Baseline scan on wed have booked afte... - Fertility Network UK

Fertility Network UK

52,656 members β€’ 57,848 posts

Baseline scan on wed have booked afternoon off but have to explain to work...they don't know about treatment need help with reason...

Heregoesthen77 profile image
β€’18 Replies

Hey I hope everyone ok.

I thought I'd see what You lovely ladies thought as I'm sure we've all had to do it! My employers are not the nicest and it's mostly male environment quite tough and toxic. There is no way I would tell them about treatment until I'm pregnant and pat the 3 months as my gen manager would things difficult or maybe even dismiss me (I never know how he'll react to things and he's not treated a couple of the other women hlwho worked here very well really.

I've already said I have a medical appt. just joked that the machinery isn't working as it should and my gen manager was actually supportive last year after my large gynae surgery but I didn't go into specifics with him. They are aware as I have had to take tablets and can't bend down for too long. What do I say about Wednesday without raising suspicion and courting questions? I'm a private person anyway and there's some quite creepy guys so I just keep stuff close to my chest. Any suggestions welcome.

Have a good Monday ladies

Bring it on!

πŸ˜€x

Written by
Heregoesthen77 profile image
Heregoesthen77
To view profiles and participate in discussions please or .
Read more about...
18 Replies
β€’
Laura3101 profile image
Laura3101

Could you perhaps say it's a follow up appt from last years surgery to make sure things are as they should be (without then going in to too much detail) like a 12 month check up type thing? the consultant could write you a letter if need be to say your appt is at such and such a time if they want proof without putting anything about the clinic perhaps? Hopefully they won't require a letter confirmation though X

Heregoesthen77 profile image
Heregoesthen77 in reply to Laura3101

Hey Laura3101

Thankyou πŸ˜€Yup Im just worried they'll ask where it is as they are nosey and any hint they'll jump on it. Terrified of losing job. Was v grumpy today and boss noticed! Asked me if anything he can do to make me happier .. we leave me alone perhaps! Ooh that's mean isn't it! Deffo feeling the affects since this morning which is crazy as on day 17 of bus I think now!

I think I'm just going to say it's private if asked about where and continue with medical check up as still not quite right from last years op! That way next appts won't be so weird right! Egg collection I'm using 'holiday' and taking adv of bank hold days over Easter and just said going away. I need a rest I think. Doing this for two people and I'm getting v tired.

Thankyou for your help

Xxx

Laura3101 profile image
Laura3101 in reply to Heregoesthen77

Your welcome it can't imagine how hard it is when you have to worry about work, my work have been great and just let me get on with it I'll either say Im coming in or Im not and they accept that (but they do know about the ivf) i work for a major UK bank so they have a great HR policy around ivf whereby no one can say anything to you.

Good luck with your EC Im hoping to be in having mine over the easter weekend xx

Heregoesthen77 profile image
Heregoesthen77 in reply to Laura3101

Thankyou! Yup it's tricky. Not had the best time there really but it's not a good time to change jobs so I've just had to make best of it. πŸ˜€. This whole sit Deffo made me more assertive and stand up for what's right! I miss working for a multinational as they have great policies. Oh well. Hey depending on what happens tommorrow for me we are kind of cycle buddies as hoping to EC around the 18th April depending πŸ˜€ Really good luck!

Thankyou xx

pm27 profile image
pm27

Medical appointment should be enough. If you really feel you need to give further information keep it brief & general, perhaps ongoing investigations, especially as you're going to have regular appointments as part of your fertility treatment. You don't need to tell anyone else if you don't want to. Could you arrange appointments before or after work or take a long lunch? I know this isn't always possible if you're under the NHS. The clinic may be able to provide an official appointment card to "prove" your appointments are genuine and they can keep it general "gynaecological" rather than for fertility appointment.

Heregoesthen77 profile image
Heregoesthen77 in reply to pm27

Thankyou! Xxx

I'm in a similar position with a heavily male environment so I haven't told work either. Have just told my boss I need to have a few tests. Am planning on mixing that excuse with bogus dentist appointments and booking a couple of Work from home days. Hoping the mix of excuses will throw them off the scent!

Hope you manage to come up with something you're comfortable with, work is just another stress that you could really do without at the moment heh? X

Heregoesthen77 profile image
Heregoesthen77 in reply to

I agree lovely thankyou x

DianeArnold profile image
DianeArnoldPartnerNurseFertility Network UK

Hi Hersgoesthen77. You could "self certify" for the day for follow-up medical appointment. No need to explain, that's your business. Your GP could sign you off for a day too if necessary. Good luck with whatever you decide, and for Wednesday's scan. Diane

Heregoesthen77 profile image
Heregoesthen77 in reply to DianeArnold

Thanks lovely! I've taken the half day as hols but told them it's for a check up medical and that things aren't working as they should be i.e. The machinery!

They gossip and discuss why people are off anyway so they'll have a field day with that one! But at the end of the day it doesn't matter does it is suppose as long as they let me have the day off. Wouldn't want to go back after appt anyway.

πŸ˜€

Xx

DianeArnold profile image
DianeArnoldPartnerNurseFertility Network UK in reply to Heregoesthen77

Hi Heregoesthen77. "Good thinking Batman"! Hope all goes well. Diane

Heregoesthen77 profile image
Heregoesthen77 in reply to Heregoesthen77

Hey Diane and all you lovely helpful ladies! Thanks for your kind words! In the end asked colleague who does hours if I could self cert and she gave me absence form and just said put Hosp appt and don't use your hols. After op last yr boss carried some sick days over from this year so don't really have any sick days left. She also said you don't take the piss with days off etc so it's fine. Meeting in morning with manager and will say my scan next week is tests. Having to change days round as have training. Pissed off have to change scan days in my treatment because I'm training away but I will work it out. Nothing will stand in the way!

Baseline fine so starting the stimms now.

The sun is shining and glass Deffo half full! 🌞Xx

Heregoesthen77 profile image
Heregoesthen77 in reply to DianeArnold

Thanks Diane. I'll mention in passing to my boss today it's guaranteed to gross him out. I've booked as hols anyway so in some ways don't need to explain anything.

Any further appts i.e. After ec I'll do what u suggested. Just try and be nicer to people at work I think! πŸ˜‰πŸ€— oooh the raging hormones!

Thanks all for your replies, I hope I answered all of you back. How supportive are you lot brilliant!

#amazing

Xxx

DianeArnold profile image
DianeArnoldPartnerNurseFertility Network UK in reply to Heregoesthen77

Hi Hergoesthen77. We're with you - always! Diane

emmab178 profile image
emmab178

I've used Dr's appointment, dentist for emergency filling, and the one for least questions make it about your husband. He's having dental surgery under gas and can't drive home etc.

Heregoesthen77 profile image
Heregoesthen77 in reply to emmab178

That's a brilliant one! X

Hollibob profile image
Hollibob

You could always just say lady stuff and hopefully they won't want to know anything else...

Heregoesthen77 profile image
Heregoesthen77 in reply to Hollibob

That's a good one too! Thankyou x

You may also like...

Trying to understand IVF...

Hello Ladies and gens...hope you’re having a good Sunday. I and my partner are quite new on this TTC

An update: all going well, so far

not to get my hopes up. I'm just glad we have managed to get this far. I'm still feeling a...

Advice - seriously considering giving up work

I could manage with me not working for a while, things would be tighter but we could manage. I...

Feeling like I don't belong

bothered but thought oh well I may as well keep it\\" and \\"I just can't quit smoking I've managed...

Anyone else not working?

Hi ladies, I was just wondering if anyone else isn't working while going through infertility? I...