Worried!

Ok so maybe I was kidding myself this 2ww is horrendous, so many different things going though my head!!

I'm having period pains coming and going everyday which clearly isn't a good sign! My boobs are so tender from the drugs, but it's making it sore to sleep. And obv knowing that they put bk a 4cell and a 7 cell embryo one grade 2 and one grade 3 just doesn't give me any hope!

I'm really trying to stay positive but it's so hard and I'm getting to the point where I just don't want to test because I don't want to know the out come!

We have none frozen so we have only had one free go one the NHS, and now the thought of having to find the money if this doesn't work is stressing me out.

Sorry to grumble on to you I think I've just woke up from an awful nights sleep and needed to moan.

I hope everyone is doing better than me.

Xxx

36 Replies

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  • If you need to moan this is the place to do it!!

    I think all of us in this 2WW will be going thru similar I'm sure. I am trying so hard not to symptom spot and overthink things but sometimes it's impossible.

    I know it's hard but try to concentrate on the here and now and not on what might happen next week. I keep telling myself one day at a time.

    Hopefully being back at work will be a distraction for you, give you something else to concentrate on.

    Know we are all here to support you thru this. Message me if you need to chat any time.

    Sending ((hugs)) xx

  • Your so right Hun!! I'm hoping going back to work will keep my mind occupied. I hope you are doing ok lovely? Xxx

  • Oh hun sending you huge hugs... try to stay calm if u can although I know exactly how u feel. Is it possible to do something nice today to keep ur mind on something else? Hugs xxx

  • Thank you hun, it really is so hard, I've been so chilled and not stressed but I can't stop things going round in my head! Internet surfing to see people in my situation lol and although I'm finding some lovely stories it's just not making me feel different lol.

    Well I'm back to work today I just hope it's stress free lol.

    How are you doing? Xxx

  • Hey, we haven't started yet but im already having the 'only one go on nhs then where are we going to find the money IF it doesn't work' worry so I'm sure your not alone there .... but stress is no good for that little embryo tryna grow in your belly try and put the next cycle out of your mind and focus on the the now. And everyone is different them period pains could be a positive sign ! And lastly, the only one I can actually advise from experience, the sore boobs, if you haven't already , try getting a wireless / soft cup bra to sleep in, just gives them a bit of extra support definitely helps me. Good luck and try and stay positive x

  • hey,

    thank you for your reply. i will try the bra situation and see if that helps.

    I would like to wish you lots luck on your journey :-) xx

  • Hi Emma Jane - I'm feeling exactly the same. Due to test on Saturday but thinking of bringing it forward to Thursday as I can't bear the thought of getting my period before I test. I'm having all of my usual period symptoms and although my friend keeps telling me that you can have them and still be pregnant its not helping (also doesn't help that said friend is pregnant from her first IVF round).

    We had 2 middle grade embryos put back and nothing in the freezer - my nhs funding entitles us to 1 fresh, 1 frozen so not sure what the policy is if you have no frozen.

    I just can't bear the thought of going back to the way I felt before this - it shouldn't be this hard but for some reason it is. Sure we'll get there in the end but at what financial/emotional cost (sorry, that got a bit dark...).

    Crossing fingers and toes for all of us xx

  • hey Jwed80

    thank you for your reply, Its so horrible. i am the same, nhs give 1 fresha dn 1 frozen but because ive got none frozen so are not entitled to any more free go's!! and it frustrates me that i loose out on the FET!! after all the bloody tax ive paid since starting work at 15years old and now im 30 really grits my shit!!

    how many cells did your embies have?

    Keep strong yourself, both my best mates tested a couple of days earlier so no harm in doing so, and they both caught on there 1st ivf go as they also had no free goes. god its so hard isnt it!!

    xxx

  • Ahh, so that answers my question then about what happens if no frozen - nothing!!! Thanks NHS. Don't get my started on my local CCG...

    I don't know how many cells they had to be honest, they didn't tell me and I didn't ask - I was going for a blissful ignorance approach, not googling anything, etc. The embies were 4BC I think - again, I haven't googled to see what that means.

    I just feel like all my excitement and optimism of last week has gone now and I'm terrified of test day. I'll see how the next 2 days go and if I can hold out until Saturday I will - at least then if its a BFN I can cry and not have to worry about going to work.

    Really hope we're both wrong and get our nice BFPs xxx

  • awww bless you, im the same, ive actually booked the test day off but like i said earlier im actually so scared to test.

    im so worried that the pessaries are working properly too, think i need to swap over to verginally.

    I have everything crossed for us to get a BFP!!!!

    xxx

  • Am good thanks feeling much more positive and chilled this cycle.. for now at leastπŸ˜‰hope ur day improves xxx

  • Hey hon

    If it's any consolation u have had 2 x top grades frozen put back and not a symptom in sight and I am 5dp5dt, last time I got a BFP I had cramping and spotting going on but we sadly lost him at 17w.

    Like you scared to test am 42 soon 43 this is out 5th go all privately funded so the funds are at their maximum. Here's hoping for us all xxx

  • Hello Tamtam1

    Thank you so much for your reply. im so sorry to hear about you little one you lost, what a horrible heartbreaking thing to go through, I am having everything crossed for you this time round will be your time.

    I havent had any spotting but all my friends did and went on to get there bfp. the whole process is just driving me insain i just wish they put the embryo in and glued it to the womb and then we wouldnt have this problem lol.

    I hope you are doing ok xxx

  • Oh bless you Emma! I hope you've had a better morning! You're right it is horrendous and no matter how much you try to be 'zen' your brain and your body will play tricks on you!

    I am sure your body is taking the very best care of your embies. Try to distract yourself the best you can and keep the faith my love, you're doing amazing - stay strong!! x x x

  • thank you mommabear, i came back to work today but wish i hadnt! im leaving at 3.30 tho so cant wait to get home and in my pjs lol.

    xxx

  • Hope you're all settled now and feeling much better ☺️ x x x

  • i sure am if only i could post a picture haha. xxx

  • Its great to have the forum to get rid of those moans and groans....we all do it! You're right it is hard to keep going at being positive all of the time, its bound to waver now and then and lack of sleep sure doesnt help! If you're not at work, how about a good boxset to take it easy to take your mind off things for an hour or so.....says me who spend her 2ww on google! Ha ha ha Good luck with it all!xx

  • haha bless you bloody google drives you mad, and when i type something in but dont get the answer you want lol.

    im actually back to work today, but ive asked to leave at 3.30 so going to go home.

    I hope you are doing ok tho lovely.

    xxx

  • Hi Hun,

    Thinking of you and sending you lots of positive thoughts xxx The 2ww is the worst part :0(

    Good luck xxx

  • thanks hun. xxx

  • I'm exactly the same Emma, but also had hot flushes starting from yesterday. I'm not sure if this is a good or bad sign. Dr google is not helping me. I had hot flushes before my ivf for about 3-4 years, I think it's something to do with hormone levels. Period cramps throughout the day. My breasts are so tender particularly in the morning, I'm continuing with doing the pessaries rectally, think I've got the hang of it not. It's like bloody torture and we are not even half way. Think your embie will be starting to implant now. Hope you're ok.xx

  • Yeah all your symptoms are the same and the flushes and tender boobs are the drugs already had that clarified so don't panic with that as for period pains that I'm finding is a good sign I believe. Just finished work early so I can go home, yeah I'd like to think at least one is embedding now. Hope your ok xx

  • Emma i am sending you the biggest hug u can get, with lots of love and baby dust. Stay positive u will be fine we all here for you anything u want to chat message me xxxx

  • Thank you lovely, I'm just finished work early, can't wait to get home!! Xxxx

  • Please don't try and read anything into symptoms. I know it's easy to say and hard to do but it could be signs of af it could be signs of a bfp it could and most likely be the drugs messing with your body and head. Don't try and predict anything until test date and I will keep my fingers crossed for you xx

  • Thank you for your reply, and yes your right I do need to stopped thinking the worse but it's a lot harder than I thought!! As it's all "what ifs" and I'm only 4 days in lol still got bloody ages!! Xx

  • Hey Hun, I had a courtesy call from the clinic today to see how I was getting on and she told me not to overthink symptoms (I'm having absolutely zero feelings apart from some spotting on day 2 &3) because she said everyone and every pregnancy is different so you can only tell on the test day. So as hard as it is, we need to try and stay strong!!! We are in this together and at least we have eachother on this forum to get us through πŸ™πŸΌβ€ xxx

  • I had a courtesy call today too! She was like just ringing to see how you are - yep Im completely fine and nothing to report ha ha xx

  • It does give you that little boost and it's nice to hear from the nurses. I can't decide if it's a good sign or a bad sign but whichever way I'll find out on Sunday! Haha! Xx

  • Yep me too! Sunday needs to hurry up ha ha xx

  • i was just saying to Gurty123 your clinics are so lovely calling you. mine just said ring us with your result so we can update your notes and let me go on my way lol xxx

  • I didn't get one last time, just this time. But it was lovely to hear from them 😊 Xx

  • I didn't really know what to say to her mind ha ha I wasn't expecting anything but it's nice to know they actually seem to care a little bit xx

  • That was the same for I know we are both were at the same clinic. I didn't think they were that supportive in the 2ww and our debrief appointment after Bfn was shocking. I couldn't wait to get out of the clinic. It really upset me the lack of care we received

  • How you doing how long till test now ? Xx

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