Sadly our IVF/ICSI has been unsuccessful 😓 scan confirmed this

[Tara2016]

Today we went for our first scan at 6 weeks gestation and the lady could only see an extremely small sack which has not developed past 3 weeks. I am however left feeling a bit confused as to whether she meant 3 weeks gestational or actually 3 weeks since transfer. It's all so confusing but I guess she is the professional and I am possibly still in denial. I have to go back next week for a follow up scan but the lady said she is pretty confident that it has not worked when I asked. Such a shame!

[Imd123]

It's devastating. I'm so sorry. I have some understanding of how you feel and it's just gut wrenching. Hopefully you have someone you can share this with and take time to grieve. When you are ready you can see the positive that you managed to implant which is great but at the moment just take time to absorb what's happened.

[Tara2016 in reply to Imd123]

Thank you for your kind words. It truly is a horrible feeling but I think I have yet to feel the pain, possibly still in denial/shock and in practical mode. My OH bless him is amazing but I think he suffering more than me right now, he just suffering in silence so we must help each other through this x

[MommaBear16]

I'm so sorry to read this Tara. Sending lots of love x x x

[Twistedwillow]

Sorry to hear you are going through this. I completely understand when you say you might be in denial. It's so very difficult not knowing a definitive answer but when in your situation of waiting for a further scan I decided to carry on eating healthy and thinking positively. Everyone is different and only you can decide how you want to feel over the next week and you have every right to feel upset, numb, annoyed, frustrated and pee'd off if you want as we put so much hope into every cycle.

Did you get a piece of paper from hospital as that might state measurements of sac etc. I know I walked away not hearing all the details properly when I was told similar but it was written on the paper.

Sorry if I've added to any upset, but just wanted you to know what you are feeling is understandable.

[Tara2016 in reply to Twistedwillow]

Thank you for your kind words. It's such a weird feeling, I feel like I want to cry but there is a blockage and I can't. Sadly she didn't give me any paperwork this time as she will conclude next week. I will continue to take the pessaries and remain healthy just in case but I will also at the same time start planning my life moving forwards because I dont think i can put my life on hold for another week when she was pretty clear it hadn't worked. I've called the clinic to ask them to phone me back to clarify things so will see what they say. I honestly feel empty it's so strange 🙁

Thank you for understanding x

[Twistedwillow in reply to Tara2016]

Asking them to call you is an excellent idea, write down any questions you can think of - I always remember after I've put the phone down. Not all babies grow at the same speed so just make sure you ask whatever you need to and make sure you have enough time lag between scans so they can really be sure that it's not viable. I know the waiting can cause additional heartache but you've got this far that you need to be sure.

I understand you wanting to be practical and start planning on what to do to move on and do that, as it's what you feel you need to do now, but just give yourself time to stop and try and come to terms with your feelings when you're ready to.

[Tara2016 in reply to Twistedwillow]

A different nurse called back and said it definately had not developed and for me to prepare for the worst so I guess that that's the confirmation I needed for now. I'm gonna still take care of myself though and not make any drastic changes until after my next appt x

[EmJayne91]

I'm really sorry to read this tara2016

Did you have a feeling something went wrong, were you bleeding or anything? Xx

[Tara2016 in reply to EmJayne91]

Thanks Em, I started spotting just under a week after transfer but then it stopped. At the time I thought it was all over but when it stopped and I was still pregnant I started to become more convinced that I was pregnant. I was going to the scan expecting to be pregnant, I never for a moment thought that it wasn't viable but there you go, u can just never really tell x

[pm27]

Sorry to hear this. It's such a shock being told your pregnancy isn't viable. You probably won't get an explanation for this and for me it added to the despair.

Take lots of care.

[Tara2016 in reply to pm27]

Thank you hun and yeah i know and it's hard to know where to go from there if you don't know why. We are gonna take some time out and probably start again next year as we have had our lives on hold for the last year so it would be good to focus on us for the time being x

[Kat9lives]

I'm so so sorry to hear this xxx

[Tara2016 in reply to Kat9lives]

Thanks hun x

[Hidden]

Aww so sad to read this, it's a horrible feeling and when you have been left dangling for ages it makes it hard to get your head around. Look after yourself and just take your feelings each day xxx

[Tara2016 in reply to Hidden]

Thanks Button it definitely took me by surprise and I was even planning on cancelling this scan because I was convinced I was pregnant this last week and didn't want to risk going to an early scan and not see a heartbeat. I wanted to wait so I could see more. Thank goodness I decided to go. I still don't think it has hit properly but we getting there. I hope you guys are all good x

[Hidden in reply to Tara2016]

Aww it breaks my heart for you. We where kind of the same with positive test, then the bleeding but examinations where all ok and hcg had began to rise to then get a call 6 days later telling me very bluntly the hcg had dropped to stop medication as we had lost the pregnancy I feel like someone had winded me but think it was just shock!!! I felt very empty and sad first few days but must admit going back to work and gaining some normality has helped. We have our holiday to look forward to, we have got a plan now but going to take a few months out first xx

Thinking of you 💗

[Tara2016 in reply to Hidden]

It's awful isn't it. I always said I'd prefer to have a negative result instead of getting pregnant and then it being taken from you. The fact I got to scan stage just made it that tiny bit harder for me. But onwards and upwards, I too plan to return to work on Thursday to try and keep focused. Wishing you all the best as well x

[Hidden in reply to Tara2016]

Yes defo would have been easier for a negative on test day, but we have both learned a lot from these cycles and hopefully our clinics have too xx

[Madcatlady55]

So sorry to hear this Tara. Your body is protecting you from the shock. I've been bereaved recently and I was numb for so long and then it hit. They tell me grief is like waves on the shore. At the moment the tide is out, but I'm expecting a tsunami some time in the future. This happened to my boss late last year, so I can understand your feelings. Sending angel dust 💔 xxx

[Tara2016 in reply to Madcatlady55]

Thank you for your message hun, yeah I think you are right my body is definitely protecting me in some way or another. It's so hard to accept such a thing but in time it will hopefully get easier depending on what happens with my journey x

[Ersky13]

So sorry to hear your news. Hope you have good support around you. Take care xx

[Tara2016 in reply to Ersky13]

Thank you x

[Rose-la-Milli]

So sorry to hear this. I went through a similar thing last year and it was really upsetting even though in the back of my mind I had a feeling it might not have worked. As other people have said it will take time to sink in and then you do have to grieve. But there will be positives to take from it like the fact that your body was ready to receive the embryo and went through the processes necessary.

[Tara2016 in reply to Rose-la-Milli]

Thank you Rose, yeah I was like you at first as I was convinced it wasn't going to work because I was spotting etc but it was only this last week I stopped spotting and started to feel pregnant strangely but they I got that surprise today. We are still positive and will continue on our journey and keep our chins up x

[Aimaim77]

Hi Tara, I'm so sorry to hear this . Such an emotional journey, take care of yourself . Xxxxxx

[Tara2016 in reply to Aimaim77]

Thanks hun x

[baby2016]

Aww 😓 This is sad to read. Thinking of you, just take one day at a time and look after yourself xx

[Tara2016 in reply to baby2016]

Thank you hun. We will do our best

[poochi]

Hi my 7wk scan last year they couldn't even find the sac. I went for a private scan & a heartbeat was found straight away. Ours ended in a loss a few weeks later still BUT I'd always get a second opinion as all technicians scan differently & 3 at my clinic failed to find my little bean even though it was there (NHS also found it no problem) x

[Hidden]

So so sorry to hear this. Be good to urself xx