Adoption

[BabyD]

I used this forum last year for support when going through IVF. After years of failed fertility treatment my partner and I decided to adopt. We started the process back in January and we recently became approved as adopters, so now it's just a case of waiting for a match! I know for most of you at this point you're still going through fertility treatment and the thought of adopting is a million miles from what you've spent your life dreaming about. I ALWAYS wanted to BE pregnant. To carry my child, give birth, breastfeed etc but that's just a small part of the journey of motherhood which I'm going to miss out on. I didn't 'give up' I just decided to follow a different path and I've honestly never been happier or closer to becoming a mum! I just wanted to let you all know that no matter what path you take, no matter what happens or where your journey leads you ... there's incredible amounts of support and you should never give up on your dreams. Xxx

[ch319]

So excited for you I hope that match pops up soon. You have chosen the best route for you and your partner and that's all that matters. Good luck and keep us all updated xx

[BabyD in reply to ch319]

Thank you! I've finally been able to start buying baby things after all these years! 🤗

[ch319 in reply to BabyD]

ah that's amazing go on a shopping spree and enjoy the moment

[Hidden]

Thanks a lot!

I might start IVF soon but we will also go to an informative event on adoption in the mear future. Honestly, I don't know what I prefer better... Sometimes I think my child/ren may already exist and I just feel love!

I wish you all the best: you're family is just waiting to be complete, you'll be together soon and, although It will be probably hard at times, I am sure It will be full of love in all directions!

[BabyD in reply to Hidden]

That's exactly how we felt. I just thought "maybe this isn't the journey for me, maybe my child has already been born and is waiting for me to give them all this love?" And feeling that just opened me up to a whole load of hope and opportunities. I will love my child the same, regardless of whether or not they are biologically related to me. The IVF was incredibly difficult for me as I don't respond to sedation so I was wide awake during the entire egg collection process and I just thought, I can't do this anymore. I can't put myself through this pain when there's so many children out there who need a mummy already xx

[NDE1987]

Hey Hun, we had our ivfs at similar times, I'm so happy it's working out for you. Could I please ask and hope you don't mind, but with adoption do you get to choose the age of the child you want to adopt? I.e a new born etc? X

[BabyD in reply to NDE1987]

Hey yeh I remember you how are you? And yes you do, you can be as specific as you want but obviously the more specific you are the longer you may have to wait. Xx

[NDE1987 in reply to BabyD]

Thanks for your reply hun! Iv been ok, had another failed ivf but we have 4 embryos in the freezer so hoping to start again in a few months. I admire you for going through adoption. Best of luck and please keep us updated xxx

[BabyD in reply to NDE1987]

Oh I'm sorry to hear that but glad you have some frozen embryos to try again! Unfortunately we weren't so lucky! Xx

[Goodthingscome]

So pleased you have found a route that suits you to becoming a Mummy and are now closer than ever. I am seriously considering this route if my last round (hopefully early next year) using SD isn't successful. Do you know if you can be accepted if you are single? Good luck and looking forward to reading your updates xx

[BabyD in reply to Goodthingscome]

Yes there was a single lady on the course with us and we also met a single lady and her adopted daughter during the process, good luck! Xx

[Hidden]

Amazing!!!!! So so happy for you this is amazing!!! 😍😍😍 xx

[KittyK]

So happy your new journey to becoming parents has begun! After all this time it's clear you both have so much love to give and your little son or daughter will be so lucky to have you. I hope it's not too long a wait for you now. Be thinking of you over the next few weeks! Xxx

[_MrsC]

Thank you for this post. We're still in the process of grieving which I think is important before heading down the road of adoption but I find it very inspirational to see how you've moved forward. Do please post your updates of your journey to and of motherhood. I certainly would find them very motivating and reassuring. I wish you the greatest joy and will pray for a good match for you. xxx

[BabyD in reply to _MrsC]

Thank you. I know I totally understand that feeing and I'm in no way posting this to encourage people to adopt or suggest that it's something anyone should do. I just want to help anyone who has considered it and share my story xx

[Loopielu]

We went to an information evening before we decided to try IVF. If our IVF journey ends without a baby, then we will move to adopt I expect. It's not the same as carrying your own baby but as you say, there are a lot of little people out there who need some of the love we are able to share with them. I think it's an amazing thing to do and the process, while different physically to IVF, is as tough emotionally (IMHO!) so kudos to you! Are you doing Foster to Adopt, or waiting for a full adoption match from the outset? Very best of luck - I hope you find your match quickly! xx

[BabyD in reply to Loopielu]

We are hoping for a sibling group, so a foster to adopt with a slightly older brother or sister which will be an adoption placement x

[Hidden]

Congratulations!! so happy for you xxx

[katya38]

Congratulations thats great news! We re currently going through the adoption process our panel is January. Takes ages in scotland. Hope u get your match soon xx

[Mantaray75]

Hope you get to be a mummy really soon. I'm having a break before going for egg donation but adoption is definitely an option. My sister got approved for adoption in the January, met her 3 month old daughter in the March and she was living with them by June. My sister is definitely her mummy. X

[Nurserynurse in reply to Mantaray75]

Wow this is amazing news!. I'm looking into adoption after being told I only have 10% chance of a successful pregnancy through IVF. I feel unable to put myself through the process, and dont feel I would cope if it failed. Xx

[Linda78]

Congratulations - having been a social worker for a long time and working in adoption I know that your positive attitude and wish for a sibling group, including considering an older sibling will have you matched in no time - 'adoption is not second best, it's a second chance' is how many people see it and seeing so many wonderful matches over the years is proof of that! Wishing you all the very best x

[Amanda86]

Great news BabyD, so pleased for you. I really do believe we all have a path set out for us in life. We're still going through IVF but once our NHS shots are finished (if it's not successful with them) then I wouldn't look into private treatment. For me I think it would mean that I was destined to be a mum in another way, and I'd look into adoption. Giving a child a safe environment and a loving home who's maybe had a bad start to life or maybe life would be completely different had they not been adopted I think it's just amazing. If IVF is successful for us I still want to look into adoption in the future. Good luck with your journey 🙂😘 xxx