Right so I'm back...

[kelsbels88]

Hello lovely ladies (and gents),

I am back after a few weeks break...

Apologies in advance for the long post..

I am feeling a little more positive although am now back in my two week wait 🙈 I am hoping as that is all I can do. It is so hard. I really feel for everyone on here who is also finding this journey such a challenge with its many obstacles.

For anyone who doesn't know we do not qualify for any treatment or help due to my age so are still trying naturally. I believe I have (from what I've read) secondary infertility. The drs say there is nothing wrong with me physically and all the blood tests and the ultrasound they have done all came back clear however it hasn't happened for us. We also had the added stress of being told DH was all clear and then 2wks later finding out he needed to be retested with no explanation.

I have so much love and respect for all of you who are going through IVF, IUI, ICSI etc etc as I don't know how I would deal with it all.

It gives me such hope seeing all you lovely ladies reaching your milestone scans and getting your BFPs. I know in my heart that one day I will be called mummy but I just have to learn to deal with the emotional side of this journey until I get there.

I want to thank everyone for all the kind wishes and support 💕

So any tips for the next two weeks to save me going stir crazy??

Kelly xx

[Lou9]

Welcome back kelsbels88 . I don't have any particular words of wisdom but having been through countless twws too some of my go to distractions are a new boxset or revisiting a favourite, a good book if you're a fan of reading (I have a few good recommendations if you're looking for any!), walks in the fresh air, light yoga, mindfulness/meditation apps, a bit of shopping (treat yourself), and maybe book something to look forward to like a spa or a nice treatment. Keeping yourself busy is key I think, otherwise you'll go stir crazy - well I do anyway! Wishing you lots and lots of luck! Xx

[kelsbels88 in reply to Lou9]

Thank you 😊

For me this is the worst bit the not knowing if you did everything right this time.

I am a reader and have a few in my iBooks collection and have been looking to get into a box set to keep me busy. I also make my own cards so that will hopefully help too especially as my favourite time of yr (the dreaded C word) is just around the corner. 😝

Thank you for the reply and when I've finished my reading list I may take you up on your recommendations 😂

Xxx

[Lou9 in reply to kelsbels88]

The dreaded C word is my absolute favourite too. What a great hobby to have, wish I was crafty as sounds fun!

I am sure you have done everything you can, unfortunately life can be very unfair and this journey is a very difficult one. At my lowest points I find it hard to see beyond the big grey infertility cloud. But when I'm feeling more positive, I think to myself that one day in the future I will look back on this time and it will all make sense. If only there was a crystal ball to let us know the pain and worry will end. The not knowing, as you say, is the hardest. Sending you strength and positivity (and wishing a very speedy tww for you). Xx

[C_L_A_I_R_E]

Lou9 I would love to hear your reading list! I need a new good read!

Oregan I'm glad your feeling more positive and refreshed - that's half the battle! I wish you luck on the rest of your journey 🍀🤞🏻❤️

[Lou9 in reply to C_L_A_I_R_E]

Hi C_L_A_I_R_E ! Love escaping with a good book too. Here are some of my Kindle favs old and new...

Jojo Moyes- Me Before You, After You, The Girl You Left Behind, The One Plus One (particular fav!)

Jane Green - Tempting Fate, Summer Secrets, The Love Verb (particular fav but sad!), The Accidental Husband, The Beach House (my fav book ever!)

Lucy Dillon - A Hundred Pieces of Me (loved this!)

Liane Moriarty - The Husband's Secret (page turner)

Clare Mackintosh - I Let You Go (about to read, my mum said it's a compulsive read and that's what I need right now!)

Maria Semple - Where'd You Go Bernadette (I really enjoyed this!)

Marian Keyes - Rachel's Holiday (funny and sad!)

I really like Jodi Picoult too but can be a bit heavy so maybe not best right now!

If you have any particular favs I'd love to hear them, always looking for a new book to distract me!

Wishing you lots and lots of luck whatever stage you are at just now. Xx

[C_L_A_I_R_E in reply to Lou9]

Thanks! Definitely going to look into a few of these! I've read the me before you and watched the films. I've read the common ones - gone girl and girl on the train.

[Hidden in reply to Lou9]

I loved Rachel's Holiday. Read it years ago. I've got Me Before You on my kindle so will get my head in that while I'm on holiday. X

[Lynnr54]

Hi Kelly, it's frustrating isn't it when you know that it's just not happening for you but they won't give you any support and tell you you have to wait 2 years! You probably are using already but ovulation kits can be great for making sure you're timing things properly (though prob best not telling DH or he may struggle to perform at the right moment like mine did!). As for the 2ww all you can do is keep yourself busy. Like the ladies have said box sets are great as is finding yourseld some sort of project to get stuck into. Hopefully it will work for you but if not and the time comes to be referred for IVF then we'll all be here with plenty of tips and advice.

[kelsbels88 in reply to Lynnr54]

Hi thank you for the reply..

Yes we do use the ovu kits, I have a monitor.. from what it tells me I'm doing everything at the right times it's just this bit in the middle that doesn't seem to happen. Just trying to remain positive and not analyse every niggle and twinge 😂 easier said than done.

I was told because I'm under 35 and haven't been trying 2 yrs they wont do anything. I've had pain for the last yr in my lower left abdomen which is excruciating around my cycle and hoping things with this are going to move along thanks to a recommendation from a gastro consultant as he seems to think it may potentially be endo.

I am just at the point where I want answers so,I know how to better go forward. In some ways if I knew I had endo (as awful as I'm told it is) at least I can work on my next steps and manage my pain, and I would know that it is potentially what is stopping us from being parents, but the being told to keep going until you reach the requirements just feels pretty crap.

Having to face every AF between now and then feels almost too much emotionally. I'm sure we will get there eventually but it's how much upset and pain I need to physically go though and emotionally how much we go through as a couple.

Sorry for the long post, there are not many people that I have told about how I'm feeling or how I'm affected by it all as it's not something many people understand. They just tell me to relax and not think about it which to be honest just infuriate me.

I honestly do not know what I would do without the support of this group.

Xx

[Sunshine09]

Welcome bk, keeping everything crossed for you xx🤞❤️🌈💋

[kelsbels88 in reply to Sunshine09]

Thanks lovely xx

[Hidden]

I'm in the last week of my 2ww (natural while we wait for our IVF appointment) but I'm training for a half marathon so I'm running 4 times a week. That's been a massive distraction. I'm also reading more and watching Game of Thrones in the evening. Yesterday I cooked a stew (my OH is the cook usually) and baked a cake. I don't think anything really stops you from thinking about it though. Even at work it's hard especially with Google at your fingertips!

When do you test? Good luck xx

[kelsbels88 in reply to Hidden]

Aww good luck 😉

I make my own cards so that's my distraction...I'm just hoping that between that and reading and my millions of catch up tv that I should be ok.

I'm due to test 30th sept? That's first day of AF so we'll see.

[Hidden in reply to kelsbels88]

That sounds like a great way to distract yourself. I wish I could be that creative! Keeping my fingers crossed for you for 30th xx