Hi Ladies, been for transfer this morning. Unfortunately the 2 eight cells have not reached blastocyst stage but they transferred them anyway otherwise they would have to just throw them away. I don't have much hope at all now for this 2ww. So disappointed. Hubby has just told me that my negativity is getting him down. I now feel like a crap wife as well as a crap woman who can't seem to do what most women can do.
Oh and to top it off I've got to go to work and do Street dancing with my class of 6-7 year olds. At least that may raise a smile.
#youknowwherethepitypartyisat.
Xxx
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_MrsC
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They wouldn't transfer them at all if there was no hope. They are now in the very best space for them. But I get while you feel down.
You are not a crap wife or woman because of this. You are entitled to feel down, have a pity party and not to be Ms Perfect right now. You would be superhuman if you were!
But I also get while you feel that way - all of this takes a toll on you. On your career, relationship, friendships, life generally ... it is so hard. But you are still going. You are still putting one foot in front of the other. Not just that, you are street dancing with 6-7 year olds! That's pretty amazing. And even with all you are going through you are still offering support to people (including me!) here. That is also incredible and makes me think that not only are you not at all crap but that you must be pretty terrific. X
Aww totally agree with this reply, don't ever put yourself down mrs c you are obviously a very nice, thoughtful person to even write this! Keep positive xxx
I agree with London that they wouldn't transfer them if no point so try and stay positive.
My hubby says the same about my negativity so you're not alone but they just struggle to understand and deal with things differently x
Sadly, perfect hatching blasts fail all the time and the supposedly not-so-great embryos have resulted in bouncing healthy babies. There are no hard and fast rules in this game, so chin up...your chances are as good as any!!
And you are NOT a crap anything! You are intrepid. You have determination. You are pursuing your dreams...no matter how hard! This makes you someone to respect and admire...remember that xxx
All the best for the lunacy that is the 2ww. You've got this!
Please don't give hope already - I've had 4 blastocyst transferred and all unsuccessful yet heard success stories from not to so good embryos. There back where they belong now and just need to make themselves comfy!
You are definitely not a crap wife or women, as much as husbands try to understand and are also going through this journey they just don't quite get how hard it is for us women after all it's not their bodies that have been pumped full of hormones. Hope you enjoyed your street dancing! X
Thanks. You're very sweet. I know but it's so hard not to blame yourself isn't it? Street dancing was fun thanks and took my mind of off it for a while. xxx
Yeah we're all guilty of blaming ourselves but it's definitely not our fault. I try to believe that for whatever reason my husband and I were dealt this rubbish hand cause we're strong enough to get through it together - I know many a couple that aren't. Oh good, wishing you lots of luck for your 2ww xx
I second all the other ladies. I've had a D3 transfer of some not top quality embies and got a positive result. They are totally right about the variability of quality vs outcome.
Your negativity is totally understandable. Both my partner and I had a major downer when we found out we only had 2 half decent embryos out of the original 13 eggs. I'm sorry your husband was not supportive with your current feelings. He's probably struggling with not being able to fix anything. Most men like to "fix" and where they can't they get horribly frustrated. Go easy on your husband but most of all yourself. This process has a habit of stealing self confidence and self worth but it is exactly as the others have said. We are the strongest, bravest women there are to face such a battle and keep fighting without giving up!
Working with kids in the midst of all this treatment is bloody tough too. I work in a children's hospital so I totally empathise. Please don't bounce around too much though xxxx
Thank you. You're absolutely right. I need to just crack on with the 2ww and have a little faith.
Hubby and I made up within 5 minutes of my post. I think he was just frustrated and wants to believe it may work. He's been lovely and cooked me dinner this evening.
I didn't bounce too much. Hopefully they'll still be ok. xxx
Keeping my fingers crossed for your two embies - just think, they have already surpassed your expectations for them (fertilised, continued to day 5), they may continue to surpass your expectations. There are no certainties in this game and as others have said, we all know of stories where top grade didn't make it and lower grade did. I hope you can have some time to relax this evening. You have had a tough few days. I found I couldn't make myself feel positive in my two week wait so just had to work on a state of 'maybe' which I felt was better than what I often wanted to think which was negative. Good luck and hope your husband is kinder to you tonight. Sending a virtual hug and positive vibes xxx
Thank you. Your post made me really reflect and I am feeling a bit better now. I think I will take your advice on board. Hubby has been very kind this evening. He is generally very lovely. x
Oh hun - don't be down. If they didn't want to go back in then they wouldn't have lasted to day 5 for you! Sounds like they are little fighters, so I am sure they'll stick! Men are funny wee beasties at the best of times.... my DH would say something similar to me and it would totally be because he can't fix it and wants me to be positive and happy as much as possible. Hope you enjoyed the street dance with your class - if anything is going to break up a pity party, then it's got to be that!😝 Sending you a massive hug and as much positivity as I can! xxx
Thanks Hun. The street dance definitely lifted my mood. Yes men are a funny bunch. They try so hard and it's not their fault they don't really get it. DH has been lovely since and we're back to being bffs. Thanks so much for your positivity. I'm really grateful. xxx
I'm so sorry, I'm more sorry for what your hubby said to you. It's not your fault. You can't help the way you feel. I will keep everything crossed for you xx 🤞
Oh Mrs C I am so sorry to hear that you have had to go through this today 😟 It's difficult for the other halves to understand how it feels for the women, maybe he just wants you to try and be positive to build up the hopes but it's so easier said than done isn't it. We can't help but feel negative when we hear the news we wasn't expecting.
Sending you big hugs and I've got everything crossed for your 2 embie miracles 🌈🍀 xxx
Thank you so much. You're absolutely right about about it being hard for them. I know it's hard because I'm not much fun at the moment. Thanks for your good wishes. x
I'm sorry you've had such a rough day. My OH told me only today that I'm too negative & that everything will be ok. He might be right but he also needs to be realistic. Everyone is allowed to be down, especially after all you've been through. Hopefully your day got better. Sending best wishes & good luck xx
Thank you. Yes it did get better. My kids at work made me laugh and DH cooked me dinner. He was very sweet actually. The disappointments effect both of us. He just reacts to bad news in a different way from me. I think that's quite common for men. I hope your day got better too. xxx
Definitely echo what's been said above - heard of so many success stories with less than perfect embryo's. Seems no reason or rhyme to this process sometimes! Best of luck to you xxx
Good luck Mrs C. Sounds like a tough day but your little embies are on board now and you and hubby have made up and it's onwards and upwards from here. Wishing you all the very best and sending you lots of hugs. Will be thinking of you xx
Us women do beat ourselves up but you must remember it's nothing to do with you being crap. Life just sometimes makes some of do things the hard way. You have always given me great advice to anything I have posted so now it's my turn to return the favour by saying keep strong and positive. They wouldn't have transferred them if they didn't think you had a chance so keep being strong and give your little embryos all the love they need and remember to not beat yourself up.
I totally understand why you feel the way you do and have felt the same many times during this ivf game. It seems so easy for some people and feels horrible that we have to go through this to get what we want. Me and hubby never seem to feel positive or negative at the same time which is always difficult, just be strong for each other. You will get there, I am sure of it!!! Your little bundle of cells stand a much better chance of growing inside you where they are meant to be. Lots of positive hugs coming your way for you and your soon to be blastocysts xxx
No !!! Don't you dare say that ! You are amazing! You have been to hell and back to create a baby for u both. This is not on you,you're allowed to be sad. It's happening to u both but you feel it more. It's not over yet though, think as positive as you can, people do have success stories like this. Besides we promised... we will meet next summer with our babies 😘 keep hoping and praying ( I will for u ) x
Thank you. I do feel better after a mega sleep. I got home from work yesterday and looked in the mirror. I have never seen bags under my eyes like that before. They were like suitcases! Going to bed at 8:30 helped I think and I've woken this morning feeling less zombie like. xxx
Glad that you're feeling a wee bit better after a sleep! When we had a chat about our grading of embies the embryologist just bascially said not to get too hung up on gradings. Its only a grading method and just because they are top grade certainly doesnt equal pregnancy. He said he has seen a fair few women having poorer graded embryos back as that was all the they had and they had babies when if you go by grading they shouldnt have made it so there's always a luck element in there too! Wishing you lots of luck, there's always a chance if you've gotten to transfer!xx
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good luck in the 2ww x
Hopeful 🙏
No hope 
How much exercise is too much during FET?
