New here: Hello :) I am new to this... - Fertility Network UK

Fertility Network UK

28,704 members40,103 posts

New here


Hello :)

I am new to this site. I have spent a few days browsing all the stories and everyone on here is so inspirational kind and supportive. It really is hardwarming. Me and my husband had been feeling isolated from anyone in the same situation with secondary infertility, and i am so grateful i have found this site. I have gained so much knowledge from everything posted as me and my husband embark on the IVF journey.

Me and my husband are so lucky to have naturally concieve once, and for that I feel so grateful as I know alot of ladies would give anything for that. But after 2 long years of ttc and diagnosis of very low sperm count we have been told it unlikely to happen again for us naturally. Each month devastates me each time AF comes. My difficulties in coming to terms with it has left me being referred to councillors, something which I have never needed before. I didn't realise how stressful and heartbreaking it can be. I am lucky to have a husband so supportive and we have grown even close through the stress of it all.

The stories here are so heartwarming/heartbreaking but it is reassuring to know that whatever happens on our IVF journey that there is such a supportive kind and inspirational women to gain comfort from and know exactly how it feels.

Baby dust to you all. I hope you all get the miracles you deserve Xxxxxxx

34 Replies

Welcome 😊 x

Rainbow_86 in reply to Tugsgirl

Thank you so much and saw your happy news.... may congratulations you deserve to enjoy it :) xxxxxxx

Tugsgirl in reply to Rainbow_86

Thank you 😊 xx

Welcome! If you to safety rant, cry, be crazy, be excited, be content and feel warm inside - this is the place to be! :) x

Rainbow_86 in reply to emu2016

Aww your so kind. Is so lovely to be around people who know exactly how you feel. I never used to cry and now I get upset so often!!! It can be hard feeling like people don't understand... I was asked once if my husband and son weren't enough for me... I felt so hurt I don't really open up to many people now as I worry they think I'm being unreasonable as I am lucky enough to have a son. Of course I am grateful for what I have but my urge to have 1 more to give him a sibling is so strong... thanks so much for ur kind words. I wish u every success in your own journey xxxx

emu2016 in reply to Rainbow_86

Every woman has the right to want more than one child. Wherever the struggle comes it's hard to deal with. Good luck and always feel you can ask anything xx

Rainbow_86 in reply to emu2016

Thank you emu that's really kind. I definately feel like I will have lots of questions on here... there's so much to the IVF procedure from what I read everyone go through, the bits you don't here in all the booklets! We have had all our ultrasounds, x rays etc and just waiting for next appointment date with consultant to get the ball rolling... All the best to you. Thank you for replying xxx

Welcome 😊 we are in exactly the same position but TTC for 4 years. We are about to embark on our ivf journey & this site is such great support. Everyone is so friendly & full of kind words.

It's a hard journey but know that you're not alone xx

Rainbow_86 in reply to Pumpkin36

Thanks so much pumpkin. The people on here seem so supportive. It's so sad that such nice people have to endure this. The same goes to you....ur not alone if you ever want a chat. Our 2 years has seemed a lifetime, so I feel for your 4 years.... I think the hardest part is the cycle of hope, and disappointment each month. Getting AF can be so cruel. It almost feels like a punishment....and each month I over analyse all my symptoms convincing myself they are early pregnancy symptoms and each month it makes the disappointment so hard. I wish you all the best and hopefully we can support each other through the journey. I've isolated myself so much from friends. Yet on here it seems so lovely and easy to talk to people who share the pain. Big hugs xxxxx

Hi lovely mine is secondary unexplained infertility too. Have an 11 year old daughter with different partner whom it took me 2 months to conceive back then I didn't even need to think about it.!

Been TTC for 2 years with partner of last 7 yrs with no luck although no issues with any of us apart from the fact I'm 39 and he works away from home half the week.

We were lucky enough to be able to go private for IVF/ICSI treatment in Jan/Feb this year and to my amazement it worked first time!I'm currently 5 wks pregnant😁

I sometimes felt a bit like a fraud on this page having already got one child and I think secondary infertility is even more of a tabo than primary infertility.

The fact you already got a child is a massive bonus for your success rate for IVF. I think ICSI is the way for you too with the low sperm count.

All the best and don't be afraid to message me too.


Rainbow_86 in reply to Buffy21

Aww thank you for your reply Buffy. And congratulations on your fantastic news you must be over the moon. I wish u a healthy happy pregnancy :) your post made me smile and give me hope. I still feel overwhelmed by how lovely people are on here.

I do know what you mean feeling like a fraud, as much as we are desperate for a sibling for our son... we are always grateful for what we have, and cannot contemplate how hard it must be for some who do not have that.

We also will fund treatment privately but me and my husband both agree it is worth the money to try. We are not super well off I am a part time nurse, and my husband also works in healthcare but we have been told we can pay in installments so fingers crossed we can try for more than one cycle.

I struggle, as lots of people ask us why we haven't had another child yet, and it's hard to explain to people. I know people don't mean to be insensitive as they don't know what you are going through but it's hard sometimes to open up. I do feel isolated sometimes and avoid anyone who is pregnant as i dont want my son to ask why he doesnt have brothers and sisters. I have found it so emotionally difficult it does feel like grieving a loss of something you would do anything to have.

Anyway enough about me.....If you ever need a chat I am always here too to message :) Thank you for taking the time to reply to me xxxx big hugs and congratulations again xxxxxxx

Buffy21 in reply to Rainbow_86

Sounds like you on the right track. It's all about getting your mindset right too. I was very angry and resentful for 2 years. Having to put three empolees through maternity leave whilst not telling anyone that we were trying nearly sent me over the edge!

I made up a reason that due to my partners heart complaint we didn't want to risk it as it's a genetic disorder. This is true in as much as he has got issues and true they can be passed on but only to boys and even if he does it's not fatal, but anyway that's what I've been telling people when they'd asked. Just make up a little white lie. It stops the nosey buggers!

You lucky in as much as your son wants a sibling. My daughter is pretty against the idea and has informed me several times that I'm too old!She also said I might as well stop as it wouldnt happen!Gotta love childrens honesty lol. Hoping she will find something positive in a sibling in time to come!


Rainbow_86 in reply to Buffy21

Aww bless your daughter telling you your too old! Bless. Children say the funniest things lol. I am sure once baby is here she will be different and once it's all sunk in she will start to get excited and look forward to an exciting new chapter with a sibling!

Yeah it's horrible having to come with excuses why we don't have another child.... a handful of people know what we are going through. To the people who dont sometimes I say it's because of money we don't have another, or make up a random excuse on the spot. I've also cried recently when being asked this question. It came after several pregnancy announcements, and feelings of loneliness from friends and when the person asked me at work i just broke down..... I was so embarrassed after it. I try to bring strong but it is very hard sometimes....

Wishing you a healthy happy pregnancy. Your story definately gives me hope. Make sure you keep us updated!!! Xx

Pumpkin36 in reply to Buffy21

Congratulations! It's lovely to hear a positive story & gives me hope for our (hopefully) upcoming treatment. It's all very daunting but I know the support on here will get me through xc

Rainbow_86 in reply to Pumpkin36

It is a daunting process isn't it! I love the success stories to give us some hope one day it could be used in the same boat too! It's daunting but we will get there :) what stage are you at with appointments pumpkin? xxxx

Pumpkin36 in reply to Rainbow_86

We will get there 😃 about to have my 1st one! You?

Welcome Rainbow_86, so sorry to hear you've had a hard time of it. I understand totally about the monthly heartache and feeling like theres no light at the end of the tunnel. I hope you'll find your light at the end of this journey. Wishing you all the best and baby dust xxx

Rainbow_86 in reply to Beanme

Thanks so much bean me. It's so hard isn't it. Each month gets harder. It's like each month revolves around AF. Me and my husband are trying to do everything in our power not to let this take over our lives.. but it seems to have took away from the happy, go lucky couple that we used to be which makes me sad..... the sadness it places on a couple is unbearable sometimes... we always put a brave face on for our son though. I don't want him to pick up on it but it's affected our lives so much it really is difficult.... I wish you every success with your own journey whatever stage you are at :)xxxx

Hi Rainbow, I just wanted to say hello and wish you well with your journey. Everyone on here is so supportive so don't be afraid to ask any questions x x x

Thanks momma bear. I have read some of your lovely posts when I was browsing the website. You have provided lots of people with support and seem like such a lovely person. I was so sorry to read of ur recent news... but I have every faith that someone as kind as you will get the postive result on next try.... I wish you every success you truely deserve it xxxxx

Thank you rainbow that's so kind. I'm not leaving this site until I get my Baby Bear 🐻☺️ x x x

You will get your baby bear and they will be so lucky to have you when it happens :) am here if you ever need to talk..... I wish you all the best with the next cycle. Bug hugs to you you are such a stong lady and look forward to hearing about you BFP soon xx

Welcome.hope that u get your much wanted BFP on this journey xxx

Rainbow_86 in reply to 72cloud9

Thank you so very much cloud. I wish the same to you too. The strength and bravery everyone here shows is so astounding. I wish you every success in your journey towards BFP xxxxxxx

Good morning to you Rainbow_86 and welcome.

No question is every time big or silly. This forum is absolutely brilliant picked me up at my lowest like no of my friends could have. I would like to wish you and your husband well and hope you get that BFP at the end of your journey which ever direction it be xxx

Thank you so much Emma. This has to be the nicest place. For so long me and my husband have felt so isolated as everyone around us can get pregnant so easily. We have never met anyone else with fertility issues and this site has given us so much comfort. Just knowing that we are not alone has been a massive help..... I will certainly have lots of questions in the road ahead as we are just at the start of our journey xx

Welcome welcome you finally found us all😊😊😊😊you are in the right place and will get oodles of support here fromantic fabulous strong inspirational women and the odd fabulous man too..take care xxxxx

Rainbow_86 in reply to vic77

Aww thanks vic!!! It is such a wonderful place here. I've gone from feeling I didn't have anyone I could talk to about it, to feeling like there's 100 supportive ears to listen and understand! I wish I'd found it earlier! It means so much so thank you. Everyone here deserves your miracles. Big hugs to you and thanks so much for the reply xxxx

vic77 in reply to Rainbow_86

So very welcome. .so pleased you are here and wishing you all the very best xxx

Rainbow_86 in reply to vic77

Thank you. Look forward to sharing the journey with you xxxx all the best x

Heartwarming welcome!! xoxo

Rainbow_86 in reply to Nesfin

Thanks so much. Big hugs to you nesting xxxxx

Nesfin in reply to Rainbow_86

Oh thank you, and back!! 😊😊 Yes nesfin is nesting lol 😂Hope you find as much comfort and support from here as I have.. these ladies are very special xoxo

Rainbow_86 in reply to Nesfin

Haha I just realised that it changed to nesting lol hahaha. Guessing you get that all the time silly predictive text lol. Well nesting is an appropriate word as we all want our nest full of little ones! These ladies certainly are special.... I have seen such warmth and kindness in such a short time. Everyone looks after each other.. it is so lovely and reassuring. Big hugs to you xxxxx

You may also like...