As my post says I am freaking out. I'm 5 weeks this weekend and I've had af type cramps since before I got my bfp. However today they have been very strong and persistent for hours. If I could compare how strong on a scale of 1 to 5 and 5 being identical to, it would be a 5!! I've got lower backache too. Someone please tell me this is normal as I'm freaking out here, I'm actually in tears at the thought of af coming 😭😢😪😥 PS had two nice strong lines on test this morning, so that's all looking good and no bleeding 🙏🏻
I didn't want to be this person but..... - Fertility Network UK
I didn't want to be this person but... period type pains; in tears and freaking out!
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Tugsgirl
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112 Replies
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Aw big hugs try not to worry it's probably everything changing and stretching to support your baby xxx
Hey tugsgirl, I cant speak from experience but everything I have ever read and heard from other pregnant ladies says they have experienced exactly the same thing and its perfectly normal. Try to let the bad thoughts wash over you and tell yourself that your body is just getting used to having a little one in there! hugs xxx
I'm trying but it feels EXACTLY the same. Physically it's not overly painful but I am quite uncomfortable. Mentally this is torture 😥😥 x
Oh I really feel for you, I can totally understand how torturous it must be. Can you do anything to help calm or distract you? Something to get you away from google and start you thinking about non-baby related stuff will probably help! lots of love xxx
I went shopping with my Mum (didn't do any heavy lifting) but all I could think about was how much my back was playing me up and how much it felt like I was going to get af. Of course you leak during the day from the progesterone pessaries too so sometimes that can feel just like blood. So while shopping I actually had to go to toilet and check for blood. Checked again when I got home! Thank goodness there hasn't been any! So I came home, took some paracetamol and now I'm having a lie down. Trying to calm myself xx
Stay calm I had it too. Try and relax and stay positive! Take care xxx
Am I ok to have a warm bath does anyone know? I'm thinking maybe it will relax my muscles a bit xx
I really don't know at all but I would have thought warm (not hot) would be ok? this link looks useful babycentre.co.uk/x546741/is... xxx
Thank you that settles it. I'm going to have a warm not hot bath. I actually feel a bit better now too, it's slowly easing off... xx
Ah yay glad its easing off! Have a nice relaxing evening xx
Candles and classical music while I'm in the tub are called for. Thank you for listening. I know this won't be my last freak-out xx
lovely! check out Lark Ascending by Vaughan Williams, its my go to relaxing piece of classical music <3 No problem at all, that is exactly what we are all here for 
xxx
Warm but not hot I was advised xx
Thank you. Bath run and full of bubbles, just waiting for it to cool down x
I'm sorry to hear your so anxious I'm sure this is very stressful for you but its good to hear that there isnt any bleeding. hopefully the pains are just your uterus explanding. Stay strong and positive and wishing you all the best xxx
Tugsgirl• in reply to
It sure is. I thought the tww was bad! 😕 X
• in reply toTugsgirl
It's only natural that your going to worry, just make yourself as comfortable as you can and try and rest (sorry I know its easy for me to say) just try and stay in a positive mindxxx
Tugsgirl• in reply to
Feeling a bit better.. taking a deep breath. Tomorrow's another day, another day to freak out all over again 😂 Thank you xx
• in reply toTugsgirl
Glad your feeling a bit better, its only normal for us to freak out at the slightest twinge and expect the worse but you've come such a long way already so just have faith that your body is doing what it need's to do to grow your little one strong and healthy xxx
Oh so sorry to hear dear! ... I'm sure all is fine! Have a good rest and pamper yourself! Hugs! xxx
By the way, you're still having progesterone pills even after the BFP? I don't have any anymore and I don't think doctors prescribed for any here in Denmark. I only have to take folic acid, that it.
Now I'm worried if I'm missing on something. xxx
Thank you everyone. Panic and pain both subsided now..
If anyone can relate and share their experiences here though please feel free to share and offer me that extra comfort 😊 Xx
oh hun, i think its impossible when uv waited this long not to panic! i have heard all kinds of stories like this in pregnancy tho so it probably is just baby twitching away trying to make some room to get comfy!! Im a bit late in my reply so hopefully all the other comments and your warm (but not hot) bath have helped to reassure
sending hugs xxx
I feel so much better than I did earlier, it's very mild now but yes it's so hard not to have a meltdown every time something happens that you don't understand xx
Rest, rest, rest!
Sending you a gentle hug xx
Thank you x
Hope your feeling ok?? Rest when you can xx thinking of you and sending hugs xxx
Oh Hun I had pains and lower back ache around 5-6 weeks too, turned out to be just the uterus expanding but as it pushed down there it felt exactly like af coming! A friend of mine even had brown discharge and bleeding with it, went to A&E, emergency scan at EPAU and everything turned out just fine! So don't panic, get yourself to a scan of things get really bad and rest assured, it's all normal.. I freak out constantly about symptoms.. then the lack of symptoms.. it's never ending lol!! xoxo
Thank you so much for this! I can't tell you how much I panicked! It did ease off a while after I typed out my post only for my back to play up again before bed. The af cramps didn't return though. Having said that I slept well and I've woken up without backache this morning. It wasn't as if it was really painful either, just constant and uncomfortable. Like I said, the day is early yet (6am) but I feel fine this morning 😊 Ps just did a test because of yesterday (and I have loads of them anyway lol) and all looks good! 😊 🤞 🙏🏻 xx
Morning, I am 5 weeks as well and had a few days of pain and back twinges and worried. Then woke up one day feeling fine.. which then worried me 😂
Think after trying for something for so long it seems too good to be true, I am hoping at some point we get to enjoy it xx
Morning Tugsgirl, how are the gremlins this morning? Still freaking you out? How are you feeling, any better? X
Yes lots better this morning. Ask me later though 😂 It's like every day something new freaks me out 😞 I've never in my life felt like I was going to get my period so much and not get it! Thank God!! X
I think the whole journey freaks you out. But when you get to the next stage you become a little bit more crazy and forget what a weirdo you were at the stage before. I'm having a freak out over the pill this morning!!! (Not only is the concept of taking the pill weird!) but I'm wondering whether I can back to back the packets or have to take a break! I know when I have to stop taking it but not if I can combine packs! Now I'm freaking out that I'm freaking out! Ha xx
Ah I feel for you your body will do so many different things now with no real explanation and there isn't much anyone can do to help either. Try to relax but I do remember that scary feeling myself, there are more to come so find ways to cope and stay positive as already mentioned. Xx
Speaking to you guys on here has been a great way of coping; A, to know that I am not alone and B, to know that others have experienced similar things. I did ask a couple of friends who've had babies yesterday but I don't think they fully understand my concerns; they say it's normal, stop worrying. Easy for them to say. This is not a "normal" pregnancy, it's an ivf pregnancy, they don't get that xx
I get it completely the excitement one day and the fear the next. I'm now 14 weeks and think I won't truly enjoy it until 20 weeks which seems forever away. My family are good tho they do just say relax and let your body do what it's designed to do. Hopefully you will get earlier and more scans having an ivf baby and that will put your mind at ease a bit more xx
Welcome to the scary world of being pregnant! AF type pains are definitely normal, long before the baby needs the space your uterus and everything around it is preparing the space for it - so there will be lots of twinges and mild cramp type pains likely in the coming weeks and months. I'm 20 weeks now and I still panic when I feel AF type pains. A positive thought I found helped: if there isn't space for your baby to grow, it won't be able to grow, so it's fantastic that your body knows what to do to get ready for the little one, even if you have no idea what is going on! I think the time to really be concerned is if you have severe or sharp pain or any bleeding. 'Normal' AF type pain likely doesn't mean anything bad. Best wishes for the next few weeks - I've learnt it's all one step at a time xx
Aww thank you. Yea it wasn't so much the severity yesterday it was that it had been pretty much constant all day. And the backache, I don't normally get that so much. I guess I just didn't expect it to be so full on so soon. X
It's a funny thing but it turns out we do get symptoms very early on! I really wasn't expecting to feel so much oddness as soon as I did! X
You're right. I can't remember how many times I read or heard it feels like pmt but I didn't know that meant IDENTICAL! I was expecting the usual; morning sickness etc.. not too worried if I don't get that one lol. My boobs are so tender I can't take my bra off, not even for bed lol. But that's ok. I can live with that. In fact I don't care about any of it as long as my baby is ok xx
Please relax, remember mind over matter☝🏽I had some bad crampon and lower back/ hip pain about 1 week ago. Mind over matter Tugsgirl. Stay strong 💪🏼 body is going through incredible changes this week 😘😘😘😘😘🤗💋💓💓💓💓🦄🔮🦄🔮🦄🦄🔮🦄🔮🦄🔮✨✨✨✨✨
I had awful period cramps up to about 13 weeks and constantly ran to the loo expecting to see blood. It was identical to period pains. Also had bad lower back pain, it was such a hard time I was so paranoid. But I'm now 39 weeks...I know it's hard but keep the faith xxx
I'm also 20 weeks and have driven myself crazy thinking it was all about to end. This is a long post (sorry, got carried away!) but wanted to share my experiences with you.
From the instant I saw the second line on the test strip I've been feeling fairly nuts. That line was so faint that I didn't see it within the time limit and didn't think it had worked. The bottom fell out of my world and I was shaking like a leaf. Then I glanced at the test again and ... was that a second line? Was I imagining it? Was it an evap line? Took photo and sent it to best friend who swore she could see a second line too. Husband said he couldn't see it. Had no idea what to do with myself. This was at 5 in the morning.
Then followed several weeks of shaking, stressing and testing, which soooo gradually became more reassuring but that few weeks seemed to last for YEARS. Especially as it felt EXACTLY like AF was about to start. All the time. Not similar - exactly the same. But those lines were definitely there.
The AF feeling eventually went away with no bleeding and I felt ... nothing really? For a few weeks was then convinced it couldn't be true and that any symptoms I had were down to the progesterone suppositories or were in my head. Had to wear a crop top in bed for support but decided that was just because of the progesterone. Spent a fortune on pregnancy tests and was convinced that the poor Amazon man who was delivering them knew exactly what they were and thought I was nuts.
Calling the clinic to say it was positive felt like I was dreaming.
And then - really strong pain. Low down in my pelvis in an area I'd never felt pain before. What was that? Surely a bad sign? Googled that symptom silly and came up with ... not much. Was very scared, called my mum who also seemed concerned and didn't just dismiss it as I hoped she would. It lasted one evening and was gone in the morning.
At 7 weeks or so I started getting morning sickness. Brilliant! I'm definitely pregnant! I feel really awful and that's great! How little I knew then... that morning sickness slowly turned into hyperemesis gravidarum and I couldn't eat. Nothing. I was sick all day long and decided I was definitely harming the baby and it was all my fault. Felt awful, and guilty, and very, very ill. Had to take strong medication for the sickness which I also decided was definitely going to harm the baby and felt really guilty about.
Went for my seven week scan at the clinic and felt like an idiot when they showed me the image on the screen and I couldn't tell what I was looking at. I pointed at a blob and said, 'what's that bit?' The doctor gave me a funny look and said, 'that's your baby'. Threw up. Cried.
I have now reached 20 weeks and have paid for two private scans along the way just for reassurance. They were worth every penny. I have also bought a Doppler off Amazon for £35 and when I'm stressing I can listen to the heartbeat myself (midwives don't recommend you do this but it helped me!). The Doppler worked from about 12 weeks. I have mystery aches and pains all the time and am only sick once or twice a day now. I am also sporting a baby bump. I can feel him move (he's a boy!) and I STILL can't believe that it worked and it's real. According to the scans he's perfectly fine and nothing I have or haven't done has harmed him in any way.
Hope some of this is useful to you and I haven't just droned on. The only thing you can do is hang in there and trust that your body knows what it's doing, weird pains and all. And if you need to visit the hospital EPU, just do it. When the time comes, if you can afford it, I really recommend private scans as they are wonderful. Every week that goes by feels like a gargantuan milestone. Welcome to pregnancy!
Xxx
If there was a ❤️ symbol to like your post I would. Thank you for making me feel "normal" Yesterday scared me so badly I had a meltdown. This morning I woke up early and felt fine but I can feel my cramping has come on again, and my back is niggling but it's quite mild so I'm not worrying and thanks to posts like yours I won't worry so much anyway! It was one week ago today that was official test day. I've since taken 5 tests including the one the clinic gave me. I didn't think I would be like this but it's comforting to see those two lines, nice strong lines, and I have LOADS of internet cheapies in my underwear drawer left over from ttc. I did one this morning after yesterday's "dramas" just to give me some reassurance. I just keep thinking that maybe, just maybe I will relax a little more after my six week scan next Monday..
My OH will be away for just over a week from the 25th of March and I don't know what I'm going to do without him! He is here to rub my back and wipe my tears, to tell me that everything will be ok. He's my best friend. I do have the support of my friends and family but I swear they think I should stop being silly, stop worrying and just get on with it. They mean well but can't understand because they haven't been here. And you know what I mean by 'here'. I don't need to explain that to anyone else on this journey. I'm so grateful to everyone for their help. I will always help others on here if I can 😊
Thank you xx
Ps a Doppler sounds wonderful!! Why do they advise not getting one? I think I will... xx
I think they don't like it because if you can't find the heartbeat it will cause panic. Personally I haven't experienced this - there are loads of YouTube videos about it and I can find the heartbeat pretty easily though sometimes it takes longer than others as he moves around so much! You can also mistake your own heartbeat for the baby's, but the baby's goes at about 140 to 160 bpm so I know when I've found it. It's like a galloping horse! I have a listen in once or twice a week now if I haven't felt him for a bit. Xx
I will definitely invest in one at a later stage 😊 Xx
My mother in law told me the other day that she didn't know she was pregnant until she went into labour with my husband. She was only 17 at the time but I'm just ... HOW IS THIS POSSIBLE!? So she doesn't understand my experience at the other end of the spectrum in the slightest.
My friends and family (who all seem to pop out babies with no effort at all) do try but most of it has stayed in my head and on forums to be honest. I definitely relaxed a bit after the first scan (until the next random mystery pain!).
Xx
My Mum keeps saying "Vic if you're like this now what are you going to be like later??" And "I didn't even know I was pregnant with you until I was 3 months and I was up ladders painting and all sorts". Yes Mum. Well done. I love her so bloody much but she just swears I'm obsessed by it all. I probably am but I know none of you guys would blame me for that! Xx
Tugsgirl this could mean a number of things I am sure. The fact you still got BFP is good. Call clinic and move your 6 wks scan forward so they can see what's going in.🤞🍀xx
They said there was no point because at this stage baby will most likely be too small to see. I only have a week and a day until scan. They told me if pain becomes severe (it isn't it's just uncomfortable) or I bleed (I haven't) to get checked out at the hospital. In the meantime they told me to try not to worry so much x
Hi Hun, I'm glad to see that you're over your panic of yesterday. The AF pains are completely normal and is just your uterus contracting in the same way it does when you have your period, except now it is contracting because it is growing. Your pregnancy is well and truly on track now, so there is no chance of AF coming. I panicked when my AF-type pains stopped at about 10 weeks, but I am now 17 weeks and all is fine. I still get the very occasional AF type pain or other kind of cramp and then find that my bump grows almost immediately!
Dopplers are good, but I can totally understand why midwives recommend not using them. I got one thinking to myself that I wouldn't panic if I couldn't find a heartbeat but you just do. Luckily, my next door neighbour is a midwife and after a particularly bad meltdown where I spent about half an hour looking for the heartbeat, I summoned her and she found it immediately. However, the stress caused in that half hour was so much more than the worry you naturally feel between scans and midwife visits, that I have vowed never to use mine again and it is back in its box, ready to be listed on eBay!
I can, however, wholeheartedly recommend a good sleep bra. I got mine from Mothercare and it has made sleeping so much more comfy, as has my widgey pillow that I got last week! I also invested in maternity bras straight away as my boobs became so big and heavy that it was one of the first things I needed.
Good luck and try to stay calm! Xxxx
Glad your feeling better lovely xxx
Just seen this honey hope you OK. Totally understand why you freaking out and I hope some of the comments have reassured you..take care xxx
Honestly Vic this period should have a name like the tww but maybe something that sums up how torturous it is lol. It's the tww and then some!! 😂 Xx
Thanks for your post, it's nice to know that others have the same worries and that there are so many reassuring stories. I'm lying here (on holiday in Thailand so it's night time - yes I know, probably crazy travelling this far so early on) with really strong period type cramps and just freaking out. I've had mild ones pretty much since my bfp 3 weeks ago, but today is particularly bad.
If you have bleeding in combination with these pains then see if you can get into an EPU near to you? Just for your peace of mind. I had an internal scan at 6 weeks and they could see the baby by then. Also, just wanted to assure you that pain doesn't always mean the end. After 6-7 weeks I started getting period like pains and I'm on week 17 now and still get them every day, it's all the stretching and shifting your body is doing most of the time. That said though, do get into EPU if you can, if only to put your mind at ease. Good luck! Xxxx
I hope your feeling better and I'm hoping it will all be ok for you x how are you feeling? X
Ive still had mild cramps today but they didn't feel like af cramps and they weren't too bad. My back has been niggly but not painful or anything so all in all much better 😊 x
Ps I did a pregnancy test this morning and got two strong lines. I've been calm today 😊 X
Hi Tugsgirl, how are you feeling today? I hope you're feeling reassured by everything the other ladies have said but it's so hard when you're experiencing it because it's taken so much to get to this point. I hope your bath has helped ease the af feelings and you're feeling more positive this evening. It's really difficult when you get your BFP, you want to be happy and excited but the truth is it's terrifying so don't beat yourself up for feeling the way you are. Just try to stay as calm as you possibly can. You're doing great x x x
Thank you MommaBear. Yes I feel so much better today. Everything feels much more "normal" and after hearing that this type of thing happens to others has really eased my mind. I think my baby must be taking after it's Daddy already - he likes to play me up too! 😂
I hope you're ok xx
Hi Tugsgirl. Didn't answer before, as I was waiting to hear that, fingers crossed, all is settling down again. Continue to have a rest when you can. Thinking of you BIG! Diane
Yes much better now. I still have cramps but they're mild and don't feel like af is coming anytime soon 😊 I had two very strong lines on pregnancy test this morning 💪🏻 So I take comfort in that. I was eating a banana today and suddenly it made me feel sick, I actually retched! It seems I've gone off bananas 🍌 😕
Hi Tugsgirl. Brilliant! You have to remember that your womb is just starting to move upwards and can cause all sorts of nasty aches and pains. Glad your banana made you feel sick - ha ha!! Not long before you have your scan, which will reassure you further. Diane
One week to go! Can't wait! 😁 X
Hi Tugsgirl. Awww! You will get to meet your little "bean" -how exciting. I shall be the fly on the wall looking on! Diane
Thanks Diane 😊😊
xx
How you getting on Tugsgirl l?
This is headwrecking isn't it. Plus I'm trying to be miss calm at work and it's only been one day!!!
It is! It's worse than the tww! I have my scan a week today, just trying to keep it together until then lol x
How many weeks are you today if counting from first day of last period? X
Just realised you 5 weeks at weekend! Bet you can't wait to get to the scan! X
I used an online ivf calculator which takes into account transfer date etc.. according to that I'm 5 + 3 but I know for sure clinic said I'll be about 6 weeks by Sunday (they don't do scans on a Sunday though) xx
Is that the same as counting from first day of last period? X
I'm not sure to be honest... I never had my period because I was due on Tuesday 21st of February but obviously due to meds that didn't happen and I had my fet the following day on Wednesday the 22nd of February. All I know is it's been a really long time since I had a period, probably the twenty something of January?
If you are trying to work out your dates try an online calculator too, it should at least give you an idea 💡 👍🏻 😊 X
Oh yea of course! Yea I've done that and I'm 4 weeks and 3 days I think? Apparently due mid November. I'm crossing lots of fingers, touching lots of wood and saying lots of prayers!!!!
Also checking in the toilet a lot too! 😬 xxx
Yep me too lol 😂 xx
The toilet thing or when due?! lol 😂 x
The toilet thing 😂 It's an odd thing when you don't get your period, good obviously, but odd! Still feels so surreal x
I agree. Never been here before! Have to calculated your supposed due date?
I don't want to think too far ahead and jinx it but did look at that! X
November 10th but I know that can change with scans x
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