Thank you to everyone who offered support the other day really appreciated it. Unfortunately turns out Friday 13th was unlucky for me besides the snow and ice and not being able to sleep due to the worst indigestion ever.
Smaller twin hasn't grown at all since the last scan. So probably going to lose it. They said they'll check again at the 12 weeks scan. More waiting for something awful to happen.
And all they could say, each time I asked a question about it is that the first one is fine like that's supposed to make it hurt less like the other one doesn't matter. The scanographer pressed so hard on my belly I'm surprised she didn't do any damage. The most unsympathetic people just talking to me like the one I'm losing/lost doesnt matter. And they just say it happens all the time like that makes it easier. Now I have to go to work and pretend I'm normal. Great. Knew it was too much to hope that things would be fine from here on out. Honestly there is no consoling me and I didn't even want my husband to talk to me afterwards I just want to give up and I know that sounds dramatic and I'm lucky to even have one but I don't feel any better for it right now. It feels like the world is ending.