Panic attacks after failed transfers.

[NovaRose]

Hello Blondie86,

I have never written on a board before but read your post and felt for you so much. We have done one own egg IVF round which resulted in a chemical pregnancy and two DE IVF'S round one chemical, one BFN. After the 3rd failed attempt, I started to suffer from severe panic attacks, which I am right in the middle of. I am taking a little break and trying acupuncture and Chinese herbs for 3 months, to try and help get the panic under control. So many people tell me that I just need to relax, or accept that I might not have children, and then my body will be calm and things will work, honestly, that has not helped. I don't know what the answer is, I know I don't want to give up, but I also don't want to try any more transfers until my body feels better. With that in mind I have decided to take a break, book a yoga retreat and go on holiday This journey is so scary and lonely, if you ever need someone to vent to, please feel free. Look after yourself XX

[DianeArnold Partner Nurse Fertility Network UK]

Hi NovaRose. Well, as far as I can see you have taken "the bull by the horns" and decided to do something about your panic attacks by trying acupuncture and Traditional Chinese Medicine. Just wanted to wish you well with it all, and well done for being positive. Never mind what the others say, you are doing OK. Good luck! Diane

[NovaRose in reply to DianeArnold]

Thanks Diane. xx

[pm27]

If only it was as simple as relaxing or accepting being childless. I can't believe that people have been saying this to you, how tactless they clearly have no experience of infertility and all that comes with it.

I also have had 3 BFNs from 3 rounds of ICSI (round 3 with DE) and have decided with my hubby that it's time to cease treatment and try to find a way of accepting we won't get to be parents. It's a very tough decision and I am still trying to find a way to cope with it.

We all cope in different ways, I've had panic attacks in the past and there were scary. I monitor my emotional well being closely due to a history of depression. I've had CBT counselling and have requested some more to help my manage my feelings of helplessness and failure. You've got a plan and that always helps me feel a bit more in control. My plan is to try to lose some of the weight that has crept on and I managed to lose a pound this week. I've used CBT and Mindfulness techniques along with exercise and using this forum to off load.

[NovaRose]

Hello PM27, thanks very much for your reply, you are right people don't understand what it's like and they can say things that they think are helpful but are utterly crushing. I'm so sorry that you've had three rounds that have not worked. Did you have your treatment in the UK? Have you considered other options, I mean other than the ICSI? It's is so hard and such a tough journey, my heart goes out to you. Each of us individually I guess has to decide when to walk away and when we feel enough is enough. Xxx