Complaint to the clinic

After having 3 rounds of IUI and then 1 round of donor eggs which all failed, I decided to write a complaint to my clinic in Southampton.

Because of what I felt was 'false hope', I went for a round of donor eggs as it came across as if the odds were quite high for it to work. However the embryos were not the best quality - one was 8 cell grade 1 and the other was 10 cell grade 2 but had started to fragment. The five remaining weren't good enough to freeze so that left me with nothing after the round failed.

I personally don't think that's right, you are given the impression that they will be top notch quality (after the donors being screened and a young age) but if they weren't good enough to freeze then that tells me the whole bunch weren't very good. I think in a case like that, you should be given another try with another choice of donor eggs, they might not of mixed well but that isn't the receivers fault and is just one of those things.

Anyway we will see what the response is x

16 Replies

  • Hey

    Not good is it, when I looked into donor eggs the reason they have such a high success rate is because if the age of the donor normally 20-25.

    As a 20-25 year old for Ivf chances are 50-60% me as a 39 year old it's about 20%

    I don't think there are any possible guarantees in any of it. Just luck and miracles💔

  • Your right about the donor being younger or as they said to me under 35.

    When you use a donor egg, the chances are based on the age of that person not your own age.

    Hard though to get your head around.

    Good luck to you x

  • Hey distinction, this whole process is just so hard and draining.

    I'm on my last own egg cycle and have considered using donor eggs as ours don't make it past day: 3

    Hubby has tests and all ok. 95% fertilise so can only think something goes wrong when they get together

    I don't know what to do really, hard to believe last attempt will bring different results but got to try

    What a mess

    It's heart breaking seeing lots of women who don't want kids pregnant and all the girls here who are going through hell with no guarantee whatsoever

    I wish you all the luck in the world whatever the future holds💕💕💕💕💕💕💕

  • Yes it certainly takes it out of you!

    Your so right in what you've said, it's definitely one of the hardest things I've had to go through.

    Like I've experienced with donor eggs, when mixed with the sperm, they don't always work together! Such a hard thing but we are strong and try to keep hopeful.

    Good luck to you too x

  • Yes that doesn't seem right. We are planning to do donor eggs also probaby going abroad. You would expect to get top notch eggs wouldn't you. X

  • Yes I think that is how it comes across but it isn't always the case.

    Good luck x

  • I totally agree and understand your upset as yes they are portrayed as 'the best quality'

    I would be interested in the response you get. Do you get to choose the age of the donor?? X

  • I will put on here the reply I get, it may be useful for some readers.

    No you don't get to know the donors age, all I was told was they are under 35 x

  • We used DE for round 3 of ICSI and we're given 40% chance of success so much better than for my age but still not a great statistic. Even though we'd had 2 rounds of ICSI and 2 BFNs I still hoped that DE would get us a BFP. Unfortunately we got a third BFP. There is so much they don't know about in/fertility so I doubt you'll ever get a 'real' answer. When I asked why the consultant said if they knew everything there was to know they'd know who would respond to treatment, we'd all get BFPs plus they'd know who won't respond to treatment. I felt disappointed about the number of mature eggs we got as they were from a younger woman but it had all been explained to us that nothing was guaranteed. The quality of our embryos was ok but again they had been clear that there are no guarantees about fertilisation rates, especially as sperm quality which was a factor for us.

    Rather than complain (and that's entirely your choice) have you had a follow up appointment with the consultant and/or clinic manager to discuss your concerns? I'd imagine that fertility clinics get quite a few similar enquiries/complaints. It might help them to have feedback so they can ensure they communicate effectively with other patients, I know this doesn't change things for you. As rubbish as it is not every egg results in a pregnancy for people with no fertility issues. Fertility treatments are often unsuccessful and don't always result in ET.

  • I was given 65% chance of my treatment working. I realise it doesn't work for everyone but if you think about it, your just helping with the developing stage so it's not as hard as in when you use your own eggs and the sperm has to find it's way - with IUI any way! Of course different with IVF.

    I was offered a follow up appointment but decided not to attend, this was mainly because I had already been told that they don't know the reasons as to why it didn't work so I thought what was the point - they would only say if you want to try again that's another £7000 please!! I do think though, if the embryos were that good a quality then they would of been able to freeze the others so that indicates to me that they weren't. Plus I had to buy medication taking me up to 3 months pregnant as they were so sure it would work - it's now just sitting in a box after I've paid for it!

    Good luck on your journey! x

  • Hi I'm planning to do donor eggs privately before Christmas.

    can I ask why you add to buy this medication prior to getting a positive pregnancy test. That seems unfair to expect you to do that. Xx

  • You can ask what ever you want.

    That was partly what I complained about. The nurse said that it was a much higher chance of working and they talk as if its going to work - that's why they wanted to order that amount! x

  • That doesn't seem right to me I would probably complain about that too. They can't guarantee it will work so really that medication should be bought back by them. Xx

  • Yes - I did!

    I'm still awaiting my reply! x

  • Hi! I'm sorry your failures. And there might be a thing about the egg quality. But the world of ivf so very strange we get results we don't expect. The reasons for the failed cycle can be different; another issue is how to deal with it further. If you aren't comfortable with your clinic you have plenty of other places to apply to. Also I'd recommend They offer free consultations. So you can get the second opinion on what's going to happen next to your treatment. Moreover no money paid extra for this. And currently wait for the response. We're all interested in how they explain it. Keep us updated, please. Gentle hugs.

  • Thank you I will take a look at that website you have mentioned.

    Yes after several failed attempts, it is hard knowing where to go with it all.

    Will update you on what happens from the response from the clinic x

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