So full on AF arrived today..

[LauraGU]

I really really wanted it to be implantation bleeding but it's not and BFN confirmed it. maybe it's just not our time at the minute. Fingers crossed for everybody else with tests around this time

[_MrsC]

Really sorry to hear that. It's a shock even if you're expecting it. xxx

[GinGin1234]

Sorry Hun not nice at all is it xXx

[Gueritarubia]

Damn it! Sorry to hear Take care of yourself! Thinking of you xx

[Leesalou]

Sorry to hear this, big hugs and take care of yourself,

Was this your first cycle of ivf? Xx

[LauraGU in reply to Leesalou]

Yep first cycle. We have 2 frozen but I can't even think about those at the min. Going to have a break and then think again xxx

[Leesalou in reply to LauraGU]

My first cycle I didn't have any frozen and I've gave up for 6 years, I'm just starting my 2nd cycle now well in the process start July,

It's truly heartbreaking not getting the bfp I totally understand what your going through, big hugs and take a well deserve rest xx

[Sunshine09]

Thinking of you ❤💋

[Hidden]

Oh I'm so sorry Laura. Look after yourself. X

[ditsy999]

hey hun so sorry to hear the bad news. I know it doesn't feel like it at the moment but i will happen for you eventually . Try and stay positive . . bug hugs xx

[Tara2016]

I'm so sorry to hear this! Hope you're okay. I did another test today and it was negative, otd is Saturday so just going to see what happens then. Take some time to rest and enjoy a glass of prosecco whilst you plan next steps x

[LauraGU in reply to Tara2016]

Thanks Tara. I'm so sorry to hear that, I will keep everything crossed for you. It could still change. Yes I'm planning my new kitchen, a holiday and generally focusing on myself for a few months. It feels like I've pressed pause on "me" for the whole of this year which makes me sad really. Wishing you lots and lots of luck xxx

[Oakey80]

Hi Laura, really sorry to hear his. I was in exactly the same boat as you in March (1st icsi and bfn) Did you get any to freeze in the end? We have 5 in the freezer and just had the drugs delivered today to start our down regging for our 1st frozen cycle a week sat!

Its not been easy the last few weeks...especially seeing so many folk getting their bfp's first time!! But I decided we just have to crack on.

It was funny when I took delivery of the drugs today as the 1st round I looked at them with fear and apprehension...this time it's more excitement!!

Hope you're ok...and definitely don't beat yourself up..like you say, it just wasn't your time xxx

[LauraGU in reply to Oakey80]

Thank you. Yes we have 2 frozen. Can I ask how you managed at first? Like I just can't imagine doing this again. I know I will but it's literally as if I've closed the door for now xxx

[Oakey80 in reply to LauraGU]

That's exactly how I felt! I remember saying to my dh the next day..."I can't go through that again!" And I meant it...although deep down I knew I would.

I'm not saying what I did was right or wrong but I tried to carry on as normal. Af arrived at 10.30pm on a Tuesday night...but I went into work the next day as usual. By 2.30pm I was exhausted from keeping up appearances but luckily I can work from home so I made my excuses and left. I still went back the next day though....I didn't want to be by myself.

In the immediate aftermath I just did all the things I hadn't been able to do...got drunk, ate rubbish...even had a few cigarettes (I haven't smoked in years!) We booked a weekend away...and bought a campervan! (Which has always been our dream)

It only took me 2-3 days to decide I'd get straight back to it. Everyone's different but I'd always been so convinced it would be the fet that worked!

It's been a few weeks now and I'll admit I've gone off the rails with food and drink (but not cigarettes!) I still struggle with every emotion under the sun when I see others getting their bfp's but I try and see it as a good thing....ivf works! I still have my good days and bad (more good but the bad days are really bad...and come out of the blue!)

I suppose my only advice is to go with your emotions, don't worry about being a crazy lady with ups and downs...its perfectly normal. Just make sure you're dh understands, just because the treatment is over, doesn't mean you're physically or emotionally back to normal (my dh didn't and still doesn't really get that!)

Look after yourself xxx

[LauraGU in reply to Oakey80]

Thank you. That genuinely is helpful, even this morning I'm ok one minute and then not the next. I've just had a McDonalds and watched crappy telly and I'm just going to go with the flow for the next few days. I'm not due back in work until Monday so hopefully I will be more "together" (whatever that is!) by then! Wishing you the best of luck for your next cycle xxx

[Oakey80 in reply to LauraGU]

Thanks! Ooh I'm jealous of your macdonalds...I just had a courgette and tomato salad for lunch whilst I try and undo some of the "naughties" I've had over the last few weeks....and really don't worry, you sound exactly like me in terms of being up and down. The first few days my mood would change (by the extreme) literally every 5mins (I thought I was going mad)...I'm still up and down 6wks later but it seems to be by the day or even week now (which is probably normal for me!)

If you need any more advice just let me know 😊 xxx

[LauraGU in reply to Oakey80]

It will all be worth it in the end for you!!! Thank you so much, you've really helped xxx

[bibi_16 in reply to Oakey80]

Hey honey its not fair on you why hubby doesnt understand. Its not fair at all. I really feeel for you honestly....even if the cycle is over n u r right it doesnt mean you feel fine. It takes ages to recover after failed cycle. It takes us ladies longer as v r ones that go through it phyically. So totallly gt ur bk on that one. Lots love and kisses to you.xxx

[Georgina78]

Oh no I'm so sorry Laura, it really sucks. Sending hugs & treat yourself to something lovely xx

[emu2016]

Big hugs x

[Tugsgirl]

Sorry for your bfn 😞 x

[Coracle]

Really really sorry to hear this Laura.

Do have a break, and like you say, focus on you.

I did feel similar after failed cycles, ie 'how can I try again? can I go through all this again?' but somehow, after a break and 'time out' you do recover and do find the strength to try again. So so glad to hear about the frosties in the freezer.

Much love xxx

[bibi_16]

Ssooo sorry hun to read this. Its never ever easy. Ill be thinking of you. Hugs and kisses for you. Anddddddd.

MORE HUGS AND KISSES FOr YOU.XXXX.X

[sarahlovs]

I totally empathise. I'm not as far along the journey as you, but I'm in my second month after HSG and having Googled it like a mad woman I was so hopeful that the weeks after my HSG could boost my fertility. I got my hopes up from the start of this week cause of having all sorts of different symptoms, and had planned to do a test by the weekend (always a weekend so I don't risk being so distracted a work...). BUT mother nature had different ideas, with AF arriving today and lady cramps in full force 😣

Not our month this month but one day AF won't come and we will both be starting a different journey. Sending love and hugs xxx

[LauraGU in reply to sarahlovs]

It certainly will. It's so hard but you've got to have some hope and just keep going. Wishing you lots of luck xxx