After effects of failed fertility

So ever since we started our journey over 5 years ago i have noticed my libido pretty much disappear! We have gone through a failed ICSI back in march and have been left with out only option of funding the treatment ourselves which at the moment has been pushed aside. I am wondering what i can do about my libido? I feel like i am letting my husband down and dont want to push him to breaking point. Is there anything a doctor can do to help this? Any advice would be great!

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  • Hey

    It's hard isn't it, after so much poking and prodding you just don't feel like it. Add in hormones, disappointment, fails and it's a recipe for no sex!πŸ˜‘

    We bought a vaginal lubricant, sounds a bit old lady, but it's helped.

    Also, making love outside of the fertility window, just because.

    This journey is crap, but, you will get through.

  • To be honest i would try anything at this point. I feel like i no longer think about sex. I feel awful for it because i dont want him to feel that i dont want to have sex just because we cant get pregnant. Its got to the stage were its never on my mind.

  • I totally get you, I could have written this!

    It's hard because you initially spend years avoiding getting pregnant, then years trying to, then you kind of think sod it!

    That's why for me , I can't think of fertile days. I'm trying to consciously remind myself sex is nice.

    When we do it, I enjoy it, but like you, I simply don't feel like it and hubby reminds me....πŸ˜‘

  • Go away with him wear something sexy have a drink or too push every thought to the side and remember a time where you used to be. We all used to be someone before this and we will be new after this don't ever forget where you were before all this started 😘

  • Thanks! Its hard to remember what it was like with all the stress, worry, depression and drugs.

  • At least you know you're not the only one πŸ˜„

  • I love his post. I'm in this sane place. Total lack of libado. Seems the more I'm not in the mood, he is. I've got lots of body image issues and have done for years. The dressing sexy thing doesn't work for me πŸ˜” I used to like a couple of glasses of wine to lower the inhibitions, but were 4 months pregnant now And I haven't drank since about Feb time. Not that I don't fancy him, just doesn't enter my head that we haven't done it. Till he reminds me then I feel bad or worry he will go elsewhere. I know he won't, but just add it to the list of things I worry about...I'm 36 now and waiting patiently with him for my sexual peak to kick in as it allegedly does mid 30s lol

  • I feel the same 😁 After having my tubes out I think it physcologically removed my mojo!! Lol! It doesn't help me that my hubbys got really bad chrons so he doesn't feel like it either. I feel like we're a pair of oap's, we just need to be say rocking in a chair sucking worthers originals now! Lol! Joking aside, in a wierd way my hubby and I are closer now than we've been in a long time, we talk more, have tea away from the tele, hug more and kiss more, the power of a hug with feeling does us both for now! πŸ˜‚ Xx

  • I understand completely where you are coming from. It sounds awful and I know it shouldn't be the case but this journey takes over everything and is way more important than thinking about having sex. I was terrified it would mean the treatment wouldn't work as well and after we did get BFP I was equally terrified incase anything went wrong. X

  • It's kind of what's the point isn't it? I feel very unsexy, probably a mixture of failure of treatment, having put on weight after finishing treatment, being tired etc. It sounds a bit weird but how about scheduling it in your diary (perhaps not actually writing it in there)?

  • I've the same problem but it's him not me...can't help but take it personally 😁

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