I can not believe the fact that I'm about to make an appointment for a fertility clinic. I feel horrible. I am completely terrified.
I had hopes that this would never come. I feel like I can wait longer until something happens naturally, but inwardly I know that will not happen.
From the list of clinics that we had, I chose the one that seemed best to me. Last night I had a long conversation with my husband and we both decided that it was time. We are young, we can still keep trying, but we do not want to spend our whole lives in this. We have more plans. With babies and without babies. We do not know how long this will take us. I am afraid that the situation will get worse. I know of people who have taken six or seven years. My heart is broken in thousands of pieces.
Right now I have the phone in my hand. My husband is at his job and I was supposed to do this part. But I can not. It's easy, I know, but not for me.
I can only think of the fact that when we got married everything was so perfect. I was not even thinking that having babies could become stressful. For me, they would come as a beautiful surprise.
But not now. Oh, God, I'm so scared.
I know this must be out of place, but I know some of you can understand me.