Feel so alone

Hi all, I have been a bit quieter recently as I have been trying to live a life not solely focused on infertility, treatments or miscarriages. I was 8 weeks yday and have already had three scans which showed a heartbeat and measured to size. The reason I have had so many scans is that I have been spotting. Mostly brown gunk! Generally have spotted a little then it's stopped. First time it was accompanied by cramping the next time it wasn't. Today I woke up and was spotting again. But instead of stopping it's getting heavier and heavier. My scans at the EPU showed a haematoma beside where the baby is. My clinic were doom and gloom telling me that if it comes out it will take the baby with it. From our first EPU scan at 6+6 to our last one at 7+6 the baby had grown but so had the sak beside it. I called my EPU earlier today and got a sharp lady (all the other times they have been lovely) who basically said that unless it turns red or I get considerable pain then don't call back. But I am sitting here, alone, feeling like it's all over and I am powerless to stop it. How can it be right that we are left to stew like this? I know that there is nothing that they can do but this is just horrible.

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  • Oh hun I wish I could give you a big hug & make it all better. I can't imagine how hard it must be for you. I'm gonna send positive thoughts that your body is now slowly and carefully getting rid of the haematoma & that is what is causing the spotting. I'll keep everything crossed for you xx

  • I don't envy you this difficult, anxious time! Try to occupy yourself with optimistic thoughts, go for a walk and try to relax and focus on the positive - you have a baby with a healthy heartbeat.

    You can always tell us how you are feeling and you are definitely not alone. I am coming up to my scan this week and am also petrified after having brown spotting - I've also been told that it is totally normal though and many women experience this.

    I do hope everything is OK and the spotting clears up. Such a lonely experience and not something you can easily share with those around you.


  • That wasn't very sympathetic of her.

    Diane, the IN nurse, runs a helpline so you could try ringing her tomorrow? There may be nothing she can do but you will get a sympathetic listener. You can PM her too.

    In the meanwhile try to rest and contact the EPU as instructed.

  • Oh Hun so sorry to hear this, there's nothing I can say to make you feel better but I just wanted to reach out and say I hope it all works out. It is terrible that these situations are not handled more sensitively, it's such a traumatic & worrying time. Sending huge hugs to you xxx

  • I feel for you, and as much as you want to stay positive it's easier said than done. I had a very abrupt lady at my epu don't think they realise just what we go through. You can always talk to us on here and hopefully get some support xxx

  • Oh how difficult for you. Try to be positive though - what you know right now is you have a baby with a heartbeat and as she said no need to call unless it goes red, as long as there is no red blood, then everything is fine! Perhaps you could try calling and if you get another nurse they might be better. It seems that in the NHS nurses are very variable...

  • Hope you're feeling a little brighter today Imd :( Stay strong lovely and if you need help don't be afraid to keep asking. I'm not even 5 weeks and worried about everything so I can't imagine how you're feeling with all this going on. Try to stay positive, it's amazing that you've had the scans, they will help keep you going. Lots of love x x x

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