Not feeling good at all :(

So i start my down regging on wednesday, have been feeling so upbeat and positive the last fews weeks in preparation.. really felt in a good mood considering. Then today has gone and ruined it all. We went out for lunch with my best friend and hubby yesterday and back to ours for a cuppa, had a really great day. Then today popped into town, bumped into same friends.. she asked if she could have a quiet word with me on my own and promptly annouced she was pregnant (in the middle of town) Being my best friend she knows this was going to hit me hard. I said congratulations but then proceeded to be quiet upset. She was hugging me etc and saying its ok to be upset. I couldnt then face going back to her partner as i was too upset. I asked her to tell my hubby that i would wait down the street for him. When he finally came to find me after she obviously told him the news too, he then told me how selfish and horrible i was for acting like that. This upset me even worse. We walked back to the car with him still going mad at me. We drove to the supermarket then he asked why is it actually that im so upset and i said because why is it everyone else gets to conceive there child in such a natural loving way and we have to go through all this crap. He then went mad at me some more, so i got out and he drove off. I feel so so hurt from his lack of support. Dont no what to do now 😢so upset. Sorry for long post ladies just needed to let it out xx

7 Replies

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  • Aww Hun I am so sorry you are going through this, I think it's really unfair how your friend dropped this on you. Your hubby is probably equally upset but just expresses it differently and is hurting because he knows how much you want this. Big hugs to you xxx

  • Thanks for your reply. I really am thankful for this forum as without it i would feel so abnormal lol. I am trying to put it down to him being upset too, such a difficult time to go through as a couple :( Hugs to you too, thanks again xxx

  • I am so sorry. This exact thing has happened to me when my best friend broke the news to me in a not so gentle way. I was beyond devastated. I know there are some men out there who completely get it but my husband doesn't. He's great and really supportive but does not get how it's like a dagger through your heart when you get news like that. I really am sorry, I know exactly how you feel and you want them to be the same but I suppose everybody handles this differently. It's going to be hard for him too even if he doesn't show it how you want. Remember one thing though, you are far from selfish for feeling like this xxx

  • Thanks so much for the understanding and reply. Sorry to hear you went through the same, yes i cant believe she couldnt have told me while it was just the 4 of us at home! Never mind.. of course i am excited for her but just feeling very sorry for myself. I try and make allowances for the different ways my hubby deals with things but dont think he is able to try and make same allowances for me. Hugs xxxx

  • Oh dear poor you! I'm so sorry to hear what a rubbish day you've had. I had a similar experience too. You're definitely not alone. I was in the middle of a town I don't know very well and felt sick. My hubby used to find it really hard to understand how I could be so upset but he gets it a bit more now and feels fed up himself when news comes. This has been since we went through our first cycle and got a bfn. I think he was just expecting it to work and when it didn't it suddenly dawned on him that this is really hard. Maybe your hubby needs a bit more time Hun. He'll calm down and even if he doesn't get it, he'll not want you to be sad. Just rant on here for now and know that we've all had these feelings and they don't make us bad people, just ladies who really really want something everyone else seems to get so easily. Big hug. Xxx

  • Thanks so much.. dont you just wish we could switch bodies with them for one day so they could understand! your bfn must have been very difficult:( sending lots of hugs xxx

  • Thank you. It was hard but I think in my heart I already knew it wasn't going to be. The hardest part was telling hubby and then the next hardest part was waiting for the bleed. I think when that happened, it was all too real. It would help if they could understand a little more but then I also think that I wouldn't want him to experience the pain I feel. It's so consuming. I hope you and your hubby can talk things through. We've definitely become closer as a result of IVF and I am grateful for that. Big hug! x

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