Adoption/ fostering

[Rachaelrix86]

Hello everyone I sadly lost my baby boy at 30weeks after a very hard pregnancy Cody was born due to spontaneous labour and survived for 8hours before no more could be done as you all know private ivf is so expensive after remortgaging the house last time I'm not sure we will ever have enough to try again so looking into the future about adopting or fostering does anyone have any advice or similar stories???

[DianeArnold Partner Nurse Fertility Network UK]

Hi Rachaelrix86. So very sorry to hear of the tragic loss of your little Cody. Looking back, you did have a lot of "blips" along the way, but I didn't think you would lose him. I know from experience many years ago the pain it leaves in your chest, so I hope you are getting lots and lots of well deserved support. A brave decision to look to adoption, but as you say, you have to think of the costs, because we still have to live and pay our way. I'm sure your GP or Social Services will be able to put you in touch with an adoption agency for further details. We do have some information on our website too in the factsheets at fertilitynetworkuk.org if you want to have a look. Meanwhile I shall be thinking of you as you proceed forward, and make new decisions. Diane

[skatty]

I am so so sorry to hear this. I can't pretend to offer advice as I recently had a MC but only at 10 weeks. Lots and lots of hugs x

If you decide you are not completely done, there are some options you may have already ruled out, but just wasn't sure... if you meet the criteria, there's egg sharing and cheaper treatment abroad. One helpful one that someone on the fertility network mentioned was that private treatment at NHS clinics is a lot less than at private fertility clinics. I found one clinic that would be £3,500 including add-ons and drugs, when mine is currently £6k. But I don't know if now is the right time to be thinking of all of this?

[Rachaelrix86 in reply to skatty]

Thank you it is still to soon to make a decision as only been 9weeks but it helps to look forward An just looking for info at the minute sorry for your loss to our last treatment cost nearly 9k an we just can't afford it not sure about egg collection as only got 8 last time and only 2survived an the weren't great grades but did work all the same what r your plans for next time ?

[katya38]

Hi Rachael. So sorry about your little boy what a difficult time it still must be. My husband and I are going through the adoption process at the moment.

We had 1 failed icsi and then our only option was donor eggs which I wasn't that keen on. I've always wanted to adopt it feels right for us. We ve just started our training so far its gone quickly for us. Money was an option for us as I wanted reasonable finances so I can afford a year off work.

Adoption isn't to be taken lightly tho it isn't the same as a biological child that's what they kept telling us. There are lots of options going abroad for treatment or surrogacy. Its good to think of options though and loads of good books on therapeutic parenting out there if you're interested. Good luck xx