Any advice

[Sparky235]

My fiancee are having difficulty conceiving at the right time. He feels there is too much pressure and he is sometimes not able to ejaculate. I don't know what to do to get out of this mind set. I have tried peeing on the sticks to pin point my most fertile days but they do not work for me. We are going to see an IVF clinic soon. Any advice would be greatly appreciated

[Lilli79]

Hi Sparky235 oh yeah definitely been there! I'm sure most ladies on here would have had this before. All I can say is that if you've been trying for a long time and nothing has happened then intervention might be required eg. Ivf. When you get to this stage you kind of relax a bit. Our sex was very chore like before and then when we started doing investigations etc. we felt we were doing something so it became a lot more enjoyable (like when we're first married hurrah!!). My husband also complained about being pressured, especially with me using those sticks, which didn't work for me either BTW. If anything a lot of couples say that ivf really brings them closer together, it's a bond that not many couples can have. Hope it all works out soon, keep chatting about it. It's good to get your thoughts clear with each other xx

[Sparky235 in reply to Lilli79]

Hi Lilli79, Thanks for your advice. Have you started IVF? How is it going. We have been trying for a while - I am 38 and nothing has happened. I am beginning to stress as I can't even get the sticks to give me a positive day to conceive. I have had all the blood tests etc and there is nothing wrong. So I don't know what is up.

[Lilli79 in reply to Sparky235]

Hi Sparky235 yeah we've been trying for 4 years, unexplained fertility nothing wrong with either of us. I am 37, just completed first round of icsi so currently in the 2WW! 😯 x

[Sparky235 in reply to Lilli79]

I really hope it goes well. I will have my fingers crossed for you.

[Sparky235 in reply to Lilli79]

Hi Lilli79, Thanks for your advice. Have you started IVF? How is it going. We have been trying for a while - I am 38 and nothing has happened. I am beginning to stress as I can't even get the sticks to give me a positive day to conceive. I have had all the blood tests etc and there is nothing wrong. So I don't know what is up.

Reply

[DianeArnold Partner Nurse Fertility Network UK]

Hi Sparky235. It is good to see that you are to have an appointment with a fertility specialist soon, and I do hope they come up with some answers and definite treatment for you both. Meanwhile, it might be an idea to seek some counselling, so that you can talk this over with someone on neutral ground?? The clinic should be able to offer you this, so do take up the offer. Good luck! Diane

[Sparky235 in reply to DianeArnold]

That sounds like a good idea. I am looking forward to going to the clinic to see what they will suggest as we have both had all the tests done and there does not seem to be anything wrong with either of us. Hope you are well.

[Alice_W123]

Hello.

Maybe you should go first to the urologist?

So he can say more about reason of the problem.

If there only psychological problem and you won`t need an ivf or there something with his physical body so you`ll visit surgeon next.

Still, without ivf.

P.S.: if you really wish to conceive asap you can consider about IUI or even ICSI (they will get his sperm directly from "bags").

[Sparky235 in reply to Alice_W123]

Thanks for the advice!

[Mrsjj]

We forgot sometimes that partners struggle with this process too and my husband definately at times would be anti sex if he felt like I was asking him to 'perform' as much as we were both desperate for a baby. We were trying for over 4 years and it did become a chore at times which wasn't what either of us wanted. I took to not telling him when it was time and trying to forget myself as the brain has a lot to do with this process too. Regular sex is as important as doing it on the right day have you read up on sperm cycles etc fertility really is a mine field when you start looking and def a miracle for us all when we are successful. Talk to each other, you said fiancée so have you got a wedding to plan etc x

[Hidden]

Hello! We have been trying for 2 years and had no success. We went to a clinic for a consultation and consultants said to stop testing and just relax and go on holiday and forget about it for 6 months and then if it doesn't happen we'll start IVF. It hasn't worked yet but we are much more relaxed now and have got back to enjoying sex again and that is really important. X