Most positive thing someone has said

I just read a thread on this forum, which was both entertaining (due to some witty comments from you lovely ladies) and frustrating, about how people can often tell infertile couples to 'relax' - in other words - attributing their not conceiving to being too stressed. Obviously this is well-meant but rather ridiculous and unimaginative advice.

I was just wondering what is the best, most encouraging, nicest thing someone has said to you while you have been struggling with infertility or IVF?

11 Replies

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  • I've had the usual "just try to relax and it will happen" rubbish but I've also had some really nice comments too. None the less, as supportive as these comments are meant to be they don't make me believe I'll be a Mum which I guess is the intended purpose (things like "it will happen for you, I just know it"). The nicest thing people have said is how brave I am because often, I don't feel it, far from it xx

    Vicky

  • Yeah, I agree. The nicest thing someone ever said to me was: 'I'm not going to pretend to know how you feel, I'm just going to be here in case you want to chat. I think you are being very brave.'

  • When I had my most recent loss when I got really upset my auntie was there at the time and saw me crying she came over give me the biggest hug and said I'm not even going to say I can't imagine how your feeling because I can't but please know Holly that I'm here for you whenever you need me . And don't suffer in silence xx

  • I think this is a really nice thing to do. My counsellor said that she would still like to treat me once I'm pregnant and once I've had my baby (I'm not pregnant yet) as the journey doesn't end once your pregnancy. She also said that what im going through and dealing with now is helping me to create building blocks for dealing with stress and grief for all the things that i will have to face at some point in my life and that ppl often find it more difficult to learn how to cope with life traumers later on in life. I think this advise just gave me some perspective on the bigger picture as I often find all this infertility so self consuming. Xxx

  • Your counsellor sounds awesome! And you sound like a strong woman yourself! 💪❤

  • Thanks kirajean that's very kind of you, some days I'm strong others not so much but such is life in general in i think xxx

  • A friend of mine who knows most of what I've been through said to me, I don't know how you do it, you're so strong! I think you're a real life superwoman. I thought that was really lovely xxx

  • My husband bought me a Wonderwoman cuddly toy last week. It made me cry.

  • Someone said....you are superwoman

  • I'm lucky to work closely with two women who have both been through Ivf. Both now have children. One reminds me regularly that it worked for her eventually even though she never believed it would (she had four rounds), and the other is good at reminding me that I shouldn't put my life on hold... she praises me for booking nice things with my husband like weekends away which you wouldn't do with children. Her belief that I need to do things now because I won't be able to do them once I have children just helps me to believe that there will be a day when I will have children and reminds me to enjoy what I have now. This approach would be annoying if it came from someone who didn't know how infertility feels, but she and her husband tried for 8 years before going on to have two children, so I trust her! I'm incredibly lucky to have these two women as the people I work closest with... and best of all, they understand the drug side effects so they're really patient with me!

  • Thanks for posting this thread. I think it's made me realise that I'm lucky that I have put up a bit of a defence so I haven't had too many comments either way from people. The nicest thing DH has said was how proud he was of me when going through our protracted miscarriage. Though I was a mess some weeks, holding on to the fact that it is teaching me to be more resilient and hopefully deal better with disappointment, grief and stress is something no one can take away from me. Might show this thread to DH!

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