I'm scared and don't know what to do

[becca000]

hi everyone I was at the doctors today and he said that I will need ivf, I'm really scared as I don't know what it will be like and what happens, hope someone can help me please

[1Boo]

Hi becca, welcome to a great forum where you can ask and share anything! Everyone is really supportive and helpful! The prospect of this is daunting but it's ok so don't be scared. Have you had all the blood tests done yet to confirm? Xxx

[LillieF]

Hi Becca, the advice I was given was to take is step by step, and that's been the most important thing. When you meet with the fertility clinic ask lots of questions about your journey. It's easy to use google but everyone is different. Good luck x

[emu2016]

Hello Becca,

My journey, like yours, started in October when I was told that with low amh, high fsh, poor egg quality that my chances of even IVF working relied on a miracle...

Here are some top tips from me:

Buy Guide to Fertility and Assisted Conception by Zita West

Don't try and answer everything now

Take time to come to terms with it

Don't expect things to move really fast - that way if they do - it's a bonus

Don't read Google.

Do use this forum. Follow a few people in a similar situation. Talk to others.

Ask questions at your appointments. Take a list in. Don't be afraid - even if you think they're silly.

Keep a pack with all your info in

Take time for you and partner.

You'll have follow up appointments now... Someone here might tell you one thing but another might happen.

Eat cake. But not too much. It was my life saver for 4 weeks after finding out!

xx

[pm27]

After going through lots if tests and waiting for the results I remember feeling huge shock that we needed ICSI as we'd managed to get pregnant twice but lost them. Once we'd got over the shock it was easier to move forward.

I felt better once we started the actual treatment and as we were private self funded we started this very quickly.

My advice would be take each step and tick it off on your treatment plan or calendar. Try not to Google things and ask questions if you're not sure. Be aware of success rates at your clinic/for your age range.

Good luck.

[MommaBear16]

Hi Becca! Getting that information must have come as quite a shock, you'll need to give yourself time to come to terms with it. There's lots of information on this site and others that explains what the IVF process it. It's likely that you will have lots of tests initially then you will meet with a consultant to determine which treatment is best for you. Take it one step a a time, be prepared to wait between appointments and ask questions when you need to. Good luck with your journey x x x

[Kelly-03]

Hi,

This forum is very good and helpful and we are in the same boat together. We all want our own family, our own miracles X

With your appointments my advice would be ask everything you want to, it's your body and your treatment with your partner so ask away.

One main thing is to talk to your partner, you are going through it together not alone and that's the last place you would want to feel and talking does help.

Also positivity, your in the best place possible and they will guide you on what's next and take each day as it comes.

Good luck xx

[NDE1987]

Hiya! Please don't feel scared, this forum is very good to help you over come your anxiety and answer some questions which you may have. I remember when I was told I needed treatment to have a baby I felt lost scared and thought what's wrong with me! I first had a lap done last October and had dye passed through my tubes which showed everything looked good! I was then given 3 months to try naturally....nothing happened and I still felt sad and annoyed. I had a follow up appointment and was told I could try iui (4 sessions allowed) and if that didn't work I will need ivf. 2 of my iui's haven't worked and in 2 weeks start my third! In the mean time I have signed off my consent papers to have ivf done if that dosent work. I have become more stronger emotionally as each appointment comes and goes. I have also learnt to be patient! Don't go into this treatment with high executions, instead take each day as it comes. Maybe change your diet now as in have plenty of protein and Brazil nuts and loads of water. Best of luck and don't be scared to ask anything xxx

[Hidden]

The good thing is we are all here for some reason or another. The bad thing is no matter how prepared you think you are you are not.

I wish someone has said to me that this will strain the best parts of you, twist and turn you inside and out, you will fall and get back up, you will scream, shout, be amazed and happy, sad and grim, sometimes feel Lonley and scared, and another hundred different things through this process.

Don't over analyse things

You will have good days and bad days

Hubby will sometimes get on your last nerves

You will gain weight

You wilL feel like a walking pharmacy

You will have to find a certain amount of patience and understanding

You will get stressed

But on the upside it's an amazing journey don't close your eyes to what may happen and what may not happen each of us have had a journey sometimes it's a good one and sometimes it's bad but. We have all shown massive strength, durability, and will power.

Not everyone has a happy ending but life is one big learning curve don't sit and wait just take each step as it comes.

Wishing you all the best for your journey 😘

[Smith15]

Hi there. I feel for you, it really is a shock when you find out you will need IVF. Take all the time you need, don't pressure yourself by thinking you should be getting on with things or feeling a certain way, we all cope and feel differently. I was in bits when I found out, it was surreal and in some ways it is hard to believe even now.

Knowledge is power, so do read up if it helps you, but make sure it's from a reliable source. Put yourself and your partner first, you need to look after yourselves now more than ever and do things that make you feel better. Some days you will be ready to kick it's backside and others you will want to stay in your pjs and cry - both are equally fine! Do what feels right and give yourself what you need.

You will find strength you didn't know you had and you will get through it. I'm the biggest needle phobe and emotional wreck, but did it. We were unsuccessful, but I'm getting through it and building ourselves up to try again. You will cope.

Remember to find happiness together between all of the ups and downs. It can feel like life is on hold, but it's not. Enjoy yourself!

People are fantastic on this forum and they will give you lots of advice every step of the way. You are not alone xxx

[Georgina78 in reply to Smith15]

Couldn't have said it better myself Smith15! It does feel like life is on hold but since our first failed cycle I've slowly learnt to enjoy all the other wonderful things in life and appreciate them. It's definitely one day at a time and things can differ so much from one day to the next, you just have to go with it don't you x