simplest pleasures will be a very large glass of wine tonight just because I can 😀!! X x

[Hidden]

no its not selfish to feel like that. I think its normal and natural to feel jealous when it appears others get things easy and you don't and a little voice in you cries out why not me and it can turn to vicious hatred if its not addressed.