I can't sleep...

[emu2016]

It's begun. The sleepless nights.

Those nights where only your faithful friend google will tell you 'what are the chances of an embryo sticking inside me and making me pregnant' or 'if I take three weeks off work will everyone know I'm having treatment'.

Just me and the little glow from my iPhone between 3am and 5am. Some nights I ask the same logical questions each night like "How successful is DE IVF for a 35 year old woman with size 7 feet and brown hair." Some nights I ask something completely random like "will I ever stop worrying about if it will work?".

Our treatment doesn't begin until April. I've a way to go. So today, while shopping for baskets to keep my vegetables in (it's the small things that take my mind off things and stop me reading every book and piece of paper I've already been given!) I spotted this book. And decided to start writing down my night time thoughts. Writing about why I have them rather than searching for answers.

What are the chances I sleep straight through tonight?

[Leesalou]

I hopefully start my cycle in April too

I too have been over thinking the hole situation, drives you crazy doesn't it.

Xx

[emu2016 in reply to Leesalou]

I thought I'd learnt after my first cycle! But no....! What a nightmare! Stay in touch if you're starting April! x

[Leesalou in reply to emu2016]

Willfo I'll follow you , (on here not like really follow you as that would be weird lol)

I'm just waiting to have a blood test 24th march then on 27th to ring up and hopeful have it confirm that I'm now amune to the rubella injection I had week ago and if that's all good I can start, but god my brain is driving me crazy with the what's ifs.

The first time round wasn't as bad as it was private and eveything was done so quicky,

And because I've my gyno missed the note to say my blood test back in June said I wasn't amune to rubella until my last visit it's been delayed, but they say good things come to those that wait,

Good luck with your cycle when you start xx

[Leesalou in reply to Leesalou]

P.s I've got this book off Etsy me and my ivf to fill in this time it's a lovely little book which I'm hoping to one day show them when there older if this cycle works,

Xx

[emu2016 in reply to Leesalou]

Did you post a picture of the book the other day? I saw it then couldn't find it again!!

[Leesalou in reply to emu2016]

No I didnt let me find the link for it xx

[Leesalou in reply to Leesalou]

etsy.com/uk/listing/4549018...

This is it hopefully the link works

Xx

[emu2016 in reply to Leesalou]

Great thanks! Is it ruled lines inside? X

[Leesalou in reply to emu2016]

I don't think I can take pics an out on here.

It's got page to put photo of you and your partner , a bit about you both ,

Doctors

Consultant

Diagnosis

Date started,

Med start date, date med and dosage, section for how it made you feel,

Place to put a photo of your meds,

Length of treatment

Stimulation

Expense page,

Colour me happy

Date and number of follicles

Important dates

Trigger time

Retrieval day can place a photo of you wish

Important stuff eggs collectedfertilised

Frozen grading of eggs,

Page for stuff your partner says

Transfer day again another place for a photo date time etc

How you felt no if embroys etc,

Another place for a photo,

Food avoided the dreaded 2 week wait

Foods didn't avoid,

2 week little diary of things you done on your 2ww

Testing day page,

Beta levels, and a section if it's successful for scan pic then another space for 18-22 week scan

Notes about pregnancy and then space for the arrivals,

I can't wait to start filling in, it's a little expensive, but it be a lovely keepsake xx

[emu2016 in reply to Leesalou]

Missing blood tests was an issue for us too! Things you don't need!

Thanks for not actually following me in a stalker way... I'd never get any sleep then! xx

[Leesalou in reply to emu2016]

I've had that also quite a few re test, my hubbies test missing as we are at different doctor,

my NHS journey hasn't been he best well at the start it's getting there now though,

Have you tried reflexology that's suppose to be good and to ease your mind,

Xx

[allieb21]

I have started a journal too as my counsellor said to try it! I'm looking at starting in April too. AF is due around the 5th! Maybe cycle buddies? X

[emu2016 in reply to allieb21]

I start my injections 6th April and come off the pill about 9th. 5 weeks of injections... so we'll def be going through it together! Cycle buddies - yes please! x

[allieb21 in reply to emu2016]

I'm on short protocol so we will start together but I'll be done before you. Good luck xxx

[emu2016 in reply to allieb21]

Short protocol is very fast. I was on that last time. Made it all the way to egg collection. My schedule is a little different since doing DE IVF. x

[allieb21 in reply to emu2016]

Too fast sometimes! I didn't get to finish my 2ww as got my period on due date 😬 Hopefully this time that won't happen! Hope we both get our BFP x

[emu2016 in reply to allieb21]

That would be lovely! I'll keep an eye out for you starting x

[Leesalou in reply to allieb21]

We could also be cycle buddies too, x

[emu2016 in reply to allieb21]

Look at how much has changed since then AllieB! xx

[Krikri]

I thought I was the only one to have sleepless nights!

And as a natural worrier, I find it even harder to try to keep my mind away from the treatment. I'm on my 2WW at the moment and it's the worst time, trying to figure out if the embryo has implemented or not, whether I'm tiring myself or not eating the right food. Everything has become a question mark.

[emu2016 in reply to Krikri]

OMG. I hadn't even thought what I would be like if I got to the 2WW!

And I saw MommaBear16 comment here this weekend that the wait for the scan is worse than the 2WW!

I guess you have to tell yourself worrying when no embryo just affects you. But now you've got a little embryo that you're worrying too. And yes... it's really easy dishing out the stop worrying advice!

Always best to share your worries though. Big hugs xx

[MommaBear16]

Oh emu... I bet you're too excited to write in your book to sleep!! I would recommend staying off your phone in the night if you can help it though my love. I know you have lots of questions but the chances are googling will just throw up even more. I'm saying this after I did exactly that through my first cycle 🙈 So I'm one to talk!!! I really hope you start getting some sleep. This whole process is exhausting enough without it!! x x x

[emu2016 in reply to MommaBear16]

It's like I didn't learn anything from my first round of IVF! But I've got so many more questions that didn't apply last time.

Staying off my phone is definitely a tip I need to take on board. I don't feel excited all the time... but it's certainly there. How are you doing? Almost a week in now? x

[MommaBear16 in reply to emu2016]

Haha it's great that you're so excited! and it's really hard to switch it off, I really feel for you! I'm good thanks, back to work tomorrow and quite looking forward to the distraction! I'll be 5dp transfer tomorrow... I test a week on Friday - yikes!!! hahaha x x x

[emu2016 in reply to MommaBear16]

I keep wondering whether Work would be a welcome distraction for me too. You take it easy at work. Hope you don't have too stressful a job (if such a thing exists!) x

[baby2016]

Love this post! It's like reading about me! Haha! The sleepless nights and constant early hours googling drives me mad, but you still have to do it don't you! I'll half wake and out of no where a random question pops into my head and then I have to google it!

Good luck with your upcoming cycle xxx

[emu2016 in reply to baby2016]

The best thing about this post is that it's made me feel less alone! Hope your journey is going well xx

[baby2016 in reply to emu2016]

Think we all end up insomniacs! 😂 Ivf would be so much easier if our brains could turn off like the male brain as soon as your head hits the pillow! That would be heaven! xx

[emu2016 in reply to baby2016]

I am currently listening to snoring; yes! 😂😂😂 x

[baby2016 in reply to emu2016]

😂😂😂 love it! xx

[Sunshine09]

Hopefully if my results are the way I would like them to be this week I to will be starting in April, I to have the sleepless nights asking will this work and I am 45, but if I go for it, I promise to myself I am going to be 100% positive, I am more scared of giving up than of failing, I am putting the doubts and fears to the bk of my mind, you can do it to xx

[emu2016 in reply to Sunshine09]

Good luck with your journey! Let's stay in touch if we start at similar time! Where are you based? x

[Sunshine09 in reply to emu2016]

Yes we will do, I am based in north Ayrshire xx

[emu2016 in reply to Sunshine09]

Great. Let me know how you go on with your results x

[Sunshine09 in reply to emu2016]

Will do x

[bfrida]

I'm 33 and I will undergo the de treatment soon. Feel nervous about it. It's my first time, I have never done it before. I failed 4 cycles of ivf with my eggs.

I'm a young woman, nothing seems to be good but not with me. I don't know why but ivf didn't work for us, and probably it's my problem.

Anyway, my husband supports me and he believes in me and my success. We are ready to start...

wish you also a good luck and successful journey

[emu2016 in reply to bfrida]

Lovely that you're all ready to start. Good luck to us all! x

[bfrida in reply to emu2016]

thanks, we've already made a first step. Everything seems to be all right. We signed a contract a few days ago. I don't know why but I think my dream will come true and I'll be a good mother.

[Tw1986]

Hi this post made me laugh cause I do exactly the same thing! Google everything the most stupidest of things and read my paper work from dr over and over thinking what else can I google about ivf lol. I haven't had dates yet but husband has second semen sample on wed then just wait till initial appointment comes through, good luck with yours I'm hoping to start April may time prob may xx

[emu2016 in reply to Tw1986]

Excellent! Stay in touch! And don't google! xx