Hoping to spread a little happiness... - Fertility Network UK

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Hoping to spread a little happiness...

Franco81 profile image

I just wanted to post to all you strong, brave ladies and gents as I’ve always found the support and advice on here a massive help in keeping me sane on this long and difficult journey.

Although we all have slightly different stories and will all be at different stages, we are all on the same path, battling with the pain and massive mixture of emotions that infertility can bring.

Some days we can cope and find ourselves standing up and carrying on despite the weight on our shoulders but other times it can be too much to bare and it can all seem completely hopeless.

This is how I found myself a couple of weeks ago (there was an awful lot going on for me on top of our fertility struggles) and a lovely friend that I feel so lucky to know set me the task of looking for one positive thing each day to text her that evening. I honestly couldn’t think of anything that first day as I was so low I couldn’t see a purpose to anything so eventually came up with

‘My favourite bottle of wine was on offer in Tesco!’ (Not the best start but still a start!) but since then day by day I have found myself looking out for positives to tell her - it sounds a bit cheesy but it’s completely true - and now it’s easy to tell her a few good things about my day.

So, I thought I would see if this could work for us on here. Each night this week I’m going to post a positive from my day and would love as many of you to post one too - even just seeing others nice experiences might help us see our own.

This is such an isolating journey so if we can share some positivity surely that can only be a good thing.

So here goes.....

Today it was meant to be raining but it’s the first chance I’ve had to take my dog for a nice long walk for a while but when me and my husband got out the weather was beautiful. We found a new woods not far from the house we’ve just moved to and it really made me feel happy seeing my dog bouncing around in his element, plus we found a lovely spot overlooking some fields to sit together and we actually talked properly together for the first time in ages.

I’d love to hear about some more happy moments

Xxx

54 Replies

That’s a brilliant idea! It really gives you something to focus on in the hard times (and even the easier ones).

I was doing something similar whereby I wrote down in a notebook just before I went to sleep three things that I am grateful for. Not for big things like my husband, family/friends, health etc that you would obviously wish for first every day but smaller things like a beautiful sunset, a really tasty dinner, 30 minutes of relaxation in the bath, a great book, etc.

I must admit it’s faded and I’m not doing it anymore but you’ve reminded me about it and I think I’ll start again tonight. I’m feeling really flat at the moment as, even though we’re starting a fresh round in three weeks, I feel in limbo just waiting around again.

Like you, I’m also going through lots of other stressful things as well as the fertility struggles.

Your doggy wander and chat time sounds lovely and I’m glad you were able to relax and enjoy it.

My husband was out this morning so I had a cup of tea in bed and watched a film I’ve been meaning to watch for literally years! 😂 Then I went into town and had my nails done as that always cheers me up.

Thanks for reminding me about this great idea of recording and being thankful and seeing the positives each day xxxx

Franco81 profile image
Franco81 in reply to ShinyStar

Ah that’s so lovely. You’re right, it’s the small things that we can overlook and take for granted especially when we are caught up in wanting so desperately for something that feels so hard to achieve and all the emotions that come with it.

I hope the next three weeks go quickly for you and maybe if you’re looking for good things every day the wait will feel more bearable.

And good luck for your next cycle xx

ShinyStar profile image
ShinyStar in reply to Franco81

Thanks so much xxx

Sending you positive thoughts too xxx

you are such a wee smasher for doing this and I been looking out for your message ❤️ I love your first positive and I hope you bought the wine that day🍷🍷🍷🍷i also love your positive thing today. I am always at my happiest out walking with my hubby and dog so my positive thing today is that my hubby brought me breakfast in bed and we are dog sitting a friends dog too the mo and we both had a giggle at the two wee dribbly dogs at each side of the bed while we ate😂😂 xxxxxxxxx

Franco81 profile image
Franco81 in reply to vic77

Ewww! Dribbly dogs do have a certain charm though don’t they! I love that.

And of course I bought the wine! We need a little treat now and again X

vic77 profile image
vic77 in reply to Franco81

Is that a lovely lab or retriever photo pic?.. xxx

Franco81 profile image
Franco81 in reply to vic77

He’s Duke our lovely Golden Retriever! Is yours a Lab? X

vic77 profile image
vic77 in reply to Franco81

LOve retrievers ..yes ozzy is a black lab ❤️❤️❤️He is our world xxx

Franco81 profile image
Franco81 in reply to vic77

Until we got him, I’d never quite understood the bond you can have with a pet but now I completely adore him and couldn’t be without him x

vic77 profile image
vic77 in reply to Franco81

yup I know that feeling xx

Mine’s pretty sad but we spent all weekend cleaning 😂 Ok it may not sound like much but I didn’t do any housework much in the tww or while stimming as I felt a bit rough and drained. So we moved all the furniture and vacuumed under everything, mopped, polished and even moved the furniture around to make things flow and look better. We finished with the bedroom and bathroom today.. I’m cooking a roast now.. I’m tired after all the heavy lifting this weekend but I’m also feeling like we did something productive and the house is looking great! xx

Franco81 profile image
Franco81 in reply to Tugsgirl

That’s not sad at all. I’m a really tidy person and I always find cleaning therapeutic and love that feeling when everything is lovely and clean.

And just to feel like doing it is a positive thing itself. I’m glad you’re starting to feel stronger xx

Tugsgirl profile image
Tugsgirl in reply to Franco81

I’m a cleaner (shopper, gardener, ironer(?) and sometimes even decorator) for elderly people so this weekend has been good preparation for me as I’m going back to work tomorrow morning xx

Franco81 profile image
Franco81 in reply to Tugsgirl

How did you get into that if you don’t mind me asking? I’ve just moved house and was a childminder before I moved but was starting to find it hard being around children and babies constantly so have been thinking of doing something similar to you. Do you just advertise locally? X

Tugsgirl profile image
Tugsgirl in reply to Franco81

I work for an agency but also part self employed. So my self employed clients are by word of mouth. I always wanted to work with elderly people and did an nvq with a view to doing social work or care work but found it too upsetting in the work placements. So this is a great balance. I still get very upset losing clients and I’ve been to too many funerals but mostly I’m really appreciated in my work xx

Tugsgirl profile image
Tugsgirl in reply to Franco81

But advertising locally is also a good idea. Or asking around people and seeing if they know of anyone who needs help around their homes and gardens xx

Franco81 profile image
Franco81 in reply to Tugsgirl

Oh I hadn’t thought of that side of it, it must be so hard sometimes but lovely at other times knowing you’re helping people and making their lives easier.

I need to look into it properly as assume I’d need insurance etc but I love working with people and I love organising my own life so feel sure I could help others organise theirs!!

Tugsgirl profile image
Tugsgirl in reply to Franco81

Insurance is a good idea yes but also being ccb checked xx

Franco81 profile image
Franco81 in reply to Tugsgirl

I do have an enhanced check but only for children not adults I think so I’ll have to look into that. Do you generally enjoy it? Obviously apart from the sad times. I can really imagine it being something I’d like doing

Tugsgirl profile image
Tugsgirl in reply to Franco81

I get satisfaction from getting the job done but I wouldn’t say enjoy was quite right. I enjoy the relationship I build with my clients. Only thing is when I’m at home the last thing I want to do is housework and washing or gardening because that’s what I do at work although I do like my home and garden neat and tidy xx

I love this idea too and Vic already paid it forward to me yesterday so thank you.

So, today’s positive is that I went out on my bike 🚲 for the first time since our cycle failed. It’s always a big step for me starting to exercise again after an ivf cycle. I find it really hard to get into it again and really disappointed with how much fitness I’ve lost. BUT today my OH came with me, we just did a short, easy ride and he was like my support rider the whole way. Xxx

vic77 profile image
vic77 in reply to 7AVA

YAy love this ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

Franco81 profile image
Franco81 in reply to 7AVA

Ah I love this too! Sometimes we don’t see how big the small steps we take to carry on really are.

The first time out is always the hardest but you’ve got that out the way now xx

WaywardGirl profile image
WaywardGirl in reply to 7AVA

I got out on my bike yesterday with my partner running. He’s training for a half marathon. It was lovely to be out in the countryside together doing something active. I’m trying to get off my backside and run today but it’s feeling like too much effort!

Awww this is a great idea,

Today I am grateful for having my lovely home. 🏠 xx

I love this idea! I was meant to work two hours extra today but there was enough staff on so I finished two hours earlier than expected 😂😂

Franco81 profile image
Franco81 in reply to Charleexn2

Such an amazing feeling when you get to leave earlier than expected. It’s like waking up thinking it’s Monday only to realise it’s Sunday and you can stay in bed!

Charleexn2 profile image
Charleexn2 in reply to Franco81

Unless your a nurse 😂😂

Franco81 profile image
Franco81 in reply to Charleexn2

Oh yeah, that might be different! 😂

Maybe waking up thinking you’re on an early but you’re actually on a late and have some extra time in bed?!!

Charleexn2 profile image
Charleexn2 in reply to Franco81

Yup!! 😂😂😂😂. Now I get what you mean! 😂😂😂😂😂

This is such a fab idea 💡😁

My partner put up some new curtain poles today (they have a bit of sparkle on them too!) and I am sitting here admiring them... it’s the small things eh?! 💕 xx

Just what I needed to read and focus on right now. My positive today is spending some time having a cuddle in the sofa with my dog. He’s such a blessing and I treasure him especially right now.

Franco81 profile image
Franco81 in reply to Emma04

Ahhh that is literally the best thing ever, enjoy your cuddles x

This is an amazing idea. My postive today is spending quality time with my dog, walking and currently both cuddled on the sofa.xx

What a fantastic idea and I love your positive moment of your day!

My positive moment of today is having a Sunday lunch cooked by my mum and surrounded by my family. I also 'belly laughed' today in what seems like the first time in ages after my dad nearly reversed the car into the garage, not as dramatic as it sounds, just very funny!

Lovely to read other people's positive moments on here X

Great idea! My positive today was going for a walk with my OH and discovering a nice vintage market close to my 🏠. Good luck on your positive journey xxx

Franco81 profile image
Franco81 in reply to Sammy18

Thank you. Did you buy anything nice? X

Love this 😍 thank you for sharing! I am enjoying reading all the replies ❤️ First Sunday in a while I haven’t cried, counting that as a win 😉 big love to everyone Xx

Franco81 profile image
Franco81 in reply to AS100

Awwww, yes one little step at a time and we’ll all get there eventually xx

This is a lovely post, and made me smile reading it! My positive for today was just having quality time with my husband, chilling and watching a film cuddled on the sofa. We have had a very busy few weeks so this was nice! I plant to carry this on👍🏻thank you xx

Franco81 profile image
Franco81 in reply to Sweets1

Sounds like a perfect Sunday. It really is nice reading everyone’s positives isn’t it, I’m loving this xx

Fantastic initiative!

I have had a lovely Sunday Lunch with my friends:-) nice food always helps 🥩🥩🥞🥗🍧xx

This is excellent.

I went to a wedding yesterday , reflecting today i was sad thinking about all the initial hope and happiness my husband and i felt on our wedding day, no thought of any of this difficulty lay ahead of us, all this grief. Then i stopped my self and thought - No ! that hasn't gone, i married my husband for him, not to procreate and that happiness is still there, we are still a family regardless of these trials. This won't always be this painful and we will be really happy again some day x

This is awesome 🙌

Well today I went and picked up my injections for round #2! I had to lose some weight and I JUST made it! Phew! So 6kgs down and I'm going in fighting!! 👍✊👊👌❤

Franco81 profile image
Franco81 in reply to Niki_B

Ah well done on getting to where you need to be, it’s not easy at all especially with all the emotions we go through.

You sound really ready for it too, good luck xxx

Niki_B profile image
Niki_B in reply to Franco81

Oh it was so hard I've been a grumpy ole witch 🤣🤣🤣

Thanks so much I'm sooo ready has felt like an eternity! I look forward to your happiness posts! 😘😘😘

wow weee this is smashing all these positives and so many fab hubby's and dogs so big shout out to them 😀💜💜💜💜💜💜💜xxxx

It’s so lovely to see all these, it’s really making me smile so thank you.

I’ll put a post up tonight and can’t wait to see today’s positives! Xx

I keep a photo gratitude diary on Instagram and it honestly helps a lot. I'm currently on holiday so I've been being grateful for a rest!

Thanks for sharing the gratitude idea on here too. Best of luck with your treatment x

I love this idea and did this in a notebook for a while. My positive from today is, my mother in law sent me some home made fruit cake 😀🍰

Late to the party on this...

Got a lovely hug and "your doing great!" from my fella, after i had a big blub and had to let out mounting feelings that I'd be letting him down if treatment round 2 not successful...

Ok....so lm grateful for laughter. My family can see the funny in most things. So today l asked Grandad if he thought Grans memory was any better. (Shes ? Early onset Alzheimers)

He replied....well let's put it this way.......Yesterday she cooked me the same dinner 3 times....and what's even worse l ate them all!!! We couldn't stop laughing. So lm thankful for a much needed belly laugh.

I am grateful that after today I have two days off and can get over my cold with two pj days and Netflix 😂😂

I got an unexpected gift today for my wedding in less than 4 weeks; a jar for wedding messages. We haven't got a guest book yet and were thinking of getting something similar, but now this lovely person has saved us the job!

Love the gratitude vibe. So lovely, so important, and so easy to forget when your head is in a dark place. Thanks v much xxx

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