Bad news
This morning again, pregnancy test shows negative. This was our 5 cycle. I don’t know what to think anymore, we’re broken.. I’ve read so many successful stories of women with endo getting pregnant with or even without ivf.
Maybe it’s time to look for other options, I don’t know.
I'm so sorry to hear you got another BFN. You don't need to make any binding decisions. Perhaps wait until after you've had your follow up? Your consultant is the best person to discuss clinical decisions/options with. Only you and your OH know if you can go through it again. It's a very personal decision.
For us it was time to stop after round 3 of ICSI for a range of reasons including my age, finances (self funded), emotional well-being, fear of further failures, further very expensive tests suggested etc.
Sending you a virtual hug.
Hi! Thanks for your response, you are definitely right! I'm going to have my consultation soon. I just feel kind of pressured..
So you are not planning on continuing with your journey? I am so sorry to hear that your 3 rounds of icsi were not successful. I'm praying for you. There's still a slight chance of conceiving naturally, I've on a lot of forums some stories about how women with pcos or endo have conceived naturally after 1-3 failed attempts of ivf. I hope for miracles in our lives.
Good luck
xoxo
So sorry to hear your news! I can't imagine how you're feeling after going through this 5 times! It's just devastating and we've only had one knock recently! Look after yourselves!!x
Thank you for your comment! You can't imagine my appreciation. I really need all your wishes to get through this quickly. And sorry to be so depressed and not sharing the love in the community. I just can't, I'm still thinking about my family's reaction about this cycle. I know they love me and care about me, but I feel like everyone was praying this to be a success but after the test I looked in the eyes of my husband and saw there a huge disappointment. I truly do not want to continue this stressful situation, but will I achieve my dream of becoming a mother in the future at all?
I think u are incredibly brave to have gone through this 5 times. Don't make any future decisions now as u are in emotional distress. Take time to make urself feel strong again. Ur not alone xxx
Thank you! I really appreciate to receive your response with such kind meaning! i clearly am devastated and can't find the proper words to say to myself after this. My dh said that it's okay, but I know how much he wants kids. And I can't give them to him. We even agreed on ivf de because stimulation was forbidden to me. I have endo and even tx couldn't help me with this. I really do not what to think. I've rested home on the weekend and was drowning in such awful mood. I just hope that I can become mother someday..
Oh Jane I'm so sorry u are in such pain. The pain u describe I totally understand & in that moment it feels like it won't stop but it will ease eventually.
The main thing right now is to focus on the follow up appointment & looking after yourself. Can u get some therapy to help u through it? I have found it incredibly helpful. Also maybe think about speaking to ur family about how u feel. I felt ashamed, like a disappointment as well & I started pushing family away until I decided that I should just speak to them. This has really helped.
It takes time to get through this experience but try not to do it alone xxxx
Your advices are really helpful! I will try and find myself a psychologist and will get some help because it is too hard to overcome by yourself. Yesterday as my dh came home with a giant rose bouquet I was so touched and started thinking that maybe I should really talk to him about how I feel, because he and my mother are the closest to me people in the whole world, only they can understand me and even by writing on the forum I fell as I am not fully open with people even though I try and wish to be..
I am sorry you went through such experience too, I hope everything is ok in your life rn! xoxo
Really sorry to hear this. There's no pressure to decide anything how so good on tight and be super kind to yourself xx
Thank you for your kind words. I am definitely not in best condition these days. I feel kind of pressured by everyone (my family, my husband) that I am not yet pregnant and even failed my 5 ivfs. I was thinking a lot about how can I overcome this how can I get pregnant quickly. I have endo and even after the tx I couldn't conceive. What a giant failure I am. Writing here and seeing how people are so kind and open made my pressure lessen. But still I feel like I am getting nowhere with my life...
Sorry to hear this, take time out to look after yourself X
Thank you!
I'll be staying at home for a week and will try to get as much rest as possible. xoxo
I am so sorry to hear ur heart breaking news, u are definitely more stronger than you think hun to go through it 5 times ino it's so easy for everyone to say don't give up but I think u should just go to ur follow up appointment and take it from there please look after yourself and rest massive hugs xxxxx
Hiii! Thank you for your kind words! You are so sweet. I've been getting so much rest lately, but only physically. Emotionally I'm still on that devastating roller-coaster and am trying to get out of it. Hope finally I'll calm down...
xoxo lots of hugs!
Aww hun u will be so emotional and hating the world right now and u have every right to as life can be so cruel and unfair I really do pray everything works out for you I really do hun xxxxx
Thank you for saying these words I am in need for them at the moment. Yesterday I have decided to go for a therapy with my dh. We want to put an end to our struggles and find a way for us to become parents eventually. We had a conversation last night and I felt like there is someone who loves me and is going to protect me. That was a precious moment. Hun thank you for replying me you are making my day xoxox
Hello! Sad to read that! You must feel so bad right now.. Do not pressure you to think about other possibilities after, just give yourself a rest, as you've gone through such a rough experience. I doubt that ivf is a pleasant thing. I'll be honest I've never experienced that, but I cannot conceive or carry a baby at all.
Several years ago I was diagnosed with uterus cancer and my uterus was removed. It also negatively affected my ovaries. I've been on synthetic HRT since. And recently I've been looking for an option of me becoming a mother. And as I've already overcome that devastating feeling of some kind of deficiency I've started thinking about women who are also have had hysterectomy or even their ovaries removed and are getting there, they become mothers with lots of options here.
You have to know that we live in the world where everything is possible and you are not alone here. You def have to manage a consultation with your dr and see what he has to offer you. And after you've rested for some time, had the consultation you are free to decide on your own. And do not feel like everyone is pressing you, I bet they are truly worrying about you and as loving people they carry about you and even go through their personal breakdowns maybe.
Have a rest, hun.
Thank you. you are right, my family is worrying about me, I now Know that for sure. Because after that bfn I was in such strong depressing mood that I couldn't even notice good things, everything was black and white to me. But now as I've had a conversation with my dh, we are thinking about getting a therapy for both of us, as after such rough years it is impossible to stay completely normal. I've decided to take a rest for some time, just to not damage my health and psychic more.
Sweety, I am so upset to read about your condition. Have you undergone already some tx?? xoxo
Yes! You go girl! That's the right way to handle the situation - to talk to your beloved ones! They are here for you hun
Not yet but I am about to, I've recently discovered a clinic where I want to get my tx done. We have had the consultation with the manager on the phone and were told that this clinic will be closed for 2 weeks on August and it'd be better to hurry. We don't know what to do now either we hurry up and fly over there next week or we wait for almost a month. We need to decide with work, maybe my husband will take days off when we manage the appt in Ukraine.
But that's great that you have found a clinic already, for some of us it takes so long to decide on the most suitable one. Do you want to apply for surrogacy with de there? Why in Ukraine? I don't even know where it is, not talking about clinics there. How did you even find out about it? xx
Hey so glad ur going to focus on ur health & seek some professional help. I found someone on here as it was recommended by my gp:
itsgoodtotalk.org.uk/therap...
Hope that helps u get started & it will be scary at first but stick with it.
I also started running every time my mind struggled which helped me feel more positive for the day ahead.
Xx
Nat6, thank you for sharing the link! It'll be really helpful no doubt. Also your idea of starting doing sport is amazing! As we all know how good sport influence in our mindset. When I am physically recovered I'll start running too but for now I'll stick with finding a suitable therapist for my dh and me. Also he is such a sweetheart, he is trying really hard to make me feel better and I cannot disappoint him. So I’ll try my best!
Jane, hi! Have found your post and decided to write here too. It seems like you got better after this week passed, but if you ever feel bad or depressed feel free to write here and we will find what to advise you! I am now after talking to women here have decided to purchase my dream after some time of thinking and even trying to get the impossible tx. I think, this forum is really helpful. Good luck! xx
Thank you! No matter when your kind words will always be appreciated, I am so thankful you have answered me here and it's like you've said - talking to someone who can truly understand me is the best thing in the world. I am glad that I wrote here as I've gotten so much comfort!! Thank you!
That's amazing! Are you already getting some tx right now? Xoxo
If you are asking, I am now searching for an option, because unfortunately I cannot carry a baby and cannot be stimulated to use surrogacy oe. So my dh and I are looking for the fertility center where we can get the tx done..
It's nothing, I had to cheer you up as I actually know what you are going through. xx
Oh, sad to hear that. There are a lot of women with such condition in our world.. I mean it's so unfair that some of us can get pregnant and others have to find ways that don't always work out. How to be when you have tried everything and still get nothing...?
Have you considered some clinic already? Here on the forum there are a lot of women who can advise you something..
I can slightly understand your feelings as I am a woman who have gotten her fifth bfn recently, but still your situation is not even comparable to mine. I am praying that I still have chance though after the follow-up dr said that it's better to follow the surrogacy way. I am heartbroken because I dream of becoming pregnant of all those 9 months of happiness, I even imagine how I would get angry about little things how my dh would do everything to me in order to calm down my pregnant self. I do not know how to feel although I am not in that depression and denial state I was week ago. But...
So you have already spoken to the clinics dr? I think it's better to wait before they finish with that 2 weeks thing, still do not understand why they need to close the clinic so abruptly..
I am so sorry that you had to go through all of this, your unfortunate surgery.. You will overcome your struggles when you get your baby! That's the ultimate cure - becoming a mother. I know that lots of women have problems after delivering a baby, I mean mental or something.. but for us it is such a happy moment to see the ultra sound, to caress the baby. I mean. How can we still think about anything else when we are away from our dreams? But... still... it's so hard to feel yourself normal.
So what did you choose?
We are going to wait for a bit and then will start the program with no pauses etc. Just to feel comfortable, I guess. I think we need some more time to reflect in this as even if we start the program in September (it's the start of the free season for my dh) we wouldn't wait for a long as they will find us a surrogate in 3 months (at least I hope).
Good and bad news today!!!
Bad news and donor eggs
Feeling teary/good news or bad news 
Bad News
Bad news 😕
