Feel so alone .....

[EmJayne91]

Hi ladies I hope you are all well, it's been a while since my last post. Things are still going well with our little bubba and I will be 10 weeks on Tuesday!

I can't help though feeling like the loneliest person in the world right now though! I've been suffering quiet badly with sickness for a few weeks now and have had to call in sick about 4 occasions with work. I work in a call centre of 5 so I realise me having time off will have an impact on my team but they are making me feel a million miles away from being part of a "team"

I was signed off work on Friday for two weeks with hyperemesis gravitation if you google it it mentions about it being a form of severe morning sickness etc. It's not something I am making up and the doctor told me ladies who have gone through IVF are more likely to be prone to sickness as its to do with the hormone levels (obviously we've all been pumped full of hormones) I called my manager on Friday to let him know and he was in a meeting, my colleague told me she would let him know and for him to call me back. This was at 11am I waiting until 3.45 for his call and hadn't heard a thing, he had gone home for the weekend and won't be back in until Tuesday. So I've still got my sick note with me at home as I didn't take it in in Friday, is it just me or is that just rude he didn't call me back?

Out team are usually a close nit bunch and I thought we were all friends, if ever any of them are off sick I would text them to let them know I am thinking of them, I haven't hear a single thing from anyone! I self certified on Tuesday afternoon so haven't been in much last week, they all know I've now been signed off and my heard a peep!

I felt so awful on Thursday last week all I wanted to do was sleep, the other half came in from work and was annoyed I hadn't done the washing up, again this just made me feel so alone I just wish people would understand how this makes you feel! I then feel so guilty we've wanted this for 4.5 years, it's finally happening and I've done nothing but moan about it I just want to enjoy being pregnant now.

Am j the only one feeling like this or is anyone else? Xx

[Daisy14]

First things first, you must look after yourself. That is the most important thing.

One thing I have felt before is that extreme loneliness. Last cycle I was very surprised how little friends and colleagues 'fussed' over me. I certainly didn't want it (so fickle!) but felt very lonely and irrelevant. I was never off sick and always out so wondered why noone asked after me or rang, even if I dreaded lying to them.

I confided in some people this year and I am confident that they just didn't want to bother me. They realised it must be something heavy and didn't want to intrude so left me to contact them if I needed anything. I couldn't quite understand that but I do believe it.

Do you have anyone you can talk to can talk to your partner? Look after yourself xx

[Madcatlady55 in reply to Daisy14]

I think it's a difficult time for others, especially when they don't understand what we're going through. I have suspicions that my boss is trying again and if so today was ec. I desperately want to be there for her, but understand that I must respect her wish for privacy. I think sometimes you just have to be honest and say what you really want. Since my boss lost her little one on her previous cycle and I lost my husband in February, our relationship has changed. I'm hoping this time we can walk this road together, if I can find the courage to tell her about my ivf.

[pm27]

Congratulations on getting to 10 weeks. As you've got a medical diagnosis and a sick note so you're not skiving you're unwell. Your colleagues will manage without you. Your manager was probably busy, hence the delay. You have fulfilled your obligations by informing your work place. You could email a copy in if you wanted to.

I felt a 'bit done' by after others at work got flowers after mcs and I didn't. They didn't give flowers when I was off work for 4 months with depression either. I'm friendly with a couple of my colleagues and they stayed in touch with me but generally I think there's an unwritten rule of no contact whilst off sick. Unfortunately not everyone is as caring or thinks of sending a quick text. I did that with a colleague when she was off with depression and she never sent me one text after my first BFN , they knew what had happened.

Are your colleagues aware that you've had treatment? Once you've got a significant pregnancy bump they might start to discuss names, nursery paint schemes etc with you.

With regards to your OH perhaps get them to read info on your condition on the NHS website so they have a better understanding of why that washing up didn't get done. You need to look after yourself and bubba.

Hopefully you'll start to feel better once you get into the 2nd trimester.

[Lucyloo81]

Just going to be straight to the point here lovely:

1: Your pregnant and ill so sod what your boss or what the team thinks.

2: You man better get used to the house work not being done as it will be 10 times worse in the near future. There will be bottles, nappies, toys etc everywhere and if he's smart he will learn to just come in and do the washing or he will have a hormonal women punching him.

3: You are a wonderful yummy mummy to be so go out your feet up (over your mans favourite shirt) and have a well deserved cuppy

😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁

XXXX

[Kelly-03]

You may feel more like this because of your hormones aswell.

Maybe talk to your partner and tell him how your feeling?

Just remember no matter what you have something so special and that is all that matters.

Take care and good luck with everything 😀 X

[Hopeful1982]

Hello

I had morning sickness too. I found going to work and trying to act normal really difficult so no idea how you would manage with hyperemesis! On the plus side this is what Kate Middleton suffered form so you are in good company! Morning sickness is really trivialised when it's actually something that completely floors you! So, take care of yourself. Sleep and rest when you need to. Mine passed around 14 weeks and I did go on to enjoy my pregnancy. I hope yours passes soon too. But, if it doesn't it will still be worth it in the end!

Take care X

[MommaBear16]

Hi EmJayne! Hope you are starting to feel a little better in yourself now, the sickness sounds just awful, I hope you're resting as much as you can.

As for work, it has to come secondary to your health at the moment. I know it's upsetting but the reality is it's just not important. Your team will come back around when you're back as normal and I think we always imagine things are worse than they actually are because everything is heightened in this process.

I hope the sickness eases for you soon so you can continue to enjoy your pregnancy.

Lots of love x x x

[Hidden]

Nope I felt like this I even said to my best friend that Pregancy is so Lonley. I love my baby I am carrying now but I won't be doing this again.

It is a wierr sort of lonesome feeling so you are not alone