No one understands

Haven't posted on here for a while I'm going through my 3 rd and final cycle for Ivf I work full time I have started my tablets and generally I have been feeling exhausted run down, I had a day off sick yesterday work have been fine about my time off for last cycles but I feel my colleagues don't understand my situation, I had a week off after ivf failed end of last year hardly anybody got in touch with me to see how I was I was a mess I don't get paid for being off sick so it's not like I can get a few weeks off. My managers are being supportive it's just some of my colleagues are quite immature. My husband and close friends have been great, I just wish my work colleagues were a bit more understanding I work with all girls too hate it atm it's so hard. Or am I just being daft??

11 Replies

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  • You have a lot of support from those that matter. Some colleagues may just not know what to say but really do empathise inside. Some colleagues may not be able to fully relate or understand what the process is like so choose not to say anything. The important thing is that it sounds like your closest loved ones are there for you and your managers are being supportive which is a god send, so instead of focusing on the people that don't seem supportive, just get your head down at work and be drawn to those that do understand and do support you. There's no point yearning support from people who don't have the capacity to give it, so seek it from those that do and let your emotions out when you get home. Put yourself first and do something special for yourself each day even if it's five minutes of peace with a cup of tea or a nice bath or a cuddle with your partner. You can do this! And we are all here xxx

  • Thanks that's means a lot I do need to start putting my self first I'm just struggling working full time and doing last cycle if I need anymore time off I will take it my health is more important xx

  • Scarlett is right for sure. When it matters the ones you want to hold you will.

    Good luck for this cycle; try and plan some nice restful time and enjoyable things to do this weekend xx

  • Thank you I'm feeling a bit sorry for myself atm prob just hormones etc I'm back in work today can't say I'm

    Looking forward to it I'm just going to get my head down and get on with it x

  • Only three days to go. Then when you get home, only two. You can do this! And as hard as it is... those hormones are good... they're just not very friendly! xx

  • Thank you xxx

  • Good morning! Firstly I want to wish to the best of luck with your cycle, we are heading into our final cycle too in July and to be honest I'm not really looking forward to it!

    Secondly, I just wanted to give you a gently and friendly nudge to say lots of people do understand how you are feeling however people that aren't following the same path as you can sympathise but not empathise with you.

    Scarlett13 is right that the people that matter are supporting you. Often when people don't know what to say or avoid awkward conversations to avoid upsetting you, they most probably do realise that you are feeling this way but don't know how to support you. If this is your last cycle you are bound to be feeling tense, lean on the people you can rely on, work is work, home is your sanctuary xxx

  • Thank you x

  • The very best of luck to you, I truly hope that this is your time xxx

  • It's hard at work - I think people just don't know what to say to you! I actually used work as a distraction - I talked plenty about our failed IVF to close family but enjoyed going to work to take my mind off it.

  • I understand that taking into account the fact that human being tends to be highly social .. the way people treat you affects you deeply .. be it positive or negative.. But try to learn to sift them through and pay attention only to those that are positive.. Besides no matter whether you have your own eggs involved in the process or have your ivf with donor eggs it takes too much nerves and strength to go through it.. So try to really switch to something else and have a quality rest between the cycles.. maybe try a bit longer than those 3 months that are generally recommended.. At least that is what works for me in that situation.. and gave me enough strength to start the ball rolling again.. luckily with a good clinic in Ukraine

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