I haven't posted for a while but thought I would just let you all know how I'm doing. Some of you may remember that I had a chemical pregnancy a few weeks ago. I was OK for a week or two before having a complete meltdown - panic attacks at work, the lot (I'm a teacher so this was not good!) My Head of Department made me go to the doctor, even though I did not think they could do anything for me except sign me off work which I didn't want. However, I spoke to the most lovely doctor who reassured me that I wasn't a complete loony tune and that what was happening to me was normal after having been through so much physically and emotionally. He pointed me in the direction of mindfulness; a buddhist technique that cognitive behavioural therapy is based on, and since day 1 of meditating I have been so, so much better. That weekend, hubby and I went and stayed in a shepherd's hut on our own in a Cornish field on Bodmin Moor and lazed around and did colouring in and it was so relaxing and exactly what we needed.
I just wanted to share this with you all as I wasn't expecting this experience to affect me so much and so deeply - I am normally a very pragmatic person - but, for anyone else who is struggling after a failed IVF cycle or loss, I just wanted to say that the grief and madness does pass and there are ways to make it better.
Wishing you all the best of luck with all your future treatment. Xxx