First post here. :3

Hello! I am new here! :) Hopefully, this is going to be a new start of my life. Because this is such a new thing to me - to start a blog here, to start posting here. I have here thought that I would be one of those who're as open about such things as infertility issues as all of you are. I am working on it and trying really hard to cope, to deal with the same sh*t you all deal with too.

Do not know really what to write more. But I guess we all are in the same boat and it is not really necessary to share this right away. Honestly, I know so little about all of this and I feel like I am a primary school student, like I am a baby. there're so many nuances to fertility treatment, there are so many types of it... I am surprised really. earlier whenever I thought about infertility and how other people cope with it and what they actually do to make things better, I thought of all of them going for surrogacy as I was ignorant back then. Now I am better. But honestly I know only what I was told and what drs advised me directly.... and I am scared because there are so many layers....

Anyways! Hope you all are doing great and wishing you the best of luck!

26 Replies

  • Hello lovely lady

    I'm new to this too and my knowledge of this is quite poor too. No where explains like Diane just has to me exactly what IVF involves. I'm sitting on the fence with IVF not sure I'm brave enough as some of these super Woman on here xxx

  • Same here

    Don't know if I even have the strength to step it up and face it but I am doing it anyways. And I guess we all are the same. we all think that we are incapable of doing it, of undergoing ivf or surrogacy's stuff but we do that. in the end, we have a lot of fears and struggles but look at all those brave women who dealt with something that awful as infertility and now they have kids! such an inspiration for me personally


    PS I am sure that we’ll get there eventually. Like no one had perfect knowledge of ivf treatments and surrogacy before except for doctors I guess. Like all of them who have started their programs were like us at the very beginning and yet they can now give proper advice and help us out whenever we need it.

  • Hi kweenoflove. Just wanted to wish you well with your journey, with whatever treatment cycle you have been prescribed - and for success. I suppose as a general rule we are guided by our doctors and need to trust in what they advise is the best course of action for us. Maybe seek some counselling at your clinic along the way, to give you a chance to voice all your fears. Good luck! Diane

  • Thank you very much! This means a lot for me!

    Oh that's a very useful advice - about counseling. Like I mean, I haven't thought about it at all but I guess having someone to talk to about everything you thought and felt is great...

    I am with you on this. I am sure that there's no success without total trust to your dr.

    Plus, how can I do something on my own if I totally depend on my dr and on a specialist who's going to be consulting me all the time I am in the program. I am afraid though a bit

    just a bit haha

  • Good luck hun! I do not know either what your prescribed treatment will be or is right now but I hope that you listen to the advice your dr gives you and follow it as it is vital. And no matter what you read on the Internet it may seem helpful but as everyone's different and there may be multiple nuances to your own infertility so it is not smart to ignore the words of the professional who knows your body and can judge its state objectively.

    I am saying that just in case. I've met some women who've been really confident in themselves and decided that drs words did not deserve their attention.

    Anyways good luck :)

  • Thanks a lot, I know that it is definitely not a smart move to ignore the advice of the specialist so I am not even trying to do that and as I have said I have no real knowledge of art stuff whatsoever except for my own issues that are really common and easy to grasp. that's why I do not see how it is ok to think that I know better.

    thank you a lot!

    How are you btw?? :) Did you have any updates? Are your babies (right?) doing fine?

  • Oh I am fine :) Yes, my surrogate mother is pregnant with twins, we're past 16 weeks so we just have to sit here and wait till our SM is in the maternity house and ready to give birth. We're very nervous though. trying to figure out what kind of a room we want them to have and planning the life post surrogacy program. as we're having twins we are not opting for another surrogacy program as we were before. So, yeah, I guess, the moment we're home with our bbs we're finished with all that jazz :D

  • That's amazing? Are they boys or girls, or a boy and a girl?? I am so happy for you!

    wait, you won't be meeting with her till she's delivering? Why?

    Oh, this must be very exciting - to plan your life after surrogacy program! to plan your babies life and settling down after so much stress and changes, I totally understand you, this is like my dream too haha

  • I was told that it's two boys! :)

    oh well as I am participating in the surrogacy program I have to follow some rules that include not being able to see your SM that often but I have been receiving her updates every single month and I have seen her 2 times already and we've had a connection I believe, it was awesome. she seemed to be very happy and told us everything about her life and her own kids and that was amazing, she said that her daughter is a very good student and I guessed that she is a very good mother and have stopped worrying at all. :)

    Oh it is exciting but it is very hard, we're very lucky to have chosen the clinic with stable and fixed prices like we're paying only one sum divided into different payments. that allows us to leave some money for the future of our kids

  • 2 boys! Congratulations! Best wishes for them!

    Oh well, did not know about all those rules and restrictions, I wonder what your surrogate mother thinks about all of that... How did you even go through all of those?? Like wasn't it hard to wait till it is time to see your surrogate mother? and you have seen her only 2 times? well, I think that it is very important to form a bond with her. that's really vital for the babies.

    hm... yes, that's great, but how much exactly are you paying?

  • Thank you! Yes, there are a lot of them, it is due to the risks stress can bring to a pregnancy and your surrogate mother just needs some time to devote to herself and her family and maybe our interactions could be very damaging to her psychic health.. I think.

    50k euros

  • Welcome here!!! I wish you to find the best treatment for you. You will need strength and self possession to fight with all the intercurrences! And of course now you have us. We will share your grief or happiness!

    I wish to see your post where you will share with us the picture of your newborn baby! meanwhile, prepare yourself for the journey! Good luck xxx

  • Thank you!!! My treatment is going to be ivf. Unfortunately, I was not that smart to start ttcing before and we have wasted quite some time on trying to make a miracle but it turns out that I am incapable of getting pregnant all those hormone levels show the sad truth. my husband, however, is completely fine. he is very healthy and luckily our baby will have his genes :)

    Thank you again and I hope we will all share my happiness bc there is too much sadness in this world...

    PS do you think that it is ok to share the pic of your baby on the Internet?? just asking.

  • Good luck with your treatment and welcome to the forum!!

    Let your treatment be a success and be sure that we are going to be very pleased to read your happy updates throughout the treatment :3

    PS Just trust your dr and follow his advice if you are not confident in yourself enough. And if anything you can come here and ask us about anything you’re interested in!

  • Thank you so much! Oh that's so sweet of you! Hopefully you are lucky too and have a good life!

    Yeah, basically that's what I am going to be doing these months. :)

    Just a bit worried because I am only starting the treatment and I am very new to this… Like very. And I do not want to be lied to by the doctors I know that some clinics even in the US are not that honest to their clients because they are afraid of losing them. That’s why I am trying with this agency that might help me with figuring out if the drs are honest enough with me. :)

  • Oh I know there is so much to look up and to check and if this agency has is reputable I think that you may totally check your clinic by asking them to confirm it is good.

    I haven't done anything of that kind and I was really lucky with my clinic of choice. But it is better to have some help!

    PS you can ask us, maybe someone knows about your clinic on the forum?

  • Well, I have asked them to do so but to be quite honest I was told that this is kind fo stupid to do when you've chosen the clinic and you should not like shift to something else right before your first consultation or after it but I think that this is my right to not want to stick with a clinic or something.

    I have met here a few people who've been to the clinic I am opting for so I guess it is a solution for people like me

    Anyways thank you so much, hun!

  • This is by no means stupid! This is your right, your choice! Isn't this forum a support community, wasn't it made for others to share advice and support each other? Why then there are people who allow them to say something of this sort? This is why I hate talking about infertility with those who do not understand a single thing about it because those people are very ignorant in some way. When you are like saying that you might as well opt to go to Ukraine, abroad, at last, they make these huge eyes and shake their heads in disbelief as if other countries do not exist and you are risking your life just because you acknowledge other clinics except for those that are popular in your own country.

  • Thank you for encouraging me following my proper path and doing what I think is right! Even though I am not young and have been through a lot sometimes it is just so hard to feel confident and insecurity strikes again in those moments when you really do not know much about what you are doing. When you know exactly what you want and kind of can picture your means of how to achieve what you actually want it is a lot easier to just stick to your own things rather than listening to what others have to say..

    Thank you again!


  • Think about how far you have come and what is lying before you, what future is destined for you. And stay positive, even if you are experiencing a lot of downs there is still hope and the high possibility of you getting up. do not forget that. being nervous is okay and searching for advice is okay too. You are not the only one with such issues and you'll not be going to stay the last one either. You may know so little about what is the perfect way to deal with your situation but there are plenty of people who do not want to keep silence and want to actually change the world and sometimes you can achieve that by just helping another human being figure something out!

  • Thank you for such a supportive message, it is definitely what I have been waiting for and it is incredible how all of the people here on the forum can make you feel better! X)

    Did I already mention that I have signed with the clinic? It took me so long, that happy family organization did help me a lot and it allowed me to be more confident in my own decisions,

    so we're starting ivf treatment in Ukraine. we are full of hopes and ready to learn new things :)

    PS we have decided on following egg donation but I have read that you can also use your own eggs if the drs manage to collect some and they are of a good quality.

  • Oh really? Sorry I must have missed it but anyways, congratulations! It was fast really! But anyways, did you sign with the clinic you were talking about or maybe this organization advised you on something new? :)

    Well, I think that there is an option in the world - you can potentially use donor's and your own eggs in one round. but I do not know how to view this. you know. whether it is moral or not so ok...

    But haven't you talked about this with your clinic?

  • Yes, I have been thinking of signing with one particular clinic and my husband just said that we could check it just in case so I have been researching clinics or agencies that give that kind of advice and later on we have found happy family.

    well, they have told us that there's nothing to be worried about and the clinic is very reputable and has a lot of great reviews. :)

    I haven't asked my manager yet and I think that this is too late. I suppose that we will have to either freeze the eggs collected from our donor or go for egg donation without starting my own stimulation. I was given a set of medications and the protocol but it was made for endometrial stimulation. in case I want to change the stimulation I would have to buy the meds here and later I would be receiving the refund.

    I think that I may send my manager an email and if this round does not work out we may change our goal a bit :)

  • Do not think that it is too late but rather prove that it is not. maybe you still can make it? However, yes, I can agree that you would have to undergo more strict examination just to determine whether you can produce good quality egg cells or not. :) But ask your manager!

    You are being too pessimistic or not, too optimistic in your pessimism. because you should know that your treatment is going to be successful not only because it is egg donation but also because if you keep your spirits high you will be bragging about your bfp here and no one will be judging you as it is the best kind of it! :)

  • This was kind of meta I guess haha

    well, I am being more cheerful than before these days. I do not want to be bragging about anything, however, I think that updating on your positive results is not bragging at all it is like showing that all of your treatments and nerves were wasted for something. that you have achieved what you've been dreaming of all of your life and this is amazing!

    But even though I am full of good thoughts right now I am not sure whether everything will work out or not...

  • That's amazing that you feel more cheerful these days! Let us know if you have any updates! :)

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