Sometimes I wonder how much more can I take?!

[lau_har1]

So.. after the getting a natural BFP last week, I am now having another mc. I woke up this morning with very heavy bleeding with clots and strong lower back pain.

This is my 3rd mc since first falling pregnant last July. I just don't know how much more I can take, the emotional as well as the physical effect really takes its toll.

My partner and my mum (they're the only two that knew I was pregnant) are so supportive. They don't really know what to say because they know nothing they can say will make it any easier and they're both just trying to help me think of the positives. Like, at least I am falling (it's just keeping a baby that seems to be a problem) and that now this is my 3rd they should do tests before actually starting the IVF process. I know all of this is true and I'm really trying to think like that, but at the same time the selfish part of me keeps getting upset and thinking 'why do we deserve this?'. My partner is a London Black cab driver, I work in the NHS, we're both young and honest people so why does it feel like we have constantly got bad luck.

Think I need this weekend of feeling sorry for myself, and for my partner, and then just try and be positive again. Just wonder how much more positivity I have left in me?

[misswinky34]

I'm so sorry sweetheart. ☹❤❤❤❤

[-noodles-]

oh darling - i am so very sorry you are going through this. i pray this morning isn't what you think it is. can you be certain?

you don't deserve this, none of us do, for me that's the cruelest part of this affliction. we only want what everyone else has.

please rest today & be kind to yourself. the ladies here are behind you 100%

sending big hugs x

[E_05]

I am so sorry to read this, I really thought this time would be it for you.

Take the time you need to grieve for your baby, it really isn't fair and you don't deserve this again..none of us do.

Definitely use the weekend to rest and look after each other.

We're all here for you x

[Tw1986]

Aw I'm so sorry to here this hun, you seem like a lovely person and deserve this to work, nothing anyone will say will make you feel any better but sending bugs hugs your way xxx

[Jonesjp]

Aw hunny my heart breaks for you reading this, I'm so sorry for your loss. Infertility is so bloody cruel and senseless. You take care or yourself and take all the time you need to grieve x x x

[Alice_W123]

So sorry for you.

It should be terrible to go through it three times.

It`d be better to see a doc (RE) so he can tell you more about your case.

Sometimes even healthy women have problems with own ideal eggs.

You can try non traditional way (endo scratch, massage, herbal therapy) or egg donation.

[Hidden]

My friend was go My through the same thing last year lost about 3 back to back done tests and found it to be low prostosterone she is now 5-6 months after they gave her extra x

[Lucylu_88]

So sorry to hear all you've been through. It is incredibly hard to remain positive.

Sending lots of love and strength

xx

[jenny34]

I'm so so sorry. And you are absolutely NOT being selfish by getting upset and asking "why do we deserve this". That is perfectly understandable given everything you have been through. I'm so glad partner and mum are supportive. Let them look after you and allow yourself time to grieve. Sending love xxxxxx

[lau_har1]

Thank you lovely ladies for your replies. I've spent the last two days with my lovely partner at home, going for walks and just being here for each other. Hopefully they will do some tests before starting the IVF process x