Fertility Network UK
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*sensitive update* - Is anyone else going mad waiting for 20 week scan?

We just had our private scan at 17+3 weeks and all looks good with baby.

My placenta might be low lying so we have to check again if it changes at 20 week scan which she says happens often, so not to worry.

And the gender is a girl!!! We are totally shocked and had not thought for a second it was a girl....

Feel a lot calmer....😊💕

Thank you everyone for your kind responses to my previous post below.

Xxx

Original message -

I felt totally fine after the reassurance of our 13 week scan and all seemed fine.

But worry is creeping in again as 13wks to 20 wks is quite a long wait to see if everything is still ok.

A good friend is also pregnant and they forked out for the Harmony scan to do indepth testing and this made me panic a bit that we didn't do it! She is all excited she could get the all clear at 11 weeks!

I didn't want to pay for this scan as I felt it may just cause more stress for us and there was no indication that we needed it....

Just want to know if anyone else has found this patch tough....

Just wish I could get more regular looks to see if all is growing normally in there....

Sorry for the rant.

Xxx

73 Replies
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Your definitely not alone. I found that stretch really hard.

I booked in for a gender scan at 16 weeks as I was too impatient to find out what the baby was and I knew I would need reassurance in between.

Hopefully it will start to speed up a bit for you xx

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Thanks 😘 I might crack and book a scan..

I am 16+3 now

Xxx

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Your similar dates to what I was last year. I would of just had my gender scan on last years bank holiday. You should have the midwife again soon? If so she checked my babies heartbeat then so that helped a lot xx

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Yes I think anything for reassurance would help a lot.

Feel like a bit of a drama queen....but the anxiety crept in!

Xxx

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Your definitely not a drama queen. I was a nightmare during pregnancy so it’s totally normal (I hope 😂) xx

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Ah thanks hon. I feel like I am loosing my mind. Good to know I am not alone!

Xxx

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Totally understand, I’m 15 weeks and can’t wait for the next scan. This journey is constant waiting ! Maybe we should both get another scan xx

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Well my OH is not having any of it!! He is saying we should wait like everyone else haha xxx

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Hey love, I think all the scans are really stressful too. I forked our for the harmony and had another scan on Saturday. Waiting for the blood results now before the 12-13 wk scan. Chances are everything is A ok for you! It’s hard to remember that though and I have to keep checking this “chances of miscarriage” site all the time. 20 weeks is the big one when I know most women finally settle into things and I will be nervous for that too! How are you doing otherwise? Did you manage to get a job? X

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Ps I can recommend the clinic I had the extra scan / test if you want in a private message?

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Oh yes please! We had one at 11 weeks but happy to get a recommendation from you too! Xxx

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Honestly I am doing that all the time....just such a pain when I want to be enjoying it all.

My OH is not keen on getting another reassurance scan....I am ok not knowing the gender it is just the general health of my baby I want to be sure of....

I have had quite low blood pressure so not sure if that is why I am a bit more anxious.

I didn't get the job - but am excited as I am starting a course in September to retrain. I wanted a more secure career for after the baby is born. :)

Can't believe you are that far along already! I am glad I am not the only one getting private scans in between. 😊

Yes come on 20 weeks!!! Feel that will hopefully be a milestone that might make me settle a bit more...

:)

Xxx

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Yes, we are a month apart! This time is flying by. Sorry about the job but sounds like you have a great plan for the future. I’m freelance so doing tax return (early first time ever) so I can look into the maternity allowance. All these extra things on top of trying to stay calm, healthy, positive! Hope time passes quickly til the scan and the course distracts you a bit from the worry / googling. X

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Yes I have lots of study to do now before it starts and it is such a great distraction!

Thanks for your kind responses :) xxx

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I have super low blood pressure (which I do anyway when not pregnant) and all the Midwife’s have reassured me that it’s not a problem for baby, just need to be careful getting up quickly and must keep hydrated. I do get a bit lightheaded sometimes and see spots, so I am still trying to be very good about no lifting etc and standing up slowly. Also sticking to no hot baths and not too hot showers and getting plenty of rest. But I really don’t think you need to worry about your blood pressure. Mine is so low that before I was pregnant the machine at the dr surgery told the gp to send me to hospital during a routine check- he took one look at me and laughed and told me low blood pressure is much better than high! 😂

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Yes that is what my friend just said - low is better than high - I went on the tube yesterday and was so lightheaded!

My mum told me she had very low blood pressure when she was pregnant with me - and not with my 2 brothers.....we had our scan yesterday and it is a girl - so maybe it is a girl low blood pressure thing in our family!

Hope you are managing ok!

Xxx

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My blood pressure was slightly on the low side yesterday and I'd been feeling quite light headed on Saturday (I suspect through lack of water). Like Lizzie, I was advised to keep well hydrated. It will be interesting to see if I too have a girl! Xx

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Haha maybe it is an old wives tale too about low bb and girls.

I actually didn't hear about keeping hydrated specifically for this - so thanks to you both.

Water with me all day today.

I am still in shock we are having a girl! 🤣

Xxx

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It's fun guessing though! I'm pretty much 50/50 when I go through the old wives tales so we'll see!

Yep, lots of water for pregnant ladies in general but I didn't know it was good for low BP!

A lovely shock 😁 xx

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I know it is so funny these stories how to guess symptom spotting etc.

And really just want a healthy one whatever gender.

Xxx

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Mine is a girl too- but as I say my blood pressure is low no matter what!

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I was exactly the same and ended up paying for a gender scan at 16 weeks just so it didn't feel so long between 12 and 20 weeks I also paid for another scan at 30 weeks. It's so hard not to cave in xxx

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I did the same as you! It’s so hard to wait xx

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I caved! Haha my OH agreed we can book one next week! I can breath a bit more easy.....

Xxz

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Oh good! I don’t think the men understand how anxious we feel about the whole thing xx

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So true! Xxx

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I also didn't pay for the testing and even turned down the 12 week scan testing. I always think what will be will be. I currently have a 5 month old who is thriving xxx

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Yes well I think it can make you more stressed. Ah congrats on youe little 5 month old :)

Xxx

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Totally feel your pain! Waiting for the 12 weeks scan was a doddle compared to the 20 week scan wait. We chose not to do any anomely testing between and also had chosen not to do the 12 week tests (downs etc) as I thought with my age they would just put us in high risk anyway which would add to the stress. Luckily I am consultant led so when I had an appointment at 17 weeks she was able to do a really basic scan (couldn't check measurements, only presence of heartbeats). They check for all anomalies at the 20 weeks as my midwife said they are much more accurate at this stage - thankfully everything was ok. I discussed having a proper scan between with my husband and he was also against it, I also seem to remember discussing in detail about getting a doppler machine but we both decided I'd probably go overboard and be checking their heartbeats every 10 minutes!! 😁 I think if I didn't have that basic scan at 17 weeks I probably would have got a private one done, I think they are only about £50 for a basic one just to check heartbeat etc. Hope everything else if going ok xx

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Oh we have had the same discussions - dopler would drive me over the edge totally. I would panic if I couldn't hear it.

Just convinced my OH to let me book for next week - honestly I think he wanted me to stop going on about it so caved in!

So glad everyone is responding with similar experiences.

What are we all like.

My OH said - remember our parents didn't have scans at all!!

🤣

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Ha ha! That made me laugh - my mum thinks all the checks and scans are crazy. She keeps saying - in my day, it was pregnancy test, labour then baby!! I think dopplers are a bad idea - my midwife couldn't even find one of our twins heartbeats last week at 34 weeks as the heart was right below the placenta (apparently the placenta also has a 'pulse') so she couldn't tell the difference. Had to go to get scanned in hospital, thankfully all was fine. Glad I never got the doppler in the end 😊

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Yes me too - I want a little bit of reassurance, but realise I also have to let nature take it's course.

Ah.....haha breath :)

Xxx

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I totally struggled with pretty much everything until I began feeling my baby move a lot! I had 3 scans at the EPC before 12 weeks & was that scared of something going wrong I didn't even meet my midwife until 16 weeks ( irresponsible I know ) . I was really honest with my midwife about how anxious I was & she was brilliant & listened to the baby's heartbeat. At my 20 week scan the sonographer was lovely & explained everything but I could barely look at the screen until the very end after she said everything was fine & asked me if I wanted to know the sex. If you feel a private scan now would reassure you, I'd go for one. I didn't enjoy hardly any of the first 21 weeks & really wish I had of done. X

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Yes I think the scan is so weird as immediately after I am so relaxed and happy, but then it fades and I get more anxious as time goes on.

The one I found is £59 so not that bad for some peace of mind.

Seems like people do relax a bit more past the 20 weeks.

Xxx

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That's exactly how I found the scans. I'd be happy & relaxed for a couple of days then back to worrying! Glad you have found a scan ... Well worth £59 for peace of mind 😘 x

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Ah yes I think so - should hopefully calm me down for a bit.

Health and wellbeing rather than gender is the priority.

Xxx

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It was something I hadn't realised how that early reassurance gives way to more worry at every stage I had only thought as far as the positive result at last now that baby is kicking well the worry is less though Don't think we will relax until he or she is safely here all being well your 20 week scan will be an amazing experience x

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I know me too - we have not been super relaxed this whole way so far. Still enjoying the miracle - but stressed to pass every milestone.

:)

Xxx

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Hey. I have my 20 week scan later this week and it feels like it has been a long wait since my 12 week one. It’s just a funny transition time- I get a few flutters which I suppose is baby but could just be all the bowel stuff going on!

We had a Harmony test but to be honest it only looks at chromosomal stuff and the 20 week scan looks for structural issues that may be unrelated to chromosomes so just because we’ve had the Harmony does not mean we are at lower risk.

I didn’t get another private scan- it wouldn’t give me that much reassurance although I can understand that it would help some people to see heartbeat and baby developing. No wrong choice! I will plan to have another scan at around 32 weeks though privately to check on growth of baby. X

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Ah best of luck.

I did research the Harmony and agree with what you are saying. I think the 20 week is the biggie and will be amazing to be past that and HALF WAY! 😀😀😀

Hope you can relax a bit as it gets closer.

Xxx

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I'm so glad to find people like me!! I'm 14+3 and just anxious all the time. I'm slightly lucky (or unlucky, depending how you look at it) as I need to get a cervical length check in 2 weeks time due to LLETS procedure in the past. I have to say the care I have been receiving has been fantastic and I had a few extra scans arranged by the hospital to ease my anxiety in the 1st 12 week. Hope everyone has a smooth pregnancy xxx

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Ah yes any scans help to relax and reassure afterwards.

Kind of bonkers that the first wait is 12 weeks for most people. We had a 7 week and 11 week scan before our 12 week nhs check up.

Booked a private scan for next Wednesday to ease my mind. I am flying home the week after so will be good to know all looks ok.

Likewise hope the rest of your pregnancy goes smoothly!

Xxx

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YES!!!!!! I'm 18 weeks and still have 2 very long weeks to wait . These last 5 weeks have been agony.

So much time to worry and obsess over every detail.

Once I start feeling movement I can relax untill then relying in scan for reassurance.

It's understandable why we drive ourselves crazy inbetween scans we have all put so much in yo these lil beans we will naturally worry more.

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Yes I found this wait the hardest - esp as I cannot feel movement so...keep thinking what is going on in there 🤣

We booked a gender scan - I honestly just want to see the health is ok with the baby rather than finding out the gender - but suppose that is an added bonus.

Hope you can get through the next few weeks.

Xxx

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Yes, totally with you on this one! Last time I was ok but this time is a completely different story - I’m having a stressful time at work and with my 2 year old and having to do more lifting than usual (again the 2 year old) and I just generally feel crap and definitely having more pains than last time round. I’m 17 weeks now and a week or so ago I kept thinking I could feel movement but haven’t felt anything in a few days. I know this early that it’s totally normal not to feel regular movement but I can’t help but worry. I’ve got 3 weeks to my scan but my hubby won’t be able to make it so yesterday I casually suggested we might want to get a gender scan so he can be there when we find out if it’s a boy or girl. He went for it and we have a scan booked for this evening.

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That is so exciting. I had a bit of a meltdown and suggested the gender scan too and we booked for next week - I wanted to be 17 weeks too just in case the results are easier. It was quite reasonable thankfully.

Best of Luck this evening!!

Xxx

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Thanks. Good luck to you too with you scan x

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We were the same. My wife's uncle is a consultant and was re-assuring us that the 12 week showed perfect, we had a Harmony at 10 weeks which showed perfect, but we're still stressed.

Hopefully you'll calm after your 20 week, and after that the little one will be moving so much, its a daily re-assurance all is well.

My wife is 30 weeks and we're always feeling my daughter to be kicking and jumping away, the other night on the sofa you literally could see the kick through my wife's dress!

But looking back, the time from getting a BFP to the 7 week scan was the scariest.

All I can say is what my wife's uncle told us, (which didn't stop us worrying) but after the thumbs up at 12 weeks, you have something like a 99% chance of having a perfect baby

Best of luck x

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Yes those are good odds after the 12 week - that makes me feel better actually thanks for that! :)

Hope the rest of your wife's pregnancy goes well! She is nearly there!!

Xxx

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Thanks! The time flies by, especially with the worry! You'll be at 21 weeks in no time! x

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I started to feel baby at 18 weeks and that reassured me no end, also I had a Midwife’s appointment in between where I heard the heartbeat and that helped too. You might start to notice a bump which is also reassuring. There’s nothing like the reassurance of a clear anomaly scan but there are milestones along the way and you can always pay for a private scan mid way if you feel you need to see bubba. They often come up on groupon and that kind of site and are much cheaper than a harmony test. Xx

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Ah yes so true the heartbeat is reassuring too. I am quite massive but no movement yet - hopefully I will feel something soon....

We booked a gender scan for next week - just for a look and not really for the gender. But nice to have this as a bonus.

:) xxx

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I couldn’t wait that long either so booked a gender scan for next week. Did have my first midwife appointment the other day and did get to listen to the heartbeat 💗 so that put my mind at ease ☺️ xx

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Haha me too! 😀😀😀💙💓💙💓💙💓

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Mine is next Tuesday! Tick tock lol. I’m feeling the baby move lots for last couple weeks so that’s keeping me going till I see them again. It’s as bad as waiting for the 12 week scan 💖

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Ah nearly there!!! So amazing that you can feel your little one inside :) Did you crack and get any scans in between the 12wk and now?

Xxx

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Nope! But, I did get 2 heartbeat checks after the 16 week one. I had a mini meltdown and was really upset one day, was about to book a private scan but we live quite remotely so all were 2-3 hours drive and I travel that distance most weeks for work too so it just seemed too much. So rang my midwife and she was really nice and got me in that day to check and offered me to come back the following week too - so that was last week. It was enough to tell me baby is happy enough for now. How long have you got to go? xxx

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I am 17 weeks on Sunday - we cracked and booked a scan next week.

Feel a bit annoyed with myself - but I just needed to check!

So good you got a few heartbeat checks - it is amazing when you hear that little beat.

Xxx

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Don’t feel annoyed, we all do what we have to. It’s a different journey for us so if we need to seek some extra reassurance so be it. 20 weeks Sunday and I just can’t believe it!! Starting to get pretty excited which is a nice feeling - whilst still very cautious hoping scan is all good. Best of luck for next week 😊 xxx

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We have our 17+3 week private scan (including gender results) tomorrow!!

🤞🤞🤞🤞🤞

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Update above. X

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Congratulations! Hope this reassures you (for a while at least) xx

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Thanks yes - this makes me feel a lot calmer. Xxx

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Great news! I thought that my baby would be a girl (not sure why, just a feeling) but 20 week scan revealed I was wrong! 😂 He is a proper little boy as well, even at only 16 weeks old. Hope you can relax for a bit now & look forward to your next scan xx

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Yes I feel much calmer. Thanks for your message.

I have to start calling her a her! We were referring to it as him for so long!

Xxx

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Congratulations on your little girl - so glad you got some reassurance. The wait between 12 and 20 weeks is a long one! I ended up going for a private scan at 19 weeks just because I'd had an awful dream that I'd miscarried and got really upset about it. Fyi - it gets a bit boring after the 20 week scan until you start going for your regular midwife check ups (well it is for me anyway!) I still have 3 weeks to go but I have the baby's movements to keep me reassured 😂 xx

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Ah thanks - yes no movements and barely any symptoms was just driving me nuts.

She said just to expect the movements quite late as my placenta is at the front.

Aww can't believe only 3 weeks to go!!!

Xxx

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3 weeks to go until my next midwife check up - 17 weeks to go until my due date 😴😴 Haha!

My placenta is at the back and I didn't feel feel much until around 20 weeks, just a few flutters. At least you can relax a bit now and don't have long to go until you see your baby again xxx

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Oh haha I got confused and thought it was 3 weeks to labour :) yes 3 weeks until 20 week scan.

Hopefully I don't go bonkers again.

Xxx

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Yeyyyy congrats, a little pink bundle for you to look forward to!!xx

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Ah thanks - I can hopefully sleep tonight! I needed some reassurance for def.

Hope you are ok.

Xxx

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Whoop! Fabulous. 💖 So glad this has brought you some calm xx

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Ah yes - calm, for now anyway :) this 12-20 wk was a killer. Waiting is what makes people suffer on this forum it seems.

Xxx

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