Worried for the future: Hello all, I... - Fertility Network UK

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Worried for the future


Hello all,

I found this site this week and it has been really great in hearing your own personal journeys and some positive outcomes. My partner and i have been ttc for 5 years. We went and had some tests done about a year ago and it came back it was my partner who had 0 count. I was quite shocked as neither of us expected that. They referred us to Manchester, however we are yet to start the process due to me waiting, apprehension i guess.

Yesterday my friend found out she was pregnant which was a shock, and although i am really happy for her its sent me on a downward spiral.

I am thinking of going back to the drs this week to ask if they can refer us again. Not sure if we will have to have all those tests done again before we can be sent to Manchester.

Not quite sure what to expect regarding the 0 count and how they deal with it.

Any advice is greatly appreciated.

20 Replies

Hi Lauren, really sorry about the test results & that youre having to go through this.

When you start at Manchester they will likely redo the tests with it being over a year since they were done. In the meantime though I would chase them directly (you might need to get the contact details from your GP) I have had my husband have a few sperm tests as results can vary every time so look to have the test again. Also he should have been referred to a urologist for tests as sometimes the lack of sperm could be due too a blockage that might be fixable, so if your GP didn't do that then go back & insist! Good luck in your journey x

lauren3189 in reply to poochi

thanks for your reply :-)

I have spent so much time researching, i am not too familiar with what would happen if it is a blockage.

Is surgery an option?


poochi in reply to lauren3189

Hi it's not something my husband had so I'm not sure of treatments all I know is that given his sperm test he should see a urologist. A lot of people are quick to just jump to IVF with male factor but some men can have the condition reversed or at least improved. It's no guarantee but definitely worth the investigation xx

lauren3189 in reply to poochi

Thank you so much I will let you know x


Hi I am at Manchester and have had 2 cycles so feel to message me any questions etc. I did find I had to keep pestering them to get anywhere. X

How have you found your cycles. Did you find out what the issue was x

Hidden in reply to lauren3189

Hi ours is a mixture, I have low amh and hubby slightly low sperm count so we had icis. I did get a positive on 2nd cycle but it was sadly a chemical pregnancy. I have found treatment at Manchester good, all staff brilliant and caring just the admin side is crap. I would phone them tomorrow and ask where your referral is up to and keep ringing til you get somewhere that's what I did. We have used our NHS goes now so transferring to private Manchester clinic xxx

lauren3189 in reply to Hidden

Good luck with that I wish you all the best. I am still learning the terminology too lol. I hope I get a good response from my dr tomorrow that will be the first step I think x

Hidden in reply to lauren3189

Good Luck and keep coming on the forum it's a life saver once you get started xxx


Hi lauren3189! I was going to say something similar to poochi regarding tests over a year ago.

On another note, I can completely relate to what you said about it being a shock finding out your friend is pregnant. There have been so many feelings like that for me too. The worst was when my sister-in-law announced her pregnancy. A year and a half ago (we had been trying for a while already) she said to me that she never wanted to have children, that being parents just wasn't something she and her hubby wanted to do. And while I think it's great they changed their minds, I felt it was completely unfair that they got pregnant their first month trying! I couldn't face her for weeks, just couldn't force happiness for her until I got through all of my emotions and began to feel it genuinely. Now we've got a little niece due to arrive in a month 😊

Anyway - I get it!! Just frustrated at the unfairness of life, right?

Yes very frustrating and then you feel guilty. I am worried the dr will be funny about referring me again I feel like this is almost the first obstacle x

My husband has a 0 count too. He went through many blood tests and then surgery to remove sperm from his testes. At this point we had no idea if he had any! He did and now they are in a freezer somewhere! My husband is carrier of CF which means he is missing both vans deferens. We are waiting for IVF at the moment.

Good luck.

Thanks for your message, good luck to you too.

Please keep us updated.

Will this be your first cycle of IVF?


Yeah out first cycle, probably starting November. It's so scary when you get told no sperm. I definitely went through a grieving process and it's still going on. But we have our swimmers, so I should stay positive. This is the surgery my husband had. aberdeenfertility.org.uk/tr...

7stitches- ouch!

Hi Lauren

Welcome to the forum, you'll never regret posting on here, it's been a real life saver for me particularly on bad days.

Sorry to hear about the results of your tests, these things definitely take time to absorb and deal with. I personally don't know much about sperm issues as we are going through IVF due to my endometriosis (starting cycle 2 this week) but I think you should definitely go back to be referred again. It's totally normal to feel apprehensive and a whole host of other emotions when dealing with something like this but I am also at Manchester and have found all the medical staff very good. I have to agree with button that the admin side can be a bit lapse but I've always had great confidence in the doctors & nursing staff. There is also a counselling service which I've found really helpful.

I know exactly how you feel when others announce their pregnancies, the pain is so raw and then comes the guilt because you feel you should be happy for them, you're just sad for you and it highlights what you want and are struggling to achieve, fearing it will never happen 😔

Good luck whatever you decide to do, keep coming on here though, you're never alone and it'll definitely help xx

Thanks Georgina, i am hoping my doctor will refer me back. I feel that is a hurdle in itself. I didn't want to start the process with how i was feeling at the time though but now i feel ready.

It is good to hear you are at Manchester too.

How was your first cycle. I wish you all the best of luck :-) x

Lots of luck that your doctor will, I'd really push it if they seem reluctant. It's so important you feel ready for something like this, try and stress to him/her how important it was for you to be in the right place physically and mentally, and now you are.

My first cycle wasn't actually as bad as I thought it'd be physically, it's obviously quite intrusive and not how any of us would choose to try and be parents but I tried to take each day and appointment at a time. For me the emotional side of things was harder, I've found it really important to be open with your partner about how you're both feeling, let it all out when it's getting to you (with him and others you trust) then pick yourself and look forward. I'd advise using the counselling service if you get referred and this forum! It's easier said than done some days of course and I certainly don't have all the answers and still struggle myself but that's how I've got through. I've also learnt to appreciate everything else in my life, have some fun with hubby and try not to let this define me but again, easier some days than others 😕

Feel free to dm me if you like at any point, keep us posted and lots of luck xx

Sunshine1001 thanks for your reply, thanks also for sending the link.

I really hope this works for you :-)

Thank you! I hope you get answers soon and can start on your own journey. The waiting is really hard. xx

Hi Lauren I can totally relate to how you feel, my DH like Jazzynicinoo has no vas deferens so is producing sperm but has zero sperm count.

My advice is take the leap and at least find out why your partner has 0 sperm. We have done 2 cycles of ICSI but by far the tests at the beginning and my hubbys op were the scariest and hardest part of the process. We just kept thinking we dont want to regret not finding out and thinking what if?

Best of luck for you and your partner 💖xx

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