Work advice

[KellyMB]

Hi,

I've just gone back to work ... in a special school... I am 5 weeks pregnant after IVF.

Been in one day with the kids so far and I'm terrified of something happening at this crucial time before scan. I've been having a lot of pain in the night when I roll over (sharp pain doesn't last) on the sides of my stomach , or when I get up too quickly , bend down etc.

Clinic said it's all ok but call back if I'm not happy or don't feel right phone again... they were very supportive.

I also suffer from anxiety anyway so doesn't help.

Do you think I'm being over the top not working till scan in two weeks? I wouldn't be in bed the whole time ... I couldn't but at least I could go at my own pace ?!

Thank you

[Lou9]

I don't think you would be over the top in the slightest. It has taken you so long to get to this point that you are perfectly entitled to want to protect yourself and your baby until you get some reassurance that everything is ok (which it will be). I understand that your job can be unpredictably physical too and I know that will make you feel nervous and anxious. So my advice would be to sign off for two weeks... focus on you and your growing bump, go at your own pace and relax. Oh, and congratulations! Xx

[KellyMB in reply to Lou9]

Thank you that's very kind. I just worry too much about what people think of me . I am seeing a counsellor to help me through all this and hopefully reduce anxiety but it's so hard. Thank you for your reply x x x

[KellyMB in reply to KellyMB]

I've just seen your post about anxiety/stress. With all

Good intention we'd be at work and carry on. But this is no ordinary situation. And our whole well-being has to come first x

[Aleelilook]

Hello Kelly, I'd get signed off, work really isn't worth the stress. I'm a teacher in a secondary school and I would definitely get signed off as kids (let alone Ines with needs) are unpredictable. Take the time to relax as much as possible xx

[KellyMB in reply to Aleelilook]

Thank you for your support x

[Jaky76]

Congratulations 🎊. I work in special needs field and I would definitely say sign off as you in a school with no doubt quite afew unpredictable students.. And the early days of pregnancy really important... Don't feel bad, the school still be there and someone can cover you. Your own health is important.

Best of luck. 🍀 xxxxxx

[Hidden]

Look after yourself and do whats right for you. Do not feel guilty about getting signed off, sounds like you are struggling to rest with all the abdominal pains, so that tells me that you may not be fit enough to be working in a school anyway.

I too had shocking abdominal pains in the early months (mine were due to adhesions stretching and tearing as a result of my endo). I struggled to sleep to and was no good to anyone.

Get signed off and honestly don't feel bad about it. You've been through enough and need to give yourself priority. I am sure the school and parents would understand if they knew xxxx

[Linda78]

I would get signed off and try to relax as much as possible (I know this is easier said than done as I was a nervous wreck and still am at 27 weeks!) - have you tried hypnotherapy CDs - I found that Helen McPherson bump and zita west ones can really help just turn off some of the louder voices of anxiety in the early stages. Wishing you all the very best x

[Hidden]

Hi

I quit my job to have ivf because I couldn't cope with the stress and anxiety of both! So I don't think it is a silly idea.

One thing I am trying to be able to deal with the ivf stress and anxiety better is hypnotherapy. It can be used throughout treatment and pregnancy to keep you calm. Not sure if this is something you would consider? I'm willing to try anything at the moment!

[KellyMB in reply to Hidden]

Thank you. I am seeing a counsellor and having reflexology which I believe is helping as the tough days are no where near as frequent as the good. Just being back at work has changed the anxiety levels over night x

[Hidden in reply to KellyMB]

All good things. Today I am having reiki, reflexology and Indian head massage! Trying everything!

[TeamMonkey]

I think you have to do what feels right. But just to offer some perspective, this is my second baby and I now have a toddler to look after and moved house around your stage and have lifted regularly my 13kg toddler. The pains are your uterus expanding etc. Like I say if you feel better stay home but I think you'd be perfectly safe either way baby is tucked away at this stage xx

[emmab178]

I had to inform my employer at 6 weeks because I visit chemical sites as my job. It's your employers responsibility to do a risk assessment and keep you and the bean safe. If they can put you on modified work to avoid the physical work then they have to do that. My maternity policy says if they can't find alternative work then they would have to put me on paid leave the whole time.

Some maternity policies state that if risks are significant before pregnancy and you are planning pregnancy then employers also have to protect you and do a proper risk assessment at that point aswell.

I've had those blooming pains the whole way since the 2ww. Putting it down to round ligament pain. If I sneeze laying down it feels like someone's stabbed me there. Turning over at night is no fun.

[Lynnr54]

I agree with the other ladies - do what you feel comfortable with. You've come so far. Maybe you could ask them if there are any non-child facing roles you could do for a while? In terms of the pains, it might be ligaments stretching but at your stage, if you had a fresh transfer then it might also be your ovaries recovering from egg collection. I had lots of sharp pains and when I had my 6 week scan my ovaries were the same size as baby and nurse said it's quite common for it to take time for them to shrink back to normal size and it can be painful.

[sk85]

Firstly, congratulations on your GBP! I don't think your being over the top at all. Your health comes first and as precious as any pregnancy is I feel IVF pregnancies are just that bit more precious. I have my injection teach next Wednesday and have already told my manager that I will be off for my 2ww (if I get to that bit) as I work in a complaints department. I'm even ok with taking more time off if I have to as it's my only NHS attempt so I'll be doing everything I possibly can. Do whats right for you. All the best x